


My Best Friend's Wedding

by southernmiss



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Drama, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-08-24 02:58:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 71,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8354251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/southernmiss/pseuds/southernmiss
Summary: This, my friends, is a 'My Best Friend's Wedding' AU combined with our two favorite girls! Clarke Griffin is a very busy critic in NYC that gets a call from her long time best friend (that she's secretly in love with) telling her that she's getting married.  Clarke is determined to do anything to win back the heart of Lexa.  Her best friend.  The woman that she's in love with.  Can she do it without being a complete ass and ruining her relationship with Lexa?  Will there be familiar faces to help her along the way or will they choose to side with Lexa's fiance?Stay tuned... It's going to get good.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> What's up, guys? Wow... This was a lot quicker than I imagined. I kind of just threw myself into this first chapter. I hope that you enjoy it. Let me know what you guys think in the comments and as always... I love kudos.
> 
> Much love for you all! :)
> 
> (P.S. This is my all time favorite movie, so it was only right that I wrote this. You will find tons of the same dialogue from the movie just because I love it so much and I know them by heart. But I also add my own stuff of course. I'm hoping that the two will be cohesive.)

“What do you think of this piece, Ms. Griffin?” The nauseatingly, annoying man asks the blonde headed woman beside him. The two of them were observing works of art in one of New York’s many new up and coming galleries. The thin man happened to be the art curator for this particular gallery and he has been by far the creepiest man that Clarke has had to deal with in this profession so far. Every time that she turns around or looks out of her peripheral vision, there he is; staring at her like she’s an oasis in the middle of a vast desert. For instance, the look that he is giving her now makes shivers run down her spine and not the good kind.

She puts on her best fake smile, something that she’s all to use to, and answers him politely. “It’s very classical, with a bit of some romanticism in there. I can definitely see that. It’s impressive.” Clarke expressed as she turns her head back to regard the painting in front of her. “The artist seems to be very autotelic.” 

“Yes. Well, we only strive to have the best here at Weather’s.” He smirks and the action almost makes Clarke want to vomit. The blonde only nods, still gazing at the mesmerizing pieces in front of her. The artist truly is talented and in touch with their inner ‘flow’. When Clarke doesn’t say anything for several moments, the man speaks again. “Will you need a file in order to remember the name of the artist, and more importantly, the gallery?”

Clarke almost wants to roll her eyes. This is how her visits always pan out. Nothing but a bunch of power-hungry, wannabes, looking to make it big with a little help from yours truly. She turns her body once more to face him and holds a stern look on her face. She catches the slight wave of discomfort swarm over the man’s body; the scar over his upper lip almost seems to twitch. This is why she’s known as the most aggressive art critic in the city. Clarke Griffin is intimidating and most artists will come nowhere near her when she’s in their vicinity, and when they do they make damn sure to be the biggest suck up that they can be. That’s why she mostly has to deal with the curators themselves. “I’m writing it up as… inventive and confident.” 

“The art or the gallery, Ms. Griffin?” She can’t help it. She does roll her eyes this time. This man is really insufferable. Her job is to shed light on prominent and growing artists in the area and people like this guy seem to always want to take the credit. Clarke has news for him. That isn’t going to happen.

“My job is to critique art, Mr. Wallace.” Her voice is strong and unwavering as she points to the work on the walls behind her. “This artist is going places and I will make sure to write about that in my next piece. Good day, sir.” Clarke replies before tightening her hold on her briefcase that’s slung over her shoulder and she walks away. ‘The nerve of some people.’ She thinks to herself on her way out the massive glass doors that enclose the area. 

Before she’s even completely down the concrete steps that line the front of the building, her cell phone rings and she digs quickly in her bag to retrieve it. “Wells.” She answers with a grin. “Thank goodness. I need to vent.” His laugh is warm and familiar.

“Oh no. What has happened now?” He asks curiously from the other end of the line. “Let me guess. Yet another critique gone askew?”

“How did you ever guess?” She deadpans. “No… it wasn’t that bad. The art was beautiful. You will have to come see it soon. It was the damn, loathsome curator again.”

“Again? You’ve had to deal with this guy before?”

“Only once. He all but asked me out the first time and I politely declined.”

“Are you sure you ‘politely’ declined?” Wells asks and Clarke can practically see his grin from where he’s at across town.

“Yes.” She grunts. “Uhh… he’s such a creep. He was eyeing me throughout the whole visit… and then, he pretty much asked me to give him a good write-up. Like, what the hell? This isn’t about you. It’s about the artists.” She throws her free arm in the air dramatically.

“You sound like you could use a drink.”

“Oh, no. You’re not asking me out now too are you?” She smiles, knowing full well that Wells Jaha is going to ask her out. It’s always fun to tease him though. He is her best friend after all. Well… maybe second best? She’s not too sure anymore. It still feels weird calling him her ‘best friend’. That title has always belonged to someone else, but they never get to see each other anymore. It’s been months. Clarke shakes her head slightly, trying to rid herself of thoughts and memories that are probably long gone.

Wells scoffs over the phone. “Sorry. You’re not my type.”

“Fine then.” She grins. “But yes… I could more than use a drink. Or five.”

“Right then. The Ark in half an hour?”

“See you there.” She answers before ending the call and taking a deep breath. “God, do I need a drink.”

 

//

 

“Oh, by the way…” Wells utters after taking a sip of his wine as he and Clarke sit to having dinner at their favorite place in the city. The Ark. Dinner hadn’t originally been on the menu, but once they had arrived and started to see all of the mouth-watering dishes being led out by waiters and waitresses, they decided that they could eat. “Did that girl ever call you?”

Of course he would ask after Clarke had just popped a scallop into her mouth. Clarke rolls her eyes and begins to chew so that she can answer her friend. She honestly should think about trying something else when she comes to eat here, but their seared scallops are to die for. It’s what she’s always gotten. She’s not about to change now. “What girl?”

“I don’t recall her name.” Wells replies with a look that crosses over his face and Clarke can tell that he’s trying to reflect back onto one of their past conversations. “The one that worked for ‘The Times’.”

“Ahh…” Clarke responds just before taking a drink of her wine. “The one about the job?” Wells nods as he chews on a bite of his salad. “She did. I was going to tell you. I’m still in the running it seems. They asked me to just be patient.”

“That’s wonderful, Clarke.” He expresses with a soft smile and reaches over to place his hand over hers on the table before pulling back to continue eating. “Do you know how many other candidates there are?”

“No idea.”

“Are you nervous? I mean, ‘The Times’… shit. This is a big deal, Clarke. So many opportunities for you.”

“Well, I wasn’t.” Clarke answers his question and rolls her eyes simultaneously. “Thanks for that.”

“Sorry.” He grins. Before Wells can ask her anything else or make her even more nervous about this huge job opportunity, her cell phone beeps with a new message.

“Do you care if I check this?”

“Go ahead.”

She grabs her phone out of her bag on the ground beside her chair and unlocks it to see that she has a voicemail. “Huh.”

“What is it?”

“I have a new voicemail, but there’s no missed call. The number doesn’t look familiar.” Clarke stares at her phone for the longest as if she’s trying to remember the number. She doesn’t.

“Well, listen to it, dumbass.” Wells smiles and Clarke is quick to shoot him a glare before clicking onto the message and holding the phone up to her ear.

Her heart starts to beat erratically when she hears a familiar voice in the message. 

“Hey. It’s Lexa. Clarke, it’s been months, huh? Well, uhh… I can’t wait to talk to you. I’m in Chicago staying at the Langham hotel. I guess – umm… you can call me. Four in the morning or whatever. We need to talk. Bye.” The phone clicks, indicating the end of the message. 

Clarke’s heart still hasn’t stopped it’s incessant thumping in her chest. It’s been too long since she’s heard Lexa’s voice. She didn’t realize just how badly she missed her until this moment. Clarke noticed how frantic Lexa’s voicemail sounded. It’s like her friend desperately needed to talk to her. But about what?

She must be smiling goofily, because Wells stares at her with a puzzled look. “Who was that? Oh, please tell me that it was that new guy you’ve been seeing. He’s gorgeous.”

“You can have him.” She laughs. “We only went on one date and it was atrocious.”

“Send me his number.” Wells snickers. “For real though, who was that from?”

“Oh. It was Lexa. Lexa Woods.” Clarke feels as if she hasn’t spoken that name in so long. She still gets a sensation of warmth throughout her body saying it.

“Wait. Your Lexa?”

She nods her head. “She isn’t mine. She’s my best friend.” Wells throws his hand over his chest dramatically, feigning hurt over Clarke’s words. Clarke rolls her eyes, because Wells knows how much Lexa means to her. She doesn’t have to explain. “She sounded very urgent.”

Wells hums into his glass of wine, taking in the different emotions that seem to be taking over his blonde friend in front of him. Clarke doesn’t notice the inquisitive looks that he gives her. “Remind me of her.” He tells her, although he doesn’t need any reminder. He only wants to see the way that Clarke lights up when she talks about her. She’s always told him that she and Lexa were just friends. Best friends, really, and even though they were together intimately for a few weeks in the beginning, Clarke got restless. She wasn’t used to being tied down to one person. They agreed to be friends; little did they know that they would become the best.

Clarke sighs and picks up her glass to drink what was left of her wine before getting the waiter’s attention to come refill her glass. “Umm… sophomore year at NYU, we had this insanely salacious month or so…”

“Insanely salacious?” Wells grins, interrupting her story and Clarke glares at him. “I’m sorry. Continue please.”

“What can I say? We were practically still teenagers.” Clarke shrugs. “And she’s drop dead gorgeous.” She adds and doesn’t miss the knowing look that her friend across from her gives her. “Anyway, I think that I broke her heart. When I ended things.”

“And why did you end things again?”

“I wasn’t the type to stay with one person.”

“Do you regret it? Wells asks and he’s not entirely sure if he will even get an answer. Clarke has always been very secretive about her love life.

Without any hesitation in her voice she answers him. “Yes.” Wells almost chokes on his food and Clarke eyes him up and down.

“What?” His tone still shocked from her admission. This is the first that he’s hearing of this. It’s been years since Clarke and Lexa were together intimately, but they’ve stayed the best of friends. He doesn’t know how Clarke has done it.

“I think that I always kind of regretted it, but it wasn’t until the last few times that I’ve gotten to see her that I desperately regretting doing it.”

“What did she say?”

“Then?”

“Yes. Then and when you told her that you regretted it.”

“Well, then she told me that the ‘thing that made her want to cry is she was losing the best friend that she ever had.’ I cried for maybe the third time in my entire life, kissed her, and we’ve been best friends ever since. I told her that I wasn’t going anywhere in that department. It was weird at first, but it got better. And as for me telling her that I regretted it, I didn’t.”

“Excuse me?”

“I haven’t told her that I regretted breaking things off with her.”

“And why the hell not?” Wells asks, his voice a little louder than deemed necessary in their present location.

“It was years ago, Wells. I can assure you that she doesn’t feel that way about me anymore.”

“You’ll never know until you say something.” He replies and gets a shrug of shoulders from his annoying, blonde friend.

Clarke lets out a dreamy sigh, staring off into space and thinking about what could have been. Could she actually grow up the courage to tell Lexa what she really felt for her? Or was it too late? Did she need to just keep it bottled up inside and remain friends? “We’ve seen each other through everything.” She’s still in a trance, in her own little private world. Wells can tell. It’s almost as if she doesn’t know that she’s speaking out loud, but he listens because that’s what good friends do. “Losing jobs, losing parents, losing lovers.” Clarke sighs yet again. “We’ve travelled all over. The best times of my life. Drinking and talking, even if it’s just over the phone or on Skype.”

“This is so moving.” Wells teases her, but he mostly is serious. He’s never seen Clarke look this way. “Are you kindred spirits?”

Clarke sputters out a laugh. “Hell no. Lexa is nothing like me. She’s like you actually.” Wells hums as he reaches over and sticks a fork in one of Clarke’s scallops before eating it. This earns him a glare, but Clarke says nothing about it. “I remember this one night in Nashville like six years ago. She takes a razor out of her overnight bag…cuts her finger.” She’s leaning forward, getting excited and nostalgic as she remembers the night so vividly. “She takes my hand and does the same to me.”

“Oh, God. I’m going to be sick.” Wells jokes.

Clarke ignores him. “She says, ‘Swear… when we’re twenty-eight, if we’ve never married, we marry each other.’” Clarke chuckles. “We never talked about that again. I have no idea what made me think of that. I guess I think about that night every time that I think of Lexa.”

Wells takes yet another sip of his wine, that the waiter had just filled. “You’ll be twenty-eight in like three weeks, right?” Clarke’s looks up to meet his deep brown eyes with a look of confusion written all over her face. “How old is she?”

The blonde across from him sits there for a moment, going over what her friend had just asked. A timid chuckle falls from her lips. “You think?” She asks, sarcastically.

“Hey.” Wells smiles, throwing his hands up in faux surrender. “You said that she sounded urgent on the voicemail.” The small smile falls from her face, and turns quickly into a perplexed frown. Wells words are flying through her mind at the speed of light. It’s all too much. It’s giving her a migraine. He picks his glass back up and chuckles at how nervous Clarke seems now that he’s put the thoughts into her head.

“No.” Clarke practically whispers. It’s so quiet that Wells barely catches it.

“Cheers.” He says as he tips his wine glass back. Clarke does the same before signaling the waiter again.

 

//

 

“Hey. It’s Lexa. Clarke, it’s been months, huh? Well, uhh… I can’t wait to talk to you. I’m in Chicago staying at the Langham hotel. I guess – umm… you can call me. Four in the morning or whatever. We need to talk. Bye.”

Clarke was sitting on an ottoman in the middle of the living space in her New York apartment, biting anxiously on her manicured nails, and listening to Lexa’s voicemail on repeat. Once she had gotten home from her dinner with Wells, she didn’t have the energy to change clothes. She was too hung up in her own thoughts. Clarke sat there, alone in the dark, in a pair of skinny jeans and a bra; only managing to remove her shirt before she started having her meltdown. She hadn’t yet worked up the courage to call her best friend. She has no idea why she’s so nervous to talk to Lexa.

Actually, she does.

Clarke can already feel the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. If the sound of Lexa’s voice on a message on a loop can do that to her, then she’s nervous of the buffoon that she will more than likely make herself out to be when she actually does have a conversation with her. Clarke is positive that’s she’s going to have to visit Vicky within the next few days. Her manicurist. She’s going to be pissed.

“Come on, Clarke.” The blonde headed woman says aloud, attempting to give herself a pep talk of sorts. “It’s Lexa. Your best friend. Just tell her that you want to see her and you can go from there. You have to tell her.”

She’s up now, walking around her apartment at a mildly brisk pace, clutching onto her cell phone tightly. Clarke decides that maybe she needs a pep talk from someone other than her delusional self.

CLARKE (11:23PM) – Wells! I’m freaking the fuck out!

WELLS (11:24PM) – Of course you are.

Clarke can practically hear his laughter now.

CLARKE (11:24PM) – Don’t be an ass. What do I do?

WELLS (11:25PM) – First of all, calm down. You don’t want to freak her out first thing by you having a panic attack over the phone.

WELLS (11:25PM) – Secondly, just talk to her, Clarke. Like you normally would. You’re best friends. Lexa would want you to be honest with her.

CLARKE (11:27PM) – You don’t even know her.

WELLS (11:27PM) – Oh. So she wouldn’t want you to be honest with her?

God. Clarke is such a bumbling idiot when she’s nervous. It’s weird though. She hasn’t been this nervous in like… ever. Clarke Griffin doesn’t get nervous. Especially around gorgeous women. Especially around her best friend. Especially around Lexa.

CLARKE (11:28PM) – Shit. You’re right.

WELL (11:31PM) – Of course I am.

CLARKE (11:32PM) – Ok. I can do this. Wish me luck.

WELLS (11:36PM) – Good luck, my friend. 

WELLS (11:36PM) – Let me know how it goes.

CLARKE (11:37PM) – Thanks. You’re amazing.

Clarke looks away from her phone, and brings her hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose, taking a shaky, deep breath in the process. She walks the short distance over to her bedroom and stands in front of the vanity mirror, searching her own blue eyes and telling herself mentally, once again, that she can do this. The two voices in her head were having a battle of wits and strategy it seemed.

One was saying, ‘Is Lexa calling about their pinky swear from that night all of those years ago?’

The other was fighting against it. ‘Of course she isn’t. That girl has completely forgotten about that stupid, insignificant moment.’

“I’m going crazy.” Clarke says aloud to herself, once again and then lets out a slightly nervous chuckle. She finally thinks ‘to hell with it’ and calls the number of the hotel, not knowing if it was Lexa’s cell phone that she had called from earlier. After two rings, the concierge answers with a polite, but firm voice.

“Good evening. Thank you for calling the Langham Hotel.”

Clarke clears her throat and begins to speak. “Yes – umm… hi. I’m – I’m calling for Alexandria Woods.” She knows that more than likely Lexa was checked in under her full name since that’s what all of her documentation states. “But since it’s so late… do you mind if I leave a message for – “

“Just one moment please.” The male voice on the other end of the line interrupts her babbling, and clearly connects her to another line because it starts ringing again and on the fourth ring, right before Clarke almost hangs up, that all too familiar voice answers.

“He – Hello?” Lexa’s voice was tired; Clarke could hear it. She hopes that she didn’t wake her up. “Hello?” Lexa answers again, and Clarke forgot that she was suppose to speak. She was too enamored by that voice. The one that she dreams about probably way too often to admit.

Clarke pulls herself together and when she finally remembers that she’s talking to her best friend, she calms down and tries to think of something stupid to say because she and Lexa would always crack up at some of the silliest nonsense. Lexa has the best sense of humor. “Hello…” Clarke finally answers, in her most sultry voice. She is trying so hard not to laugh as she imagines the look of sheer terror that she is sure Lexa is sporting right about now. “You’ve been enrolled in the ‘Obscene Caller of the Month Club’.”

Almost immediately, Lexa giggles and that sound melts Clarke’s heart. It’s one of her favorite things in the world; that and actually seeing it happen. “Hey, beautiful.” Lexa says softly, her voice still tired from possible sleep, but Clarke can tell that she’s trying to wake herself up to talk to her now. “Oh my gosh. It’s so good to hear your voice.”

“Did ya miss me?” Clarke smiles, and she can’t help how wide it is. Lexa sounds as excited to talk to Clarke, as Clarke is to talk to her.

“So much.” Clarke can hear the smile in her voice if that’s possible. “I’ve been calling you for over a month.”

“What?” The blonde headed woman furrows her brows, causing her nose to wrinkle up in confusion. “Lex, I swear I haven’t had any missed calls from you. Have you been leaving voicemails?”

“No. This evening’s was the first.”

“You must not have wanted to talk to me too bad.” Clarke teases.

Lexa let’s out a sigh loud enough for Clarke to be able to hear on her end of the call. “You know that that’s not true. I just imagined that you were too busy.”

Clarke feels a small pang of hurt in her chest from Lexa even suggesting that. “You know that I’m never too busy for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Lexa starts to tease right back. “Where have all my voice messages and missed calls been then, huh?”

“Hey!” Clarke laughs and throws her hands up, holding her phone to her ear with her own shoulder as if Lexa can see her. “I did try to call. Several times, actually. Clearly, I had the wrong number.”

“Clearly.” Lexa retorts. “You couldn’t have gotten mine from Octavia or Bellamy?”

“I haven’t spoken to either of the Blake’s in several months, so no…”

“Is something wrong, Clarke?” Lexa sounds a little concerned, and Clarke doesn’t know whether it’s because Clarke hasn’t been speaking with any of their friends or what.

“Not really, no. Just a rough day at work.” Clarke sighs, sitting down on the edge of her bed and kicking her legs up under her.

“How many people hit on you today for the chance of a good critique?” Lexa teases and Clarke actually laughs out loud. Of course Lexa would know that that’s what happened.

“How did you know?”

Lexa is still chuckling, more than likely from Clarke’s loud outburst of laughter. “It’s you. Duh.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarke smiles, knowing full well that her best friend cannot see her, but oh how she wishes that Lexa were right beside her on this bed.

“Umm… you’re a gorgeous woman in power.” Lexa replies like it’s the most obvious thing in the entire world and that Clarke should be smacked down for not clearly seeing that. “Men like that.”

“Just men?”

“Maybe a few women too.” Shit. Was Lexa flirting with her or is this just how they’ve always spoken with each other? Just a couple of best friends using their own witty banter to make their conversations entertaining? God. Clarke can’t remember. She’s so stuck in her own head, worried about her feelings for Lexa… or really Lexa’s feelings for her. Lexa speaks again, breaking Clarke out of her own thoughts. Thank God. “So… are you just averaging like thirty days to return calls or what?”

Clarke shrugs with a grin. “Maybe. It’s less when it’s you.”

Lexa chuckles for a moment and there’s another moment of silence before she speaks. “Look, Clarke, I have to ask you something. Something really, really important.” Clarke feels like her heart might have just stopped, or her breathing just became quicker… she doesn’t know. All she knows is that she suddenly feels sick with nerves. “And if you turn me down… I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“Wait.” Clarke almost interrupts, surprising herself in the meantime. She stands up and starts to walk around her bedroom. “If I could just tell you something first…” She takes a deep breath, well actually more than just one. She almost feels like hyperventilating, but she won’t. “Umm…this is probably going to crack you up so much. Like really crack you up.” Shit. Once again… a nervous Clarke is a babbling Clarke. “Anyways, I was thinking about you and I remembered that one crazy, insane night that we spent together in Nashville like a thousand years ago.” She spins around from where she stands in the middle of her bedroom and heads back over to her bed, not quite yet sitting down. “You probably don’t even remember it, but – “ 

“Are you kidding me?” Lexa’s voice is soft and low and it makes Clarke feel all sorts of things that she should definitely not be feeling for her best friend. “I think about that night all the time.”

Swoon.

Once again, Lexa freaking Woods causes Clarke’s heart to melt in just a few simple words. “You do?” Clarke’s voice was soft now too, matching that of the other woman’s on the phone.

It almost sounded like Lexa wanted to continue talking about that particular memory and there was a pause. “But that’s not why I called.” Just as those first few words had made Clarke’s heart melt, these ones almost broke it.

“Oh.” Clarke says, trying to find the right words in her damned, lovesick mind to form an actual coherent sentence. “It’s not.” It wasn’t a question. Clarke closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in.

“I called because I met someone.” Was all that Lexa said, and Clarke may be a stupid, lovesick fool, but she’s almost positive that there was a bit of hesitancy or regret or something negative in her best friend’s tone of voice.

Clarke moves to finally take a seat back on the edge of her king-sized bed; all of a sudden the massive bed felt even lonelier. No… no. That can’t be right. Maybe Lexa doesn’t mean that she met someone someone. Maybe she just means that she met a new friend. Yeah… and she felt that she should tell Clarke.

God, Clarke. Idiot.

“Oh… That – That’s great, that’s great.” She tries to smile, or at least make it seem as if she were smiling. “I mean you haven’t really seen anybody since what’s-her-face, have you?” Clarke tries to joke. She really hopes that it came off as a joke and not a ‘I’m jealous and in love with you’ type of way.

It must have come across as a joke because Lexa chuckles for a split second before speaking again. “No. You don’t understand. I’ve – I don’t think that I’ve ever felt this way about anyone before.”

‘You don’t think?’ Clarke thinks to herself and she just wishes that she could work up the nerve to actually vocalize it to her friend.

Lexa lets out yet another nervous chuckle. Clarke is starting to think that maybe… just maybe, Lexa isn’t really that sure about this new someone. Or maybe she’s just scared to tell Clarke. “I mean… she’s all wrong for me.” Lexa tries to joke, but her voice is soft and timid.

“Sounds like you’re off to a great start.” Clarke says sarcastically, trying her damnedest again to throw out her best fake laugh that she has. She feels like she can’t sit still. She’s too fidgety, so she gets up again and paces back and forth, back and forth in the middle of her bedroom.

“She’s a junior at the University of Chicago.” Lexa continues and Clarke really just wants her to stop, her heart is broken enough as it is, but she doesn’t say anything. Lexa sounds at least a little bit excited, and she’s been through a lot in her short lifetime, so Clarke absolutely won’t ruin this moment for her.

‘It’s just a small crush.’ Clarke thinks to herself once again and she’s really starting to think that she’s going maybe just a little bit insane. This must be what being in love feels like. She’s not too sure that she ever has been before Lexa. Clarke’s always been more of a ‘hit it and quit it’ type of girl and Lexa has never judged her for it.

“She’s twenty. Her name’s Costia.” 

Twenty? Holy shit. Robbing the cradle there, Lex? 

“I think that you’ll love her.”

Doubt it.

“She’s beautiful… and her parents are like these billionaires. They own the Cubs and some sort of satellite empire. And you know how I’ve always been super uncomfortable around rich people.” Lexa is talking quickly. Clarke knows this to be one of her nervous ticks.

Clarke is still pacing around in circles, and feeling very dizzy all of a sudden. She feels her hand sweaty against the warmth of the cell phone in her palm. She runs a quick hand through her long, blonde locks and let’s out a sigh, but she’s sure to hold the phone away from her mouth so Lexa doesn’t hear it.

“But… they’re not really like that.” Lexa continues. “They seem to be such wonderful people, really.”

Something clicks in Clarke’s mind just then. Something that she didn’t pick up on a second ago. “So – umm… so you’ve met her parents?” Clarke brings her fingers to her mouth again and starts to bite on her already chipped nails.

Vicky is so going to kill her.

“Yeah.” Lexa answers softly, her tone still that way as if she thinks Clarke is going to freak out on her or something. Why the hell would she think that? Clarke hums, letting Lexa know that she heard her answer. Clarke can’t form any words or thoughts at the moment. She feels even sicker than before. “Clarke…” The way that Lexa says her name sends shivers down Clarke’s spine, and not the good kind. “We’re getting married. This Sunday.”

Silence.

More silence.

So much silence.

Clarke’s hand is on her chest and she doesn’t notice it, but her hand is gripping at the material of her shirt as if she can’t breath. As if she is trying to help her heart break free so that she doesn’t have to deal with these feelings anymore. Married? What the fuck?

“He – Hello?” Lexa’s voice is almost scared, and confused after the long, silent pause. Clarke moves to sit on her bed once more.

“Lexa… Lex – “ As she sits down on the edge, and before she can get her best friend’s name out of her mouth again, she completely misses the bed and falls to the floor with a loud thump. Clarke quickly rises up, but she’s still sitting in the floor beside her bed, one hand running through her hair repeatedly. She almost just wants to rip it all out. She can only imagine what a complete and utter fool she must look like right now. Sitting in the floor of her room in nothing but a pair of skinny jeans and her black, lacey bra, her hair a hot damn mess and she’s sure that her eye makeup is smudge, making her look like a raccoon. When Clarke speaks again, her voice is almost hectic. “Lexa. It – it’s Wednesday night. How can you possibly be getting married on Sunday?” Clarke’s voice is breathless. She realizes this, but she can’t bring herself to care now.

“Well… I mean I – it all starts tomorrow, actually.” Lexa finally speaks and Clarke wonders if she can hear the desperation in Clarke’s voice. 

Please. Please don’t do this, Lex.

“It’s one of these big four-day wedding weekends that everyone’s into. It’s not really my cup of tea… but it’s what she wants.” Lexa continues.

‘What about what you want?’ Clarke thinks to herself.

“There’s like a billion people flying in from everywhere. Like New York, Cali, Taiwan, Italy… all her parent’s work partners I’m sure.” Lexa is rambling now. Clarke also knows this to be one of her nervous ticks.

“Don’t you work this weekend?” Clarke asks and immediately realizes what a dumbass question that was. “I mean… is that responsible?”

“Well, I mean… the Cubs are playing at home this weekend and my boss is letting me do a couple of profile stories on some of the rookies this year. Wait…” Lexa chuckles a bit, but she knows that Clarke isn’t joking. “What do you mean ‘is that responsible’? Taking the weekend off to get married?”

There’s yet another time of silence in their conversation. Clarke is still sitting on the floor, nibbling away at what’s left of her nails.

‘Note to self: Call Vicky in first thing in the morning.’

Clarke literally feels like she’s about to vomit. She’s racking her brain for something… anything that she can say that might sway Lexa’s thoughts. 

After what feels like an eternity… an eternity of miserable, uncomfortable silence, Lexa speaks once more. “Clarke…” She breathes and the way that she sounds breaks Clarke’s heart even more if that’s possible. Clarke can’t quite put her finger on what it is though. “I’m scared.”

Clarke’s chest is heaving with her labored breaths and she feels tears in her eyes. They’re stinging and she uses the back of her hand to wipe at them and groans internally when she sees the black smudge across her hand. She feels a single tear roll down one of her cheeks and takes a deep breath trying to steady herself… trying to find anything she can to ground herself. “Maybe we should talk about this.” She finally says, her voice cracking and breaking, making her sound like a fool yet again.

“I need you.” Lexa breathes out and the shattered pieces of Clarke’s heart seem to fall to the pit of her stomach and it stings. God does it sting. All she wants to do is be sick because she knows that Lexa doesn’t mean that she actually needs her. Not in the way that Clarke needs Lexa. “If you can’t come and hold my hand… I’m never going to get through this. Please come.”

Silence.

Clarke throws her hand over her eyes, trying to hold back more tears that seem to be aching to run free.

“Please.” Lexa whispers again.

Clarke groans and this time she doesn’t care if Lexa hears her.

“Oh man… I can’t wait for you to meet her.” Her best friend comments. Clarke thinks that maybe Lexa is not only trying to pump Clarke up about this marriage, but maybe herself as well. At least… that’s what Clarke is hoping.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa reunion. Clarke meets Costia for the first time. Clarke gets stuck with Costia for the first time. A lot of shit goes down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Let me know what you think in the comments! I hope that you guys enjoy! :)
> 
> Love you all!

The traffic on the way to the airport was ludicrous, naturally. They were in New York after all, and Clarke was riding in the passenger seat of Wells’ Audi. He was going as fast as he possibly could, but to Clarke, that still wasn’t quite fast enough. She was frantic. No. More than frantic. She was out of control, overwrought with a mess of emotions. 

“Wells… please hurry.”

The poor guy was a nervous wreck, weaving in and out of lanes of traffic. “Clarke, I’m going as fast as I can. You’re making me extremely nervous.”

“Sorry. It’s just – “ She doesn’t know what it is. She’s so excited to see Lexa after months, but yet she’s nervous and afraid at the same time. How could Clarke let this happen? She knows that she should have said something before now. Typical Clarke. Always the procrastinator. Actually… now that she thinks about it, this is most definitely not ‘typical Clarke’ behavior. Clarke Griffin doesn’t do feelings. When she realized that she was in love with her best friend, she thought that she could just push her feelings aside and not screw up their relationship. What they have is good. Was it worth the friendship to risk? Clarke let’s out a groan and leans back in the leather seat that she’s sitting in, bringing her hands up to cover her burning eyes.

“What?” Wells takes a second to glance over at the blonde and ask.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Clarke…” He rolls his eyes, but there’s a hint of a smile there; Clarke can see it through the cracks in her fingers. “Breathe. Lexa loves you.”

“I know she loves me.” Clarke brings her hands down and folds them in her lap. Wells notices the incessant tapping of her feet, causing her knees to jump up and down. “She’s just not in love with me.”

“And how do you know that?” Her friend asks, although it’s more rhetorical than anything. “You don’t. You can’t possibly know that. Not until you talk to her about your feelings.”

“But – “

“No ‘buts’, Clarke.” Wells speaks firmly as they pull up in a parking spot at LaGuardia. “You’re doing this. If you want the girl… then you have to do this. Now come on.” He gets out of his car and walks to the drunk to grab Clarke’s suitcase. She had her carry on bag up front with her. Clarke follows closely behind Wells, his pace is almost just as frenzied as hers. She smiles because she knows how much Wells cares for her, and he wants all of these good things to come her way.

“Are you sure that you’re okay, Clarke? We can stop and get a few drinks in you and think about this if you want. We can get you set up on a later flight to Chicago.”

Clarke begins to shake her head furiously; her hands are almost trembling at her sides with all of her pent up energy and nerves. “No. I’m a busy woman.” Clarke says, making Wells stop in his tracks, but Clarke keeps going, heading towards her terminal like a damn cheetah. Wells quickly resumes, catching up to the blonde in front of him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ve got like four days to break up a wedding, steal the bride’s… bride, and I - I don’t have a single fucking clue on how to do it.” Clarke’s voice is shaky and weak and Wells can’t help the chuckle that falls from his lips, earning himself a glorious glare from Clarke. “Shut up. This is serious.”

“Clarke…”

“She treasured me for nine damn years. Me!” Clarke yells, poking herself in the chest hard and picking up her pace, if that’s even possible.

“I can see why.” Wells teases, but Clarke ignores him. “Clarke, you’re running.” Wells is behind her, and until this point, he’s been rolling her suitcase, but now he’s had to pick it up and carry it with him, afraid of the wheels melting off from their near sprint. “We’re running, Clarke.”

Naturally, she’s not listening to him.

“She’s known Lexa for like what? A day?” Clarke stops in her tracks and turns to face Wells. “Okay…” Clarke is waving her hands in the air like a mad woman and Wells is looking around, catching all of the glimpses that they’re receiving from passers by. “Plus!” Clarke yells again. “This girl… Costia!” Another yell. “Is a freaking billionaire, and apparently she’s all around fucking perfect.”

“I highly doubt that she’s perfect, Clarke.”

“Hey!” She points her finger at her friend, causing Wells to laugh and Clarke throws him an almost playful glare. “So don’t go feeling all bad and shit for Miss…” Clarke looks around, and Wells wonders what she’s looking for. Possibly more words. “Preteen Illinois!” Of course it’s another yell. Clarke takes her bag out of Wells’ arms and holds onto it tightly. The blonde looks around for a little bit longer and takes a deep breath to try and steady herself. She looks up and stares Wells in the eyes, and a small, sad smile crosses over his face. “I can’t lose her, Wells.” 

Wells wraps his arms around the small frame of Clarke’s body, bringing her in for a tight embrace. He holds her for a while, trying to calm her down. It seems to be working, at least for the moment. “You’ve got this, Clarke.” He says softly, placing a kiss to the top of her head. “Bring her back.” Clarke pulls back with a smile and a lifted brow. “What? I’ve got to meet this sports writer that has the mighty Clarke Griffin in such a tizzy.” 

Clarke smiles once more and leans up to place a kiss to Wells’ cheek. “I’ve got to go.” She says softly, turning with her bags and walking into the terminal. “Wish me luck!” She yells over her shoulder.

 

//

 

“Business or pleasure?” An unfamiliar voice says out of the corner of Clarke’s eye. She finally made it to her seat. A window seat of course, and they’re in the air. She’s not always been big on flying. Clarke usually only flies with Lexa. They’ve been everywhere together. L.A., Vancouver, Miami, Paris, London. It never really mattered where they visited, as long as they were in each other’s company.

“I’m sorry?” She turns slightly to reply to the elderly woman sitting to her right.

“Why are you flying to Chicago?” The woman asks politely. Her smile is bright and filled with joy, and just the sight warms Clarke’s heart, causing her to just take a breath and relax. 

“Oh… umm…” She has to think to herself. Truth be told, it’s not really pleasurable, what she’s doing, but its not really business either. “A little bit of both.” Clarke decides on with a small grin.

“Ahh… well good for you. I hope that you have a nice trip.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiles again. “You do the same.” It’s not ten minutes later, when Clarke leans over to ask the woman something to pass the time by, that she notices that the woman is asleep. Clarke turns back to look out the window at the bright blue sky and let’s out a sigh. After a few minutes, her phone dings with an iMessage. Luckily, she was quick to sign onto the plane’s free Wi-Fi so that she could receive such messages. She smiles ear to ear when she sees whom it’s from.

LEXA (8:23AM) – Can’t wait to see you.

Clarke really wants to send back, ‘I wish it could be under better circumstances’, but she’s not too sure that Lexa would like that.

CLARKE (8:24AM) – Me too. I miss you.

LEXA (8:24AM) – One more hour.

LEXA (8:27AM) – I miss you too.

Clarke smiles once more, and her heart swells. She absolutely can’t wait to see her best friend. It’s been too long and Clarke has so, so much that she wants to tell her. She hopes that when it comes down to it, she’ll have the guts to tell Lexa how she truly feels.

 

//

 

Clarke’s flight lands at O’Hare in Chicago and she quickly and nervously saunters off of the plane and into the airport. She tightens the grip on her carry on bag that’s strap is hung over her shoulder. She fidgets with the silver watch, which she dons on her wrist, as she walks. Her nerves are starting to get the better of her once more, in the anticipation of seeing Lexa and meeting her… fiancé. Clarke literally cringes at the word. 

The airport is jam packed with people going every which way. It’s not near as populous as LaGuardia was, but still, all of these people constantly elbowing and running into her makes her nerves that much worse. Clarke turns a corner and walks into a much larger area of the airport where people are usually reuniting with loved ones and friends, or both. It’s also crowded. Clarke looks around everywhere, walking forward at a slow pace. It’s a definite opposite of what she had done in New York. She wonders if Lexa is even here yet. She’s starting to think that maybe she should just text her friend and tell her that she will just catch a cab to her hotel and she’ll see her later, but then the crowd parts, almost as if it were mean to happen that way. Just for them. 

Clarke sees Lexa before Lexa sees her. The smile on Clarke’s face begins and spreads like wildfire across her features and down into her chest where her heart lies. Lexa looks gorgeous of course. More than gorgeous, but Clarke isn’t too sure that there are enough words in the English language to do the woman justice. Lexa’s long legs are tucked into a pair of dark blue skinny jeans. She has on a baggy, low dipped grey shirt with a white and navy button-up opened up on top of it. Lexa’s long brunette curls are down and flowing freely over her shoulders. Clarke sees Lexa run her long, slender fingers through her hair, almost nervously, as she girl looks around for her. It only takes another second and when the crowds part just a little bit more, Lexa finally sees Clarke, and Clarke starts to think that maybe she should have worn sunglasses because damn… Lexa’s smile is so bright. It’s absolutely breathtaking and Clarke’s heart is hammering a hole through her chest. They probably look like the two biggest idiots in there; just standing about fifty feet from each other gawking and smiling and… pining in Clarke’s case. It’s like telepathically they tell each other ‘hi’ and they slowly begin walking towards each other. They quickly become restless because they both start running, Clarke completely dropping her bag in the floor, until they run smack into each other. There faces colliding a little bit, causing their noses to push and brush together. They both grunt and then begin to laugh. Their smiles are still wide and Clarke’s cheeks begin to hurt, but so does Lexa’s. They both seem not to care. It’s like they’re the only two people in the entire building. “Oww…” Lexa says with a laugh and brings one hand up to her nose, causing Clarke to laugh more.

Clarke’s hands are placed lightly on Lexa’s shoulders and Lexa’s free hand rests on Clarke’s waist. The blonde is starting to wonder if they’ve always been this handsy with each other, or if she’s just thinking about it now because she’s in love with her. They grin and stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. They’re both lost in each other’s eyes. The blues of the ocean meeting the greens of the earth, causing a tidal wave of emotions to run through Clarke. She starts to hope that Lexa feels the same thing. “Hi.” Clarke says softly.

“Hi.” Lexa grins a dopey grin. One that Clarke happens to love… damnit. Clarke really hopes that Lexa can’t feel the pounding in her chest. That would be embarrassing, but she could always blame it on the running. Lexa knows that Clarke freaking hates to run. “I can’t believe that I’m doing this.” The brunette says, and her tone is still quiet, matching Clarke’s. It’s almost as if Lexa wants it to be just them there in that moment too.

“What?” Clarke smiles, turning her head slightly in confusion.

“Getting married.” Lexa’s face finally goes stoic, and her chest is rising and falling in time with Clarke’s own as if she too is out of breath. Clarke likes to call this look ‘The Lexa’.

“I can’t believe it either.” The blonde replies. She hopes that Lexa doesn’t catch on to how tragically devastated she is over the current situation. Their eyes are still caught up in each other, both of them afraid to look away. As if one of them is dreaming and the other’s not real. Lexa has forgotten how it felt to be in Clarke’s arms and Clarke’s body feels as if it’s on fire just from Lexa’s hold on her waist. This is most definitely not feelings that best friends have for each other. Lexa slowly removes her hands from Clarke’s waist, not catching the pout that falls from Clarke’s lips. Lexa turns around as if to show Clarke something, and walking up to the both of them are one of the most gorgeous girls that Clarke thinks she’s ever seen. Besides Lexa of course. No one in this world holds a candle to the beauty that is Lexa Woods.

Costia.

Shit.

Clarke’s nerves are automatically back. They must have disappeared while she was wrapped up in Lexa. Costia looks just as nervous… but why? The other girl is a little taller than Clarke and slimmer. Her skin is by far darker than Clarke’s, probably from her daddy paying for her to vacation in ‘wherever the hell she wants’ beach.

‘Calm down, Clarke.’ She tells herself mentally.

Costia moves forward just a little bit, using her hands to sleek down the front of her gorgeous, clearly designer, pink dress. Clarke groans internally. Ugh…pink. Lexa freaking hates pink, but of course Miss Preteen Illinois wear pink. That happens to be Clarke’s new favorite name for Costia. She knows that she has no reason to dislike Costia the way that she does, other than the fact that in four days time she’ll be married to Clarke’s best friend and the love of her life. It’s like time slows when Costia gets closer, the girl’s nerves seem to quickly disappear and a huge smile forms on her face. Clarke can tell that it’s clearly faked. The blonde doesn’t notice the way that Lexa is looking from Costia to Clarke, from Clarke to Costia, as if she were waiting to see which one would speak first.

Clarke is eyeing the girl from head to toe, trying to size her up. ‘How has this girl…that’s right, I said girl’, landed such an amazing woman as Lexa?’ Clarke thinks to herself and for a moment wishes that Lexa could read her mind. Clarke knows that no one will ever be good enough for Lexa. Not by Clarke’s standards. Not even herself, but she wants to be the one to make Lexa happy.

Costia is almost right on top of them now, she’s walking faster and Clarke sticks out her hand with a small, faked, grin, but Costia doesn’t stop. She pulls Clarke in for a tight hug, startling the blonde and making her feel even sicker than she already did. Clarke can see Lexa over Costia’s shoulder and Lexa is smiling a little as she watches her ‘two girls’ meet for the first time. Clarke really hopes that she didn’t let the grunt out that she really wanted to when Costia touched her. The girl is still holding tight, her black hair almost smothering Clarke. “Oh my gosh!” Costia squeals, and Clarke decides right then and there that she doesn’t like her. She sounds like a damned valley girl. Someone who she and Lexa would make fun of. Clarke has to hold back the eye roll that she really wants to let loose. “Everything is going to be perfect now!” The girl says loudly, right in Clarke’s ear, before pulling back and keeping her hands tight on Clarke’s shoulders. “Oh my gosh!” Again, really?

“Oh my gosh…” Clarke deadpans, earning a small glare from Lexa, but Clarke notices the corners of her mouth turn up just a hair.

“All I’ve heard from Lexa is ‘Clarke this’ and ‘Clarke that’.” Costia grinned, making Clarke’s insides roll. The way that she said it came off as extremely annoyed. Had Lexa really been talking about her that much? Clarke smiles and this time, it’s a real one, but only because she’s thinking of Lexa talking about her nonstop to Costia. Clarke looks over to Lexa to gauge her reaction, and the brunette shrugs with a grin.

‘I wonder what would happen if I just yelled ‘I love you’ really loud right now and kissed her.’ Clarke thinks mentally. ‘Better not.’

“I feel like we are going to become the best of friends, Clarke. Like sisters.” 

Yeah right.

Costia giggles and Clarke does too, but it’s full of nerves and a little bit of anger and a lot of jealousy.

“I have a monstrous favor to ask you, Clarke.”

“I’m sorry?” Clarke asks, lifting a brow and glancing quickly over to her best friend, and then back to Costia. The girl is almost literally right up in Clarke’s face.

“You see,” Costia starts, looping an arm through one of Clarke’s and she starts to guide Clarke along. Lexa, behind them, quickly grabs Clarke’s bag from the floor where she had dropped it earlier in her mad dash. “My best friend, Anya, shattered her pelvis doing…well, you really don’t want to know what she was doing.” Costia giggles and Clarke finds it weird how her favorite sound in the world is Lexa’s giggle and her new worst favorite sound in the world is Costia’s. Clarke glances back at Lexa and the brunette shrugs. The grip that Costia has on Clarke’s arm as she pulls her along is firm and a little uncomfortable.

“Umm… what was the favor?” Clarke asks, a bit of bite to her question and she feels her bag hit her in the ass. She knows that Lexa swung it at her to tell her to behave. Clarke doesn’t bother to turn around to look at her.

“Be my maid of honor?”

“What?” Clarke pauses right there, bringing Costia to a halt as well. Lexa almost runs slam into Clarke from where she was walking right behind her. Clarke’s eyes are wide. She looks to her best friend and notices that Lexa’s are too. ‘She didn’t know.’ Clarke thinks. “Your made of honor? I don’t even know you.” Clarke utters, and stuffs her hands down into the pockets of her black slacks. Her hands don’t stay there long though because now she’s not only nervous, she’s confused. Clarke puts one hand on her hip and the other starts to run crazily through her blonde locks. “Lexa?” She turns to her friend, her blue eyes slamming into green ones again. Clarke has to clench her eyes shut for a second, from the feeling that looking into Lexa’s gives her. “What is this?” She asks as nicely and as calmly as she can.

“I - I don’t know.” Lexa replies, shakily and then looks over to her fiancé. “Babe? What is this?” Clarke wants to puke at Lexa calling another woman a pet name. 

“What? I can’t ask your best friend to be my made of honor? I told you, Clarke,” Costia says, now looking at Clarke with her eyes a little narrower. “I want us to be the best of friends. Why not start here?”

“Uhh… shouldn’t you promote one of your bridesmaids or something? Or at least someone that you’ve known for more than five minutes?” Lexa clears her throat. Oh right, Clarke… your attitude. Get it in check.

“I have only one bridesmaid.” Costia starts to answer. “She’s my cousin. Her name’s Raven and I’m pretty sure that she doesn’t like me.” Costia laughs. 

‘I wonder why.’ Clarke thinks.

“Lexa has one too. I believe that she’s a mutual friend of both of yours.” Costia mumbles, as if she’s mad that Clarke and Lexa share mutual friends. “Octavia? Yeah… I think that’s her name. Still haven’t met her.” Costia looks at Lexa almost as if it’s her fault.

“Costia…” Lexa begins. “I – uh…”

“Oh, no.” Lexa’s fiancé practically whispers, looking back and forth between Clarke and Lexa. “Shoot… I’m such an idiot. Of course Lexa was going to ask you to be her maid of honor.”

Lexa’s eyes widen a bit, although she had wanted to ask Clarke, she just didn’t know how to go about it. She wasn’t even entirely sure that Clarke was very excited about this wedding in the first place. Clarke’s never really been for weddings or love in general. Clarke looks to Lexa as if to say, ‘Please save me.’ Lexa must get the message loud and clear because she finally breaks the awkward silence that had settled between the three women. “Yeah, babe. I really wanted Clarke to be by my side.”

Clarke smiles a bit, but she tries to keep most of it internal. Lexa wanted her by her side. Clarke wanted to be by her side, but on the side that Costia would be on. Damnit. When did things get so damn complicated?

“Of course, Lex.” Costia grins and Clarke rolls her eyes out of view of the woman because of course it was faked. Can Lexa not tell how fake this girl is? Or is she only fake around Clarke? “I’m sure that I can find another cousin to stand in for Anya.” Was that her plan all along? To ask Clarke to be her maid of honor so that she couldn’t be Lexa’s? If that’s what this girl is about, Clarke’s ready to fight it out. First though, she has to make sure what this Costia girl is about.

“Clarke hasn’t even agreed to by mine.” Lexa utters, looking over to Clarke and catching her phenomenal gaze. Lexa’s heart flutters a bit. Must be nerves. She starts to think that maybe she should have worded that differently.

Meanwhile, Clarke is thinking, ‘Hell yeah, I’ll be yours.’

“Do you seriously even have to ask, Lex?” Clarke says with a grin, making sure to brush her hand gently over Lexa’s arm causing her friend to break out into another one of those award-winning grins. Costia clears her throat.

“Well… I’m glad that that’s settled. Let’s go get you fitted for your dress, Clarke.” Costia starts dragging her once again out of the airport, Lexa following closely behind.

“Cos…babe. I really need to get over to the ballpark. I have to meet with Frank.” Lexa mentions, as if reminding her fiancé about her duties of the day. Costia turns around with a confused look, eyeballing Lexa like she had just said one of the most absurd things. “I have to work on those rookie profiles. I told you that.”

“Lexa… it’s our wedding weekend.”

“I know that. After this evening, I won’t have to deal with work for another week or so. Okay? This is important.” Lexa’s voice is calm and she gives Costia a sweet smile. Costia lets go of Clarke’s arm, leaving the blonde standing there staring at the pair intently. 

“So is our wedding.” Costia says, with a little bit of a bite before Lexa places her hand on the small of Costia’s back and moves her a little further from Clarke. Lexa looks over to her best friend for a split second to apologize with her eyes. Clarke gives her a small, reassuring smile. 

“Please don’t do this, Cos. Not here. We’ve talked about this. This profile could mean big things for my career. You know that there’s nothing more important to me than our wedding, but this has to be done. After tonight, I’m all yours again.” Lexa is rubbing the palm of her hand over Costia’s back trying to calm her down.

The corners of Costia’s lips turn up a bit and all that Lexa can think of is how she wishes that Costia’s smile was even a fraction as beautiful as Clarke’s. ‘Jesus, Lexa. Get your shit together.’ The brunette says to herself. “Clarke…” Lexa says softly, and Clarke hums in response. “Do you mind going with Costia to get fitted for your dress? You can come meet up with me at the ballpark after while.”

Of course she was going to get left with this crazy girl. Clarke groans internally before smiling a small smile and blinking a few times in Lexa’s direction. “Of course I’ll go. Save me a beer though.” Clarke winks; making Lexa laugh, and Clarke doesn’t miss the looks that Costia is giving the both of them.

“Sure thing.” Lexa looks Costia in the eyes and places her hands on the black-headed girl’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “We okay, babe?”

Costia nods and Lexa leans down to place a soft kiss to the girl’s lips, but Costia clearly has other plans because she brings her hands up to Lexa’s hair and pulls her face closer into a more passionate kiss. Lexa looks awkward and Clarke has to look away or she thinks she might be sick.

After what feels like forever, Lexa finally manages to pull herself away from Costia and give her fiancé a half smirk. “Have fun.” She says to Costia and then looks to Clarke before walking over to her and leaning down to press a quick kiss to her best friend’s cheek. “Behave.” She whispers, so that Clarke is the only one that can hear her. This earns Lexa half of a glare; the rest of it is stored somewhere in Clarke’s brain because she thinks that she’s short-circuiting from the soft lips that were on her cheek. Lexa gives Costia one last kiss on top of her head and grabs a cab to take to the ballpark.

“Right.” Costia says with another fake smile as she turns to Clarke. “This will be fun. Ready to go try on your dress?”

“Sure.” Clarke answers the annoying woman, wishing that she were in that cab with Lexa headed to the baseball field. “Sounds… fun.”

 

//

 

The dress fitting is about as interesting and exciting that Clarke thought that it would be. Which was... it wasn’t. There was a short, middle-aged woman working around her for like two hours. The woman would pinch and poke and cinch until Clarke was sure that Costia had hired her to torture Clarke. From what she knows now of Lexa’s fiancé, that wouldn’t be a far cry.

Costia had taken Clarke to a Vera Wang dress gallery in Chicago. Needless to say, Clarke loved it, even though she was in some pretty shit company. The beautiful gowns and dresses were hanging throughout the entire building. Clarke hadn’t realized how many shades of white that there actually were, and the bright and pastel colors of the bridesmaid’s dresses hanging at the back of the place were just as gorgeous, in Clarke’s opinion.

The gown that Clarke would be wearing in the wedding is fitted like a mermaid style dress. It’s tighter around the hips and thighs area and the material starts to open up and flow around the lower part of her legs, turning into about a two-foot long train that drags behind her. The top part is strapless in a sweetheart shape. The color, thankfully, is navy. Clarke honestly feels like royalty in the dress, and she’s certainly glad that the bride’s parents are paying for all of this. Clarke is well off and always has been, but she’s pretty sure that this dress would cost her three months rent, if not more.

“What do you think of the color, Miss Daniels?” The woman kneeling down beside Clarke, pinching the fabric together, asks. “It’s beautiful, no?”

Costia has been looking down at her cellphone since the moment that they walked into the store, that Clarke thinks is extremely rude, but she’s not entirely surprised. The black-headed girl looks up, for a split second, and then back to her phone before answering the question that she was asked. “It looks good.”

In that moment, Clarke seriously thought about yanking the needle out of this woman’s hands and attacking this infuriating girl with it. Seriously, how in the hell is Lexa marrying this woman? Like, why?

“It’s lovely.” Clarke comments with a small smile, looking down at the woman sewing on the hem of her gown. “Thank you.”

The woman nods up at Clarke before telling her that she can step out of the dress now. “Will this be tighter?” Clarke asks the woman, as the blonde starts to pull at the top of the dress. “I just don’t want the girls popping out, you know?”

“Yes ma’am. I will work on it personally.”

“Thank you.” Clarke thanks the woman before glaring at Costia who sits in front of her, still with her head in her damned cell phone. Clarke takes this time, changing out of her dress, to scan over this Costia Daniels girl. She wonders what she has, other than money that Clarke doesn’t. There has to be some sort of redeeming quality in her if Lexa loves her. Lexa is such an amazing person, and Clarke would never admit it, but she’s always kind of liked the girls that Lexa has dated. This one is different. This one is like an antonym to Lexa.

After a minute or so, Costia looks up and catches Clarke staring at her. “Would you rather a different fit?” Costia asks with a raised brow as if she’s irritated to be here. “If you’re not comfortable, I’m sure that we can find something better fitted for someone with your… hips.” 

‘This bitch.’ Clarke thinks to herself. She almost wants to say, ‘Lexa loves my hips’, but she refrains from doing so because she’s not very certain that Lexa wouldn’t absolutely kill her for that. “This dress is fine. I am plenty comfortable.” Clarke answers her finally with her own fake smile. “Are Octavia and your cousin, Raven, wearing the same one?”

“No.”

“Oh…umm, is there a reason?”

Costia is looking back at her phone as she stands up and tucks her purse onto her arm. She looks even more irritated now than she did earlier. Clarke thinks that she might have just struck a nerve. “Lexa says that you like to stand out and be different. I told her that I would rather you wear the same, but she insisted.”

“Lexa picked this out?” Clarke asks, pointing over to her dress that the sewing lady was now hanging on a hanger. Costia only nodded. “It’s beautiful.”

“She said you would like it. It’s weird how well you two know each other.” Costia looks as if she’s ready to start grilling Clarke and start a whole investigation. Clarke fidgets a little bit in her spot as she finished pulls up her black slacks. She’s not looking at her, but she can feel Costia’s eyes practically boring a hole into Clarke’s head.

“I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been best friends for as long as we have.” Clarke finally replies softly with a shrugs of her shoulders. “You ready to go?” The blonde asks, tightening the grip on her purse.

“So, you’re sure that you’re fine with the dress?”

“Yes.” Clarke answers. Didn’t we just have this conversation?

“Wow. Okay.”

“What?”

“I just can’t believe that Lexa was actually right about you liking this dress.” Costia says with a chuckle. “She’s not really up on her fashion, as I’m sure that you know.”

“She’s always seemed to dress fine to me.” Clarke retorts. “What else did she even tell you about me?”

“A lot.” Costia answers sternly, as if she really doesn’t want to have this conversation. “She says that you hate weddings. I’m surprised that you came.”

Clarke scrunches her nose as if she can’t believe that Costia would even suggest something like that. “Of course I came. She’s my best friend.”

“Is that all that she is to you?”

Oh shit. Clarke tries to swallow the dry lump that has seemed to have found its place stuck in her throat. “Wh – what?”

“Don’t worry, Clarke. I’m not insinuating anything.” Costia smirks and Clarke seriously just wants to knock this girl out. “Lexa’s a catch. I find it odd that you and Lexa haven’t… you know…”

What? Has Lexa not told her about them? How they started off dating each other and then became best friends, only because Clarke broke Lexa’s heart? “We’re just friends.” Clarke says a little too quickly. It’s not a lie… only like a small half-truth. Costia nods and Clarke lets go of a breath that she didn’t realize that she had been holding. She was definitely going to have to talk to Lexa about this. “I feel like we’d be a wrong fit.” Clarke adds, hoping to take some of the pressure off of her. It wasn’t a lie either. She and Lexa were almost complete opposites. Everything points to them not being romantically involved, but somehow… they just seem to click.

“She’s told me that too.”

Clarke tries to ignore the sting in her chest at the comment. ‘Lexa thinks that we’re a wrong fit too?’ Clarke thinks to herself. Shit. Of course she does. There’s no way in hell that Lexa could love Clarke like she does her. She probably used to, but Clarke screwed that up. “She did?”

“Lex said that you just like to have fun when it comes to your relationships and she’s always kind of been a hopeless romantic.” God. Clarke hated this girl. “Don’t worry.” Costia grins. “I was always like you too, Clarke. Different person every week… until I met Lexa. It’s funny, huh? How love works?”

“Hilarious.” Clarke deadpans. ‘If I smoked I would so need a cigarette right now.’ Clarke thinks.

 

//

 

“I thought that we were going to the ballpark to meet Lexa.” Clarke comments as she steps out of Costia’s vehicle. The black-headed girl had just pulled up into a parking lot of a very extravagant looking Hilton. Clarke and Costia have barely said two words to each other since their peculiar discussion back at the Vera Wang gallery. The blonde wasn’t complaining, that’s for sure. She’s heard enough of this girl’s voice to last her a lifetime. She frowns thinking about how Lexa will be stuck with this for a lifetime… and what Lexa’s relationship with Clarke will be like going forward after the wedding.

“The game doesn’t start until later tonight.” Costia practically grunted as she closed the door to her very expensive, imported car. They were both still dressed in what they had on earlier. Clarke in black slacks and Costia with her damned pink dress. “As your duty as one of the brides’ maid of honor, unfortunately, you have to attend this brunch that my mother is throwing me.”

“Like right now?”

“Yes. Let’s go. We are already late.”

Clarke tries to fill the silence, as they walk through the hotel and towards the elevator. She really doesn’t want to talk to her, but she has to figure out what it is that Lexa sees in her. “So, where do the two of you plan on going for your honeymoon?”

“I’d rather not talk about. Lexa wants to go to the World Series instead of our honeymoon. Can you believe that?” Costia asks as the two of them walk into a very regal looking elevator. All dark mahogany wood and golden fixtures shining everywhere, and Costia reaches over to press a glass button.

“I’m sure that she has her reasons.” Clarke practically bites, but she could have sounded a lot worse. All she can seem to think about are Lexa’s lips on her cheek and her best friend whispering to her, ‘Behave.’ “Lexa, like you said, is a very romantic person. I’m sure that she would love a honeymoon, but right now… she has to put her job over leaving the country.”

“I’m her wife.” Costia bit back. It’s starting to get quite hilarious, Clarke thinks, how much they both obviously hate each other. “Her priority should be me.”

“Not yet.”

“I’m sorry?”

Clarke casually crosses her arms in front of her chest and stairs up towards to ceiling. She has a death grip on each of her biceps, trying to keep herself from lunging at the other girl. “I just pointed out that you’re not her wife.” Clarke grins over at Costia. “Not yet.” Clarke most definitely didn’t miss the glare that she received from Costia, and to her surprise the black-headed woman walks over to press the ‘emergency stop’ button, bringing the elevator to a shrieking stop.

Clarke’s eyes go wide. No. No. No. This isn’t cool. Clarke is claustrophobic, and her heart starts to pump faster, and her breathing starts to come in quicker and shallower. Costia spins are to look Clarke up and down and obviously doesn’t care that the blonde is having a mild panic attack of sorts. “Wh –wh –what are you doing?”

“How could I have been so stupid?” Costia starts, walking ever so slightly towards Clarke with her hands on her hips. Costia then lets out a small chuckle that sends shivers down Clarke’s own spine. “You’re in love with her.”

“What?” Clarke breathes out through her winded lungs, coming out even thinner now that Costia has pegged her.

“Of course… You’re here to what? Break us up? So that the two of you can live happily ever after back in some shabby studio apartment in New York? So that you both can live until the ends of your days tangled up in the romanticism of all of this? You coming here trying to sweep Lexa off of her feet and carry her home with you?”

This bitch really has it coming. She does not want to be locked up in a confined space with Clarke Griffin. Clarke really, really wants to set this girl straight and tell her about she and Lexa’s romantic past that this girl obviously has no clue about, but it’s not her place to. If Lexa didn’t tell Costia about Clarke, then she had her own reasons. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Clarke starts, but she pulls her wits and strength together and marches a couple of steps towards Costia, causing the other girl to back up. “I wonder… does Lexa know what an egotistical, manipulating bitch her fiancé really is? Because I don’t see her loving anyone like you. Ever. So, you must hide your bitchiness very well.”

“Excuse me?” Costia exclaims, but Clarke only marches forwards again, causing Costia to be back up into one of the four walls of the elevator. “Who do you think that you are?”

“Unfortunately for you, I’m your fiancé’s best friend and I do happen to love her very much.” Clarke begins, with a roughness to her own voice that she hasn’t heard in a very long time. “So… if you do one thing to hurt her or try and cause damage to our friendship, well then you have another thing coming to you. Once she finds out about how you really are, you’re done. And unfortunately, I’ll be left to pick up the pieces. I don’t like to see Lexa hurt. I hate it actually… so you just try me, Miss Daniels. I dare you.” Clarke glares at the girl once more before stepping back with a grin and pulling the ‘emergency stop’ button back out, causing the elevator to roar back to life. The doors slide open not long after that, revealing a stunning foyer filled to the brim with hundreds of elegantly dressed women dining on small finger foods and sipping on, what she assumes to be, very expensive champagne.

Costia walks past the blonde into the foyer, making sure to bump her shoulder on the way out, causing a small chuckle erupt from Clarke’s mouth. No one noticed, thankfully. Costia walks past a beautiful, older woman that seems to be heading their way, and when Costia doesn’t stop, the woman walks over to Clarke with a smile. “You must be Miss Griffin.” She holds her hand out and Clarke accepts it with a smile. 

“I am, but I’m sorry, I don’t seem to know you.” 

“How rude of me. I’m Monica Daniels. Costia’s mother.”

Oh god. If Costia is the spawn of Satan, Clarke can only assume that this woman here is Satan herself, but she doesn’t jump to conclusions yet. “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise. I hope that my daughter hasn’t scared you off yet.” The woman smiles. 

“Not for her lack of trying.” Clarke answers but then laughs trying to make it seem as a joke. Monica laughs too, so she assumes that it worked.

“Well, I must say, Miss Griffin – “

“Clarke, please.”

“I’m sorry. Clarke… you are much more beautiful than even Alexandria described.”

Alexandria? Really? Clarke wants to role her eyes. Lexa hates that name.

“Thank you, Mrs. Daniels.” Clarke blushes a little.

“Now…” Monica says, if you’ll just follow me, I will take you to meet another one of the bridesmaids. She’s my sister’s daughter. My niece. She can definitely be a handful; so don’t let her scare you off. They walk up behind a shorter girl with dark brown hair and she herself has on slacks. Until now, Clarke had seen only dresses. “Raven.” Monica says, getting the girl’s attention. This Raven spins around with a grin when she sees Clarke.

“Oh my gosh. You must be the love of Lexa’s life.” Raven smiles widely, and her comment earns her a scowl from her aunt right before she walks away.

“I’m sorry?” Clarke asks, mouth still hanging open from Raven’s earlier words. “You are?”

“Sorry.” Raven sticks out her hand and Clarke hesitantly accepts it. “Raven Reyes. Cousin of the bride.” The other woman rolls her eyes, causing Clarke to grin. This girl must not like her cousin either. “And I was saying that clearly Lexa is completely blind.”

“What?”

“Don’t tell me that you’re as naïve as Sexy Lexy?” Raven smiles. “I mean I assume that you’re Clarke Griffin.” Clarke nods. “Lexa talks about you non-stop. Compares everyone to you. Even Costia… especially Costia. I’m not very close with Lexa, but if I were, I would tell her to dump Costia’s dumb, lying ass and go for what she really wants.”

Clarke is sure that her mouth is agape and that her eyes are more than likely the size of small saucers. “I’m sorry… I’m just a little confused.”

“Don’t be confused, Griffin.” Raven smiles. “I can only assume that you are madly in love with her too.”

“Lexa is not madly in love with me.”

“Ahh… so you admit that you are madly in love with her?”

“Can we please stop saying ‘madly in love’? It’s kind of depressing.” Clarke says, earning her another grin from Raven.

“Sure thing. We can talk about that later when we have our girls’ night out.”

“When we what?” Clarke asks with a raised brow.

“Yeah. You, me, Octavia, Lexa, and Costia. We all have plans to hang out tomorrow night after all of the festivities.”

“Oh…”

Raven pats Clarke on the back. “And as your duty as one of the maid of honors, you need to decide where we should go. I’ll get your number from Lexa and shoot you a text later. I need to run off and talk to a lot more really old ladies.”

Clarke nods. That’s all she can do. This Raven girl is definitely a character. That whole conversation seemed to have lasted all of thirty-seconds. That girl acts as if someone lit a fire under her ass. Before Raven is almost out of earshot, the dark-haired girl shouts out. “FYI, Blondie. Costia hates karaoke bars!”

Clarke grins. ‘Thank you, Raven Reyes.’ She thinks to herself. 'I have the perfect idea.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments. Thanks so much for reading. You guys are awesome!
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven and Clarke strike up a friendship and try to make a few plans. Clexa sees a baseball game and have a small talk about their romantic past. Lexa sees a little more than she was meant to and she gets caught by Octavia and Raven as she slips out of someone's room who is not Costia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Let me know what you think in the comments! I apologize if something may seem off or weird. I have been sick the past few days. I have the flu. Needless to say, I have done nothing but lie in my bed and wallow in self pity and gross cough syrup. 
> 
> Love you guys!

“Thank God that’s over.” Raven utters with a laugh. “I’m so over all of this wedding bullshit.” 

The short, eccentric, dark-haired girl had offered Clarke a ride over to Wrigley so that she could spend the evening with Lexa, and Clarke graciously accepted. Raven wasn’t the only one that was over all of the wedding bullshit. If Clarke had to fake one more smile today, she thought that she would honestly crack. Clarke, in the short time since she’d met her, has grown to rather enjoy Raven’s company. The girl is a little peculiar, but amusing nevertheless. She assumes that Lexa and Raven get along quite well too. “You aren’t the only one.” Clarke replies with a chuckle.

“So, Griffin… tell me why you and Sexy Lexy aren’t together.” Clarke’s eyes go wide at Raven’s words. “I mean I’ve never even seen the two of you together and I know that you have more chemistry than she and my senseless cousin have.”

“I take it that you don’t like Costia very much.” Clarke grins as she reaches over to turn the radio volume down.

“We’re only cousins by marriage. Not by blood and most definitely not by choice.” Raven sighs. “It’s been like this for years. She thinks that she’s better than everyone else.”

“Really? I never would have guessed.” The blonde’s voice dripped with sarcasm, causing Raven to laugh out loud.

“You know what, Griffin? I like you. So much so… that I’m going to help you out here. Give you a few pointers.”

Clarke crosses her arms in front of her chest and looks the other woman up and down. What is this girl going on about? What kind of pointers could she possibly give me? “Enlighten me then.”

“Clearly, you’re in love with Lexa.”

“What? How do you kn – I mean how could you possibly know that?” Clarke stumbles over her words and she really hopes that Raven didn’t hear her little screw up.

“Well, I wasn’t entirely sure, but you just confirmed it for me.” Raven smirks deviously. 

“I hate you.” Clarke groans. “Okay… so what if I have feelings for Lexa. We’re just friends. That’s all that we will ever be. She’s engaged to Costia now. Your cousin.”

“Fuck Costia.” Raven exclaims making Clarke jump a little bit in her seat. “I’ve been around Lexa a lot in the last few weeks and she talks about Costia about five percent of the time. Another five percent of our time, she’s talking about baseball, which I love by the way, and the final, whopping ninety percent of the time she’s talking about you. You and her both. All of the times and memories that the two of you have shared together. It’s really obvious actually.”

“What is?”

“Lexa is in love with you too.” Raven shrugs and Clarke blushes tremendously. 

“No.” Clarke replies, shaking her head in disagreement. “She doesn’t. That’s water under the bridge. I fucked that up big time.”

“Wait, what?” Shit, Clarke… you’ve said too much already. “You mean to tell me that you and Lexa have actually been together? Like together, together?”

Clarke slinks back into her seat and puts her hands over her face and groans loudly, no caring about how big of an idiot she looks like. Raven chuckles, causing Clarke to pull her hands away from her face.

“Oh man. This is too good.”

“Raven, please. You can’t tell anyone. There must be a reason that Lexa hasn’t told Costia that we used to date.”

“Don’t worry, Blondie. Your secret is safe with me.” Raven smiles and Clarke relaxes, but only a small amount. The silence between them settles and it isn’t uncomfortable, but the atmosphere is clearly full of unanswered questions. “So, how do you plan on going about this?” Raven asks finally, breaking the few moments of silence that had built up.

“Go about what exactly?” Clarke asks with a furrowed brow.

“How do you plan on crashing this wedding?”

“What?” Clarke practically shrieks. “Raven, I – There’s no – I mean… I can’t do that.”

“Was that your plan to begin with though? Swoop in and steal back your woman? Because if so… I am so down with that plan, and you of course will need some help from a mastermind of sorts.” Raven wiggles her eyebrows causing Clarke to grin.

“I love Lexa. I do.” Clarke grins, turning her head to look out the passenger side window. She can see Wrigley field coming up in the distance. “More than anything really. She’s been my constant, my one steadying thing throughout the last nine years of my life. It’s going to be hard to let go of that. I know that things will never be the same after this wedding.” This is really the first time that Clarke has spoken these words out loud. She thinks that she feels her heart shatter just a little bit more hearing them aloud. “I just don’t understand what she sees in Costia. Lexa is such a good, gentle, romantic soul and Costia is… not.”

Raven laughs. “I think that Lexa maybe just fell victim to Costia like all of her past lovers.” Clarke looks to the woman driving, asking a silent question in which Raven turns to answer. “Costia is gorgeous. Obviously. Not as gorgeous as me… but still. She’s younger, she comes from a very powerful family… that’s always a big plus – “

“Lexa isn’t like that. She would never date anyone, let alone marry them, for their money.” Clarke interrupts Raven’s words.

“I agree. I don’t believe that Woods is like that at all, but I think that idea gets lodged into the back of some people’s minds. Plus… Lexa isn’t getting any younger. She’s what? Well on her way to thirty? She’s probably just tired of the dating scene. Ready to settle down and what not.” Raven looks over to Clarke with eyes that Clarke can’t help but think look a little desolate. “Maybe she’s tired of waiting around for the one person that she wants more than any other thing.”

Clarke’s heart sinks to the deep abyss of her stomach, causing tears to well up in her eyes. This isn’t right. Clarke Griffin does not cry. She doesn’t allow them to fall. “Raven… I – “ She doesn’t know what she wants to say. Should she believe that what Raven is saying is true? Does Lexa still have romantic feelings for Clarke? If so, there’s only one-way to find out for sure. It’s time for Clarke to go all in. “I’m going to do this.” Clarke finally says, causing Raven to give her, her biggest smile yet. “I have to do this. For another chance with Lexa… I have to try.”

Clarke hadn’t noticed that they had pulled up in front of the stadium. “That’s what I like to hear, Griffin.” Raven smiles once again. “Now go get your girl. For real. I really don’t want to have to wear that damned dress on Sunday.” Clarke laughs and realizes how thankful she is to have found someone like Raven to assist her in all of this mad chaos.

“Hey, Raven?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind setting our reservations for girls’ night tomorrow?” Clarke asks politely. 

“Not at all. What are we doing?”

“I was thinking… karaoke.” This brings a whole other devilish grin to Raven’s face and she lets out a small chuckle. Just when Raven is about to drive off, Clarke yells. “Make sure that it’s a real dive.” Raven laughs out loud again, causing Clarke to do the same. This was going to be great.

 

//

 

Clarke made her way up to Mr. Daniels’ private box. She guesses owning the Cubs gets you special privileges. Clarke wasn’t too sure about meeting Costia’s father; her mother hadn’t seemed too bad, so she was going into this practically blind. Clarke was able to slip in the door of the box without being heard. It took her a moment to take in the few of the whole place. It was massive. There were windows covering every wall so that you could see all around the ballpark. It was getting dark outside, but the lights of the stadium lit the place up as if it were the early parts of the morning. She notices the huge bar in the club box and chuckles a bit when she sees all of the lavish liquors that were stocked.

Clarke hears a round of laughter up in the forefront area of the box where the cushioned seats were looking out into the field. She walks a bit closer, hoping that she was truly in the right place. It’s then when she sees the top of a familiar brunette. Clarke doesn’t know how long she stood there staring at the back of Lexa’s head, watching it bob a bit every time she laughed or took a swig of her beer. Suddenly, her friend turns in her seat and those indescribable green eyes are like magnets to her blue ones, pulling her in close and holding her there. The smile on Lexa’s face doesn’t dull; it seems to only widen and it makes Clarke’s heart thump harder.

Lexa gets up from her place in front of several old men that Clarke assumes are Mr. Daniels and some of his friends. The taller woman makes her way over to Clarke and pulls her in for a hug. Clarke is sure to wrap her arms around Lexa tightly because she doesn’t know how much longer touching Lexa like this would last. “You look beautiful.” Lexa utters, grinning as she pulls back, but still keeping her hands near Clarke’s waist.

“I’m wearing the same thing that I had on at the airport this morning, Lex. I can’t look too beautiful.” Clarke replies, trying to hide the blush that appears on her face.

Lexa laughs and leans down to place a kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “You are always beautiful, Clarke Griffin.”

“And you’re always such the charmer.” Clarke smirks. “Were you able to get the profiles on the new rookies?”

“So you were listening.” Lexa laughs, and Clarke’s heart almost breaks when she realizes that Costia probably never listens to anything that Lexa says. That girl is always too worried about herself and her money.

“Of course I was.” Clarke grins.

Lexa removes her hands from Clarke’s waist, but only for a second before she’s pulling Clarke out onto a private balcony connected to the side of the club box. The atmosphere outside of the box is so much more Lexa. It’s loud. The vendors are yelling, the cheers and boos are coming from every direction, and the crack of the bat hitting the small baseball, fill the air. Once they’re out there, they both lean up against the railing and look out over the ballpark. “This is amazing.” Clarke breathes.

“Yeah.” Lexa replies and Clarke doesn’t realize that Lexa is still staring directly at her. “So…” Lexa starts, clearing her throat. “The profiles went well. Really well actually. Frank, my boss, said that I should hear something from him soon about whether it will get published or not. He says that he expects big things from it. Like ESPN big.” Lexa’s smile is wide and beautiful. More beautiful than anything that Clarke has ever seen, and the thought of someone like Costia coming in to ruin that makes her angry.

“That’s fantastic, Lex!” Clarke grins and throws her arms around her best friend’s shoulder, pulling her in for another hug. “I’m so proud of you, you know?”

“Yeah?”

“More than anything.” Clarke smiles, earning her one back from Lexa in return.

“What did you do with my best friend?” Lexa asks teasingly.

“I’m still your best friend.” Clarke grins again. “You just haven’t seen me in a while. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile this much in under an hour.” Lexa chuckles, earning her a playful slap to the arm from Clarke.

Clarke leans forward over the railing again and Lexa seems to follow her. They are close. Too close, but Clarke makes herself think that it’s only because of the noise that Lexa stands closer to her. So that they can hear each other better. “What are you thinking?” Lexa asks, leaning over to Clarke’s ear and breaking the blonde out of her thoughts.

She turns to meet Lexa’s green eyes once more and wonders if she will ever get over them. Clarke shrugs. “I don’t remember the last time that I’ve smiled this much.” She replies honestly, because she doesn’t. She thinks that the last time she smiled this much, she was with Lexa in the city several months ago.

Lexa notices the slight frown that seems to have taken over her friend’s face. “What seems to be causing this newfound smiling?” Lexa grins.

“That.” Clarke answers.

“What?”

“Your smile.”

“Oh.” Is all that Lexa can manage to squeak out. Clarke doesn’t know if it’s just the weird lighting in the stadium or what, but Lexa seems to be blushing. God. She hopes that that’s the case. They stand there in silence for what feels like an eternity before the brunette speaks again. “How did the fitting go?” Lexa asks as if she had forgotten about Clarke’s day out with her fiancé.

“Fine.” Clarke half-smiled.

“Clarke…”

“The dress was beautiful.” Clarke leaned in to kiss the tip of Lexa’s nose. “Thank you. I love it.”

“Yeah?” The blonde only nods and Lexa lets out an audible sigh. “Clarke, what do you think about her?”

Dammit. She really was hoping that somehow, someway, Lexa would have just forgotten about Costia. No such luck it would seem. Clarke can only bring herself to shrug.

“Clarke? Seriously? What’s the deal?”

“Well… to be perfectly honest, I have been racking my brain to find something that the two of you have in common.” This was it. This is where everything falls apart. She just knows it. Clarke looks over to Lexa hesitantly after her friend doesn’t say anything back to her. Her heart sinks when she sees the pained look on Lexa’s face. “Lexa? Talk to me. Please.”

Lexa moves to sit on one of the seats behind them on the balcony, so Clarke does too. “I just wanted the two of you to get along.”

“Lexa… it’s fine that we don’t get along. I mean, honestly, in my opinion, no one will ever be good enough for you.” Clarke all but whispers. “I don’t want you to settle. I don’t know what it is that you see in her, but maybe you could tell me. I would like to understand where your head is at in all of this. What brought all of this on? This marriage stuff? Last time I talked to you a few months ago you weren’t even thinking about dating anyone.”

“I know. It’s just… I’m getting older now, Clarke. I have a great job, but I feel like its time that I start a family. I feel like there’s this hole in my life that I have to fill.”

“And you think that making a family will fill it?” Lexa nods softly and Clarke reaches over and grabs her friend’s hand and intertwines their fingers. “Lexa… I understand having that emptiness inside, but are you sure that Costia is what will fill it?” Clarke asks and the look of sadness and of the unsure in Lexa’s eyes almost makes her want to cry.

“I have to try.” Lexa looks out over the field, trying to ignore the stinging feeling in her chest and behind her eyes. The one that keeps telling her that she knows what would fill that emptiness in her life. She knows that she’s settling because the thing she wants most… the thing that she loves most, doesn’t want her back. “Costia is fun. She’s exciting. She keeps me on my toes. She’s gorgeous.” It’s almost as if Lexa is trying to convince herself of these things. “When I hug her, even in public, I don’t have to let go right away. If I kiss her when we’re out, she doesn’t pull away. She lets me hold her as long as I want to.” Clarke’s facial expressions must not go unnoticed by Lexa because next she’s asking, “What?”

“Nothing.” Clarke answers, shaking her head and running a hand through her hair. She then gets up to walk back over the railing of the balcony.

“Oh yeah.” Lexa chuckles, but only slightly. It’s almost a sarcastic chuckle. Clarke can hear the brunette standing and walking over to her side. “I forgot about you and the ‘yucky love stuff’.” Clarke spins around to look at Lexa with a questioning, but serious look on her face. Lexa takes a deep breath, not really wanting to fight with Clarke about this, but she has to explain herself now. “You always get like this.” Lexa waves a hand in front of Clarke. “When things start to get sentimental… you clam up.”

“I do not.” Clarke exclaims, hitting Lexa softly with her shoulder.

“Okay.”

“When we were – when you and I were…” Shit Clarke. Why are you bringing this up? It’s only going to bring about more heartache. “When we were – “

“Together?” Lexa finishes.

Clarke hums. “Yeah. Well, did I – umm… when –“

“Yes.”

“What do you mean ‘yes’?” Clarke asks.

“Yes you pulled away when I tried to hug or kiss you in public.” Lexa answers and it’s soft and almost sad. Her green eyes rake over Clarke’s face, looking for something in particular. Clarke almost feels as if she feels her blue eyes filling with unshed tears, but she doesn’t allow them to fall. They only stare at each other for the next few moments. Neither of them knowing what to say to the other.

“I think I’ve changed.” Clarke finally utters, looking back over the ballpark. “I’m not the girl that I used to be, Lexa.”

“Oh, really?” Lexa almost chuckles. Had any relationships last over a week that I should know about? Anything getting serious?”

Clarke laughs then and slaps Lexa playfully on the arm. “This is not about longevity, Lexa. This is about…” Clarke takes a sigh and hopes that this doesn’t come out sounding completely obvious and love struck. “Being okay. With the ‘yucky love stuff’.” Clarke manages to say, earning a confused look from her best friend. “And I am.” She says, leaning slightly closer to Lexa. The look that she receives next from her friend is very confusing to say the least. There’s a hint of a smile there, but there’s also something unknown. Something that Clarke can’t quite pick up on, and the blonde really hopes that Lexa is starting to catch on to her meaning. She doesn’t think that she could bear to just come out right now and say, ‘I love you, Lexa Woods.’

If something doesn’t change though… that might just be what has to happen.

 

//

 

Clarke and Lexa pull up outside the Langham Hotel, where they are both staying, later that evening. They watched the rest of the baseball game, laughing and cutting up like usual, but there was something different. Something that most of the time wasn’t there. At least that Clarke has noticed. Every time that Clarke would glance up and over to look at Lexa, Lexa would be staring at Clarke. Sometimes they would share a shy smile, other times Lexa would look away like she wasn’t just caught staring. The pitter-patter that Clarke’s heart seemed to be doing, didn’t act like it was going to stop anytime soon.

Lexa exits her side of the cab and quickly runs over to open Clarke’s door for her. “So chivalrous.” Clarke grins, causing Lexa to perform a cheesy bow.

“So…” Lexa mumbles as they walk into the lobby of the nice hotel. “I – umm… I’m not tired yet. Do you maybe want to watch a movie or something?”

“Sure.” Clarke smiles. “You can come up to my room. Room 307 I believe.”

“Ok. I need to go call Costia first and then I’ll see you there.”

Clarke really hopes that the feeling of pure disgust doesn’t show on her face, because that’s exactly what she was feeling. “Yeah. Uhh – Here.” Clarke digs through her purse and pulls out her extra keycard. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Just let yourself in.”

“Alright.” Lexa smiles, taking the key from Clarke’s hand, and making her way upstairs.

Around twenty minutes later, Clarke is just finishing up in the bathroom. She pulls on her favorite, most comfortable pair of black, lacey underwear with a matching bra, because she’s an idiot and forgot to pack anything else in the way of underwear. Clarke runs her hands through her wet hair, trying not to imagine Lexa’s doing the same thing. She’s pulled out of her daydream by a ringing phone. She looks over the counter to grab her cell phone and smiles when she sees who it is. “Wells.” Clarke grins as she answers the phone.

“Clarke. How’s the mission going?” Wells asks, and she can practically hear the grin on his face.

Clarke let’s out a sigh and runs her fingers through her hair again. She can’t really answer that question, because she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what’s going on in Lexa’s mind. She still doesn’t know what Lexa sees in Costia, and she sure as hell doesn’t know how Lexa feels about Clarke. “I’m not sure. You should see her, Wells. This Costia chick… she looks perfect, and everything on paper seems perfect.”

“But?”

“But she’s a royal bitch and a pain in my ass.” Clarke groans loudly into the phone. “I just don’t understand. I don’t get why Lexa seems to love her.”

“Sometimes love can’t be explained.”

“Clearly.” Clarke deadpans, and she hears Wells let out a sigh on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry… it’s just – I’m so confused about everything.”

“Are you confused about your feelings for Lexa?” 

“What? No.” Clarke answers firmly. “That’s the only thing that I’m sure of. I just have to find a way to get rid of Costia without being a completely awful friend.”

Wells lets out a bellowing laugh, causing Clarke to laugh as well. Come to think of it, this whole plan is so ridiculous. She never would have thought that one day, she would be in love and in the midst of trying to sabotage her best friend’s wedding in order to steal the bride. Well, one of them anyways. “So… as I was saying – “ Clarke opens the bathroom door to walk out to her suite and grab some pajamas to throw on over her underwear, and about the same time that she steps out, Lexa comes through the suite door using Clarke’s spare key. “I just don’t know if I can – Oh shit.” Clarke exclaims, dropping the phone and freaking out that she’s standing in front of Lexa in her underwear. 

Lexa must have been entranced, because her mouth hung agape and her eyes were widened, taking in every inch of pale skin that was on display in front of her. “Lexa…” Clarke breathes out, as if she were scared to death. “You – umm… I just –“ Clarke reaches for her pajamas on the chair behind her and she’s a thousand percent positive that her whole body is blushing under Lexa’ gaze.

“Oh – umm… Clarke.” Lexa stutters out, twisting and turning awkwardly in the process. “You – uh… want me to turn around or something?” Jesus, Lexa that was the stupidest question that you could have possibly asked. Get your shit together, woman.

Clarke hesitates. “Yes.” The blonde clears her throat and yanks her pajamas in front of her, backing up slowly into the bathroom. “You were – I forgot…” Clarke’s mind is zapped and she has no clue what she’s trying to say. She pulls her pajamas tightly in front of her once more.

Lexa looks very serious. She still hasn’t turned around, and her dark, green eyes seem to be burning holes through Clarke. “I’ve seen you a lot more naked than that, Clarke.” Clarke is almost positive that she catches the slightest glimpse of a smirk.

“Yeah.” Clarke says quietly, looking down at her feet. She can’t bear to look back into those eyes. “Well… things are different now.” There’s sadness in her voice, and she can’t even bring herself to care that Lexa might have heard it and picked up on it.

“Yeah.” Lexa says with a similar hint of sorrow in her own voice. She looks down at her feet as well. “I guess so.” She chuckles nervously and Clarke starts to back completely up into the bathroom, grabbing her phone from the floor in the process. Before Clarke can get the bathroom door closed completely, Lexa speaks again, but this time… this time it’s something different. There’s courage and a sense of confidence there. “You look really good…without your clothes on.” She grins, causing Clarke to furrow her brows and then chuckle nervously before the blonde shuts the door completely.

‘What the hell?’ Clarke thinks to herself as she slides down the bathroom door to sit on the cold tile flooring. Her mouth is hung wide open and she feels as if her whole body is ablaze from Lexa’s stare. Little does she know, on the other side of the door, Lexa is having a mild freak out of her own. 

Clarke puts her cell phone up to her ear when she notices that the call is still connected with Wells. “Wells?”

“Yeah?”

Her voice is soft, so as she doesn’t allow Lexa to hear her from the other room. “Costia’s toast.”

 

//

 

A few minutes later Clarke exits the bathroom, in her pajamas this time, and sees Lexa lying on her bed flipping through the channels on the television. “Found anything good to watch?” Clarke asks, as she walks over and plops down beside her friend, being sure to leave enough distance between them that they don’t touch.

“Not really.” Lexa shrugs. Clarke notices that her friend’s shoes are still on her feet, dangling off of the bed.

“Why are your shoes still on?”

“I figured that you were probably too tired to stay up. I think I just may head on up to my room.” Lexa answers, not meeting those blue eyes that she most definitely does not dream of.

“I want to spend time with you.” Clarke says softly as Lexa sits up on the edge of the bed. “Who knows when the next time that we get to hang out will be? If ever.” She says the last part quieter, but Lexa still seems to hear it.

“What?”

“Lexa…” The desolation is back. “After Sunday, things will be different. Costia isn’t going to want me around. She isn’t going to want you spending time with me.”

“What?” Lexa asks, raising a brow. “Why do you think that? She doesn’t get to dictate who I spend time with.”

“She’ll be your wife, Lexa.” Clarke says, and it comes out harsher than she actually meant. “If you want your marriage to work… if being with Costia is truly what you want, then there are certain sacrifices that you will have to make.”

“Yeah. Well… I’m not sacrificing you.” Lexa says, matter-of-factly. “Not my best friend.” Her eyes seem to be extra green because of the unshed tears that start to fill her eyes. Neither one of them say anything. “Can we just watch TV now?” The brunette tries to smile, and change the subject.

“Of course.” Clarke smiles sadly. “Come on.” Clarke lies back on her bed and grabs the remote, and then she’s surprised to find that Lexa has scooted right beside her and placed her head on Clarke’s shoulder. It’s not intimate. It’s friendly, but it’s still everything that Clarke needed in that moment. “You’re my best friend.” Clarke whispers softly, after a few minutes. She actually thinks that Lexa might have fallen asleep until she hears a soft voice answer.

“And you’re mine.”

 

//

 

The night comes and goes, bringing upon a new day and with the new day, comes a bright sun. The windows and blinds of Clarke’s hotel room don’t do much to hold the sun at bay. It’s fierce and vivid and it’s exactly not how Clarke wanted to wake up this morning. 

That being said, she had completely forgotten about a certain brunette that was snuggled up against her, until said girl started to stir from her sleep as well. ‘Oh god. We fell asleep.’ Clarke thought to herself. ‘Lexa is going to freak out that she stayed over.’

The brunette stretches her arms out wide as she twists and turns in the bed. Clarke tries to create some space between them without being obvious about it. She really doesn’t need Lexa freaking out on her right now. Lexa turns her head and opens one brilliant green eye to peek up at Clarke. “Morning.” Lexa grins and this causes Clarke to let out a very relieved and audible sigh. Thank God she didn’t freak out. 

Lexa’s smile is gorgeous and beaming and it’s everything that one person could wish to wake up to every morning for the rest of their lives. The butterflies, which seemed to have taken up residence in Clarke’s stomach, start to stir from their sleep as well, causing a tornado of emotions to form there. “Good morning.” Clarke replies, coolly. 

Lexa tries to stretch again and let’s out a groan causing Clarke to laugh and scoot down to face her friend. “What is it?” Clarke asks with a smile.

“Unfortunately, I have to spend the day doing last minute food tastings for the reception.” Lexa answers.

“Oh.” Clarke throws a hand to her forehead to feign shock. “How awful.”

Lexa chuckles and sidles up closer to Clarke. “I would much rather stay here with you.”

“Is that so, Miss Woods?” Clarke smiles and Lexa nods sleepily with her eyes shut. “Then do it.”

Lexa opens her eyelids, giving Clarke another spectacular glimpse into her best friend’s vast and vivid forest-like eyes. “Trust me.” Lexa utters, picking up a hand and pushing a stray strand of blonde hair back behind Clarke’s ear. “If I could, I would.” Suddenly, this feels all too intimate. Clarke’s heart starts to flurry again. It seems to be doing that quite a lot the past couple of days. She can see the moment when Lexa realizes that this is too much for friends too. The brunette slowly removes her hand and gets out of bed, causing Clarke to unconsciously pout out her lower lip.

The brunette beside her bed, sliding her shoes on each of her feet, sees it and chuckles. “I have to go get a shower and get ready for the day.” Lexa leans over to place a kiss on Clarke’s forehead. “I’ll see you later this evening?” Lexa asks Clarke as if she wouldn’t see her. “For this ‘girl’s night out’?”

Clarke nods.

“At least tell me where we’re going.” Lexa smiles.

“No can do.” Clarke grins causing Lexa’s smile to widen as she walks to the door to leave.

“Clarke, Costia doesn’t like surprises.”

“Then that gives me all the more reason to keep it a secret.” Clarke grins devilishly earning her a glare from her best friend.

“Please promise me that you’ll at least try to get along with her tonight.”

Clarke rolls her eyes. “I promise.”

Lexa places her hand on the doorknob to exit Clarke’s hotel room and turns to smile a sweet, but sad smile to her friend still lying in the bed. “Call me if you need anything.” She opens the door and almost runs smooth in to two very familiar faces. Lexa’s eyes are wide and her heart starts to thump rapidly and furiously against the inside of her chest. She doesn’t know why… she wasn’t really doing anything wrong. She stayed the night with her best friend. That was all.

“Woods, what the hell – I thought that this was Clarke’s room.” Raven says, a little too loudly.

“Yeah, Lexa. Why are you in Clarke’s room? Huh?” Octavia Blake says, next and Clarke is sure that that’s whose voice she heard even though she can’t really see her from the bed. The blonde immediately jumps out of the bed and runs over to the door. A huge smile takes over her face when she sees Octavia.

“O!” Clarke launches herself at Octavia and the other girl does the same. “I’m so glad to see you!”

“Ditto, Griffin. It’s been a while.” During the encounter, Raven slips into Clarke’s room and Lexa tries to sneak out. “Don’t think for a minute that you’re off the hook, Woods.” Octavia says teasingly to their mutual friend, who doesn’t turn back to face them.

Raven, Octavia and Clarke all enter Clarke’s hotel room and plop down onto the bed. “So you two know each other then?” Clarke asks the other two girls.

“We do.”

“We have hung out a few times here and there.” Octavia says. “So, you mind telling us why Lexa was just sneaking out of your room?”

“She wasn’t sneaking. We just fell asleep watching a movie last night. She has to go get ready.”

“Yeah.” Octavia says, firmly. “For a day with her fiancé… who she is marrying on Sunday.”

“Chill out, Blake.” Raven pipes in from where she’s digging through Clarke’s mini fridge now at the other side of the room. “Clarke is here to steal her back.”

“Raven!”

“Excuse me? Steal her back? What the hell does that even mean?” Octavia asks, mouth wide open and brows furrowed.

There are a few intense moments of silence between the three women. Clarke doesn’t know why she’s so nervous about Octavia knowing about any of this. Clarke knows that Octavia would be down with Clarke and Lexa getting together in the end. It’s just when the blonde starts to think about it… this whole plan makes her seem like such a home wrecker. It makes her feel dirty inside. “O…” Clarke begins. “I love Lexa.”

“I know, Clarke.” Octavia says while rolling her eyes. “You guys are the best of friends.”

“No. I’m in love with her. “ Clarke says firmly. “I came here because I can’t stand the thought of losing her to someone else. I know that I waited way too long to realize it, but…I see it now.” Octavia’s eyes are wide and Clarke would find it almost comical if this weren’t so serious to her. “I especially can’t lose her to someone like Costia Daniels. No offense, Raven.”

“None taken.”

“I’m not going to let Costia snuff out Lexa’s light. She’s too good to become this ‘trophy wife’ that Costia wants to make her out to be. I haven’t spent much time with Costia… but I know that she doesn’t love Lexa. Not like Lexa deserves to be loved.”

“Holy shit.” Octavia manages to say after a few moments of silence. The shorter woman gets up off the bed to pace around the room with her hand held to her forehead. “Holy shit…you’re – you’re really in love with her…. Fucking finally!” Octavia exclaims.

“Finally?” Clarke eyes her friend in bewilderment.

“I thought that you would never realize that you two were more than just friends.”

This causes Clarke to roll her eyes. “Now if I only knew how Lexa felt about me.”

“Are you kidding me, Clarke?” Octavia asks sarcastically. “That girl is crazy about you. She would drop Costia’s no good ass if she knew that you felt the same about her.”

A few more moments of silence pass and Clarke starts to feel even more nervous now. She’s not too sure that she likes all of these people knowing about her feelings of Lexa and her reasoning behind being here. She wonders what would have happened if Lexa wouldn’t have had to go be with Costia all day. If the two of them could have just stayed in bed all day together… what would have came of it? Would Clarke have finally admitted her feelings?

“So, are you in, O?” Raven asks from her corner of the room.

“In what?” Clarke asks nervously.

“Hell yeah I’m in.” Octavia shouts. “Operation Clexa has commenced.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below.. and I truly do love kudos. ;) Thanks for reading, guys! Maybe it won't be too long until I can get another update up.
> 
> Much love!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for a bachelorette party? Clarke, Lexa, and Costa in one place... nothing could go wrong. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Sorry it took longer than usual. I'm finally over the flu though! *Fist pumps in the air* I hope you enjoy the update.

It’s Friday evening, finally; time for the girl’s night out, or for a better word… bachelorette party. Raven found a great karaoke bar for Clarke to take everyone to for after they have their dinner. It was right up Lexa’s ally, but Costia’s…not so much. Which made it perfect in Raven, Clarke, and Octavia’s eyes. 

The evening began with dinner. Clarke, Raven, and Octavia met Lexa and Costia at some fancy restaurant that Costia had wanted to eat at, and naturally Lexa said that that was fine. The food was exquisite, but the atmosphere was stuffy, and snobby, and just nothing like a bachelorette party should be like. It was the first time, since the airport, that Clarke had seen Costia and Lexa together and it was about to drive her absolutely insane. Tonight, though, was different. Lexa and Costia seemed to be showing more affection towards each other, and that wasn’t sitting well in Clarke’s stomach at all. In fact, it made her want to physically be sick. Clarke wondered, in the back of her foggy, emotional mind, if Costia was doing this on purpose. Trying to get under Clarke’s skin.

The holding hands, knee squeezes, and the wrapping of arms around waists and shoulders weren’t what bothered Clarke the most. It was the more expressive type actions. The soft smiles. The soft kisses to the side of Costia’s lips. The whispering in ears, followed by quiet giggles from both parties. Clarke actually cringes. What’s keeping the blonde going, however, are the small, subtle glances that she sees from Lexa every time Clarke lifts her gaze to them. The brunette always, immediately looks away though. Afraid that Costia might see the possibly, longing glances?

Thank God for Raven and Octavia though. Clarke doesn’t know what she would do without the duo. They keep things fairly light and carefree; otherwise, this would have been the most awkward bachelorette party in the history of bachelorette parties.

The five women, hailed a cab, large enough for all of them, and headed to their next destination. Clarke really tried to hold back her laughter every time that Raven would look at her and wiggle her eyebrows, knowing full well that this karaoke bar was going to make for a miserable, embarrassing night for the young Miss Daniels.

“What are you up there grinning about?” Lexa asks, from her position beside Costia as she pokes Clarke in the back of the head. Clarke turns around, slightly, to look at her best friend. She doesn’t miss the cool arm around Costia’s shoulders, tugging her in closer. The smirk on Lexa’s face is not only adorable, but Clarke thinks that it’s so sexy. How can someone manage to pull off the two at the same time?

“Nothing.” Clarke says, nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders and turning back to face the front.

“Uh huh.” She hears Lexa mutter behind her, but she can hear the smile in Lexa’s voice. The drive from the restaurant to the bar doesn’t take entirely long, even though they are on two opposite sides of the city. When they pull up, Clarke can hear Costia whisper to Lexa, “Where the hell are we?”

Ok. Clarke can most definitely not keep her grin hidden at that. She quickly turns to see if Raven and Octavia had heard. They had. Octavia gives Clarke a hidden thumbs up.

“Now this is what I’m talking about.” Lexa grins, ignoring Costia’s very audible sigh. The five of them make their way into the bar and Lexa’s eyes widen even further, and her smile widens as well, when she sees all of the TV screens plastered across the wall and columns in the bar. There’s not a stage; whoever’s turn it is, just has to stand in their place with the microphone and sing whatever song they’re given. No choosing, unless it’s a certain night. And it isn’t. “A karaoke bar!” Lexa exclaims, making Clarke chuckle. “I love karaoke.” The brunette removes her arm from Costia’s waist and slings it over Clarke’s shoulders. “Where did you find this place?”

“I had a little help from a native.” Clarke answers, grinning over at Raven. “And you, my dear friend…” Clarke says, poking Lexa in the chest. “Are singing THE song.” Lexa and Clarke begin to laugh as they walk to find a table big enough for all of them.

Octavia follows them, but Raven stays back because the look on Costia’s face is too good to miss. She is absolutely mortified, and isn’t at all trying to hide the fact. “What’s wrong, Cos?” Raven asks, throwing her arm around her cousin. “You look a little sick.”

“Whose idea was this?”

Raven shrugs. “I have no idea. I guess it was Clarke’s. It’s so awesome though, right? Want to do a duet?”

“Shut up, Raven.” Costia groans, pushing the other woman’s arm off of her shoulders. “Why did she pick this dump? A karaoke bar for God’s sake.”

“She said that Lexa loves places like this.”

“Well, I don’t care.” Costia huffs as she and Raven make their way to the table that the others had found for them. The man that is currently singing is awful and it’s hilarious. Every woman at the table, except for Costia that is, is laughing and having the best time already. 

His song ends and the crowded bar is in a uproar of applause and whistles. “Alright!” Lexa yells as she claps her hand, winking over at her best friend. 

Clarke takes this moment to reach over the table and place a hand on Costia’s forearm. The blonde brings her other hand to cover her mouth as if she’s telling a secret. “I didn’t realize that this was a karaoke bar.”

Costia gives Clarke a knowing look with a sarcastic, but terrified chuckle. Her face makes Clarke do a mental fist pump into the air. 

“This is so great!” Octavia exclaims.

“You’re damn right. I love me some karaoke.” Raven grins and waves the waitress over to their table.

The waitress comes over and Raven is quick to order a drink for herself, followed by Octavia. “What about you guys?” She asks, smiling over Lexa, Clarke, and Costia.

“Margarita.” Clarke and Lexa answer at the same time. They both start to laugh and Clarke leans over to place a hand on Lexa’s knee, using her other hand to point at Lexa and wiggle her finger.

“Blended, no salt for her.” Clarke grins without looking back to the waitress.

Lexa nods as if to say, ‘I’m impressed’. Her smile widens when Clarke sticks her tongue out. “She wants it straight up.” Lexa says, smiling back at Clarke when she feels the blonde squeeze her knee.

They both turn to glare at Raven when they hear her chuckle and say ‘straight’ under her breath. “And for you?” The waitress asks, pointing at Costia from across the table.

“Umm… white wine spritzer?” 

This causes the other four girls to burst into laughter, and they each receive a glare from the one who caused them to laugh. “No can do, hun.” The waitress mutters. “What else? We got beer, we got whiskey…”

“Ultra then. Bottle.” Costia answers with a groan and a roll of her eyes. “And make sure to bring a napkin.” She adds as the waitress scurries off.

As if they weren’t even listening anymore to the exchange going on between the waitress and Costia, Lexa and Clarke began a conversation while Raven and Costia listened in. “Two words for you, Woods.” Clarke grins, as she holds up two fingers.

“Okay.” Lexa chuckles as she leans in closer to Clarke.

“Margaritas.” The blonde holds up one finger. “Gorilla.” She adds, holding up another. The two best friends burst into laughter and receive quizzical looks from their other friends and Costia. Costia looks at Lexa as if she’s never seen her laugh that hard or smile that much. Raven and Octavia definitely take note of the irritation and possible jealousy written all over the girl’s face.

“Memphis!” Lexa exclaims as she and Clarke continue to laugh about their inside joke. Their merriment finally dies down and they turn to face the rest of the table as the waitress delivers their drinks.

“We also need a round of tequila, please.” Octavia tells their server. “The best you have.” The other women look at her with a raised brow. “What? I’m ready to get this party started. So… tell us about this inside joke of yours. I’m dying to hear it.” She leans over onto the table, propping her elbow up and leaning her chin into her awaiting hand. Octavia really wasn’t dying to hear it, she just wanted Lexa and Clarke to be able to bond and talk more, attempting to push Costia out of the picture.

“Okay.” Clarke says with a wide grin as she wiggles in her chair. “Lexa and I were in Memphis one weekend for the music festival.”

“Beale Street?” Raven asks.

“Yep.” Lexa replies, popping the ‘p’ and leaning back into her chair to throw an arm around Costia on one side of her and Clarke on the other.

“Anyway, we also heard about this thing they do at the zoo there. Something about a ‘wild night at the zoo’. You pay a little extra to –“

“A lot extra.” Lexa interrupted. “I paid.”

“Ooohhh…” Raven teased. “Date night?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows. This earns her a kick from both Lexa and Clarke underneath the table.

“Ok. It was pricey, and Miss Woods here was a lovely, chivalrous companion to have with me.” Clarke goes on, grinning over at her best friend who grins right back. Lexa then looks over at Costia with a smile and it quickly falls when she sees the look of anger and disgust on Costia’s face. “You go after hours and get to try all of this amazing wine and mixed drinks and just kind of walk around and check out the exhibits. It was fancy too, so we had to run out and buy some dresses, but it was so worth it.”

Lexa nods in agreement, afraid to say anything that might come off wrong in Costia’s eyes. “So, where do the ‘margaritas’ and ‘gorillas’ come in?” Raven asks.

“We both had way too many of the margaritas.” Lexa replied as she leaned back up near the table.

“They were so good.” Clarke adds.

Lexa nods once again. “And when we went to check out the exhibits, we stopped at the gorilla one. It was really nice and the viewing area was above the outside exhibit. You know how you’re not supposed to feed them?”

“Oh God.” Octavia utters. “Tell me that you two didn’t give a gorilla a margarita.”

“What?” Clarke laughs out loud and so does Lexa. “No! Lexa started throwing animal crackers into the exhibit. It would eat them and then wave its hand up at us to throw it some more. It was hysterical.”

“Where did you get animal crackers?” 

Lexa started to chuckle and her face turned red, but it was Clarke that answered. “We might have swiped them off of a nearby stroller.” The group, except for Costia once again, burst into another fit of laughter as the server came up again with their shots. They all downed them, while Lexa drunk Costia’s too, since her fiancé refused to participate. Costia isn’t happy that Lexa has decided to drink, much less drink with Clarke and her other friends. Costia glares at Clarke and doesn’t go unnoticed. Lexa reaches a hand over to place it on her fiancé’s knee and squeeze.

“What’s wrong?” Lexa asks quietly enough so that only Costia could hear her. Her fiancé doesn’t answer, she only shrugs. “Can you please stop looking at Clarke like that? I’m sure that you’re making her uncomfortable.”

This most definitely earns Lexa and look of irritation. “Are you kidding me? She’s been all over you since she landed. I will happily glare at her anytime I want.”

“Costia,” Lexa says softly, not wanting to start anything in public. Lexa turns slightly so that she can make sure that Clarke and the others aren’t listening to their conversation. They’re not. Lexa turns back around and holds onto one of Costia’s hands now. “Clarke and I are just friends.” Lexa has to admit that even the taste of those words on her tongue leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. “She’s my best friend. You and your friends get touchy sometimes. I don’t say anything about that, because I know that you’re just friends.”

Her fiancé lets out a groan. “The way that she looks at you is not a ‘just friends’ kind of look, Lexa.”

Lexa can’t help but to roll her eyes. “Enough. Please. Let’s enjoy this night.” The brunette utters before squeezing her fiancé’s hand and letting go so that they can rejoin the conversation with the rest of the table. About the time that Lexa starts to talk again, a woman with a microphone leans between her and Costia. She is an older woman with curly blondish/grey hair and she smells of alcohol and cigarettes. Lexa doesn’t miss the scowl that Costia gives her and she starts to wonder when Costia turned into such a cold hearted person, or if she’s been this way the whole time and only now noticed when there’s other people that she cares about involved.

“Hey, pinky.” The older woman speaks into the microphone, laying a hand on her fiancé’s shoulder and clearly commenting on her pink cardigan. “I wanna hear you sing!” The crowd goes wild with whoops of enthusiasm and claps. Costia chuckles a bit and Lexa only knows her to do this when she’s entirely too nervous. The woman laughs with her and so does Lexa. She can’t deny the fact that it would hilarious to see Costia sing karaoke because she’s not sure if she’s ever seen the girl let loose. Not really. Lexa grabs the microphone from the woman and stands up slowly, because she’s definitely feeling the buzz of the tequila shots and her margarita. Costia is freaking out, looking at Lexa like she is going to murder her if she says anything. Before Lexa can stand all of the way up or say anything, Clarke grabs the microphone from her best friend. 

“Lex.” Clarke grins. “Don’t. Costia hates karaoke.” The blonde says, and Costia almost looks grateful for Clarke in that moment. “She hates it.” Lexa laughs at Clarke with a raised brow, wondering what her best friend is up to before she yanks the microphone back and stands all the way up.

“Alright folks!” Lexa says a little too loudly for the microphone causing Clarke, Raven and Octavia to bust out into laughter and look up at their friend. “My – my bride-to-be – “ Lexa says, pointing at Costia sitting there with a look of horror in her pink cardigan. “She’s about to kick some karaoke ass!” There are cheers from all around them and Costia reaches for Lexa’s wrist and gives her an intense scowl.

“Lexa. Stop. This isn’t funny.”

“Babe. It will be fun!” Lexa says into the microphone. Clarke stands up then and takes the microphone back from Lexa causing the brunette to chuckle.

“Lexa. No.” Clarke giggles. “Leave the poor girl alone. She doesn’t want to. Come on.” Once Clarke has the microphone in her hand, she climbs to stand in her chair and clears her throat, making sure to wink at Lexa and then stare down at Costia. “Ladies and gentlemen…” Clarke says proudly into the microphone. “Please give it up for the incredible vocal wonder known as…” Clarke pauses for affect. “Miss Costia Daniels!”

Clarke is almost a thousand percent sure that if they weren’t in a very public place right now, that Costia would murder her here and now. She might actually need to look out of any hit men from here on out. Costia is pissed and Lexa is almost in tears from laughing so hard, as are Raven and Octavia and the rest of the bar. Clarke giggles into the microphone before passing it over the Costia and the older woman behind her starts to pull her up from her seat. Costia has a white-knuckle death grip on the microphone in her one hand and a tight hold on her cardigan with her other as she stands up. She looks like she’s about to rip Clarke a new one. The blonde only smiles and settles down beside Lexa and the other women, where Lexa lays an arm on the back of Clarke’s chair, looking up at her fiancé as if to say ‘you got this’.

The music to Costia’s song begins as she very hesitantly stands up from her seat with the older woman practically pulling her. She looks down at Lexa who is smiling up with her and then she surprises everyone when she literally drops the mic and storms out. “Shit.” Lexa mutters and jumps up to follow her fiancé.

“That went well.” Octavia said.

“Oh, god. You think Lexa will be mad at me?” Clarke asks as she takes the last sip of her margarita.

“What?” Raven asks with a shocked tone. “I don’t think that girl could ever be mad at you.” She laughs. “If she’s mad at anyone, it should be Costia for showing how big of an ass she really is.” Clarke shrugs and the three of them sit there alone while some other person in the far corner of the building sings his song. 

They wait for about ten minutes until Clarke sees Lexa enter the bar again. Alone. The look on her best friend’s face is a mix between depression and anger. The taller brunette plops down in her seat and signals for the server. When the waitress approaches them, Lexa places her order. “Go ahead and bring us two more rounds of tequila.” Lexa’s voice is lower and upsetting. “The best.” The waitress nods and walks off. Clarke reaches over to place a hand on her best friend’s knee. The blonde feels awful that Lexa is so upset on tonight of all nights. This is supposed to be fun for her.

“Where’s Costia?” Raven asks.

“Said she was going home.” Is all that Lexa says with a shrug of her shoulders. Raven and Octavia nod and begin their own conversation because it’s obvious that Lexa isn’t in the mood to speak about it right now.

Clarke squeezes her friend’s knee and leans over so that no one else can eavesdrop on their conversation. “Are you okay?” The blonde asks and Lexa doesn’t answer. “Lex?”

“I’m fine, Clarke.” The brunette answers shortly and almost a little too harshly. Clarke only nods and removes her hand from Lexa’s knee. Lexa immediately misses the warmth of her best friend’s hand on her body and she internally curses herself for even thinking like that. The buzz of the alcohol isn’t as strong as she needs it to be right now, and like a saving grace, the server walks up with a large tray of shots. Lexa immediately grabs a glass and holds it in the air, waiting for her friends to grab their own. “To marriage.” She deadpans and doesn’t really care if anyone catches on to her sarcasm or not. She’s upset. She’s upset that Costia is being this way. Lexa knows that Costia is jealous of her relationship with Clarke, but there’s nothing that Lexa can do about that. She’s not going to drop Clarke out of her life. She’s her one constant. The one thing in her life that never wavers or fails her. Lexa turns up the shot and relishes in the burning sensation that the liquid causes in her throat. She immediately reaches over for another and does the same thing, ignoring the look of protest on Clarke’s face.

After a few minutes of almost silence, Lexa begins to laugh and cut up again with her friends. Raven and Octavia don’t miss the fact that every few minutes, Lexa scoots her chair a little bit closer to Clarke’s until their thighs are practically touching.

Another little while passes, and a couple of more shots, and Raven and Octavia decide that they want to do a duet. Clarke and Lexa watch their friends turn ‘Baby One More Time’ into a duet and laugh until their sides are splitting in pain. Halfway through the song, Lexa reaches over and places a warm hand about midway up Clarke’s thigh and squeezes. Neither of them thinks anything of it because that’s just how they are. The brunette doesn’t retract her hand until Raven and Octavia are through with their Britney cover and Clarke decides that it’s time for she and Lexa to sing their go to song.

“I hope that you two are ready to be obliterated.” Lexa says confidently to the other two girls as she stands beside her best friend.

“I think that you’re all talk, Woods.” Raven teases.

Octavia leans over to speak to Raven. “Get your phone ready.”

“Why?”

“If they do the song that they usually do, it’s too good to not record.” Octavia laughs and Raven does as she’s told.

Somehow, Clarke manages to talk the older woman from earlier into letting her and Lexa pick their own song. They always sing the same song because they find it to be a duet crowd favorite. It’s a good thing that the microphones are cordless because Lexa and Clarke work the area like they’re performing at their own damn concert as always. The music and vocals of ‘Islands in the Stream’ fill the bar as well as the cheers and hollers from the crowd. Clarke and Lexa knock it out of the park as per usual. 

The four friends make their way out of the bar, laughing in their own drunken stupors. Well, Clarke isn’t drunk. She knew that at least one of them should stay fairly sober so that they didn’t get into any trouble. Raven and Octavia decide to call it a night and Clarke calls them a cab to take them back to their respective homes. Lexa made Clarke know several times that she was starving so the two of the walked a little ways down the street to a food truck and grabbed a couple of burgers.

Now, here they sit on a stoop in front of a random building in downtown Chicago, eating burgers and making small talk as they do so. Lexa moans as she takes another bite of her burger and it makes Clarke giggle. “What are you laughing at, Blondie?” Lexa asks with a smirk on her face and her mouth full of food. She’s drunk and Clarke finds it hilarious and adorable at the same time.

“Nothing.” Clarke answers. “You’re just too cute when you’re drunk.”

“I am not cute.”

“You are.” The blonde says, smiling and leaning in to nudge Lexa with her shoulder. “And the more you deny it, the cuter it is.” Lexa rolls her eyes and they continue to eat in silence for another few minutes.

“So…” Lexa begins, looking over to Clarke with a small, shy smile. “You were pretty shocked when I told you.” It wasn’t a question and Clarke knew exactly what Lexa was talking about. The night that Lexa spoke with Clarke on the phone and told her best friend that she was getting married.

“Shocked?” Clarke says with a mouth full of burger causing Lexa to laugh. Once the blonde swallowed her bite she spoke again. “No.” She answered untruthfully. Lexa scooted closer until their arms and thighs touched, causing Clarke to shake her head a little bit. “Okay… a little.” Clarke says again causing Lexa to chuckle into her burger. “A lot.” The blonde says again. She doesn’t want to lie. She can’t lie. That admission by Lexa, that night on the phone, almost killed her. Lexa looks almost a little bit sad at this. Like she can read into what Clarke is saying in that moment. “I fell of the bed.”

Lexa looks at her best friend with wide eyes and the hint of a smile now, nodding her head up and down as if she remembered something. “That explains the ‘thump’.”

A few more moments of silence goes by as they finish the rest of their food, until Clarke decides to speak bravely, even though Lexa is terribly drunk. “Do you love her?”

Without looking up, Lexa answers. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What?” Clarke asks with a surprised face. “Of course it matters, Lexa. That’s all that matters. Do you love her? Are you happy? Because you don’t seem it.”

Lexa lets out a long, audible sigh before answering her friend. “I thought I did.” She looks terribly uncomfortable, Clarke notices and takes her friend’s hand in her own and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Lexa squeezes back before lacing their fingers together and rubbing her thumb on the back of the blonde’s hand. It’s too intimate a feeling for two people that are supposedly just friends. Too warm an act for one woman that is to be married to another in just two days. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter.” Lexa clears her throat and still doesn’t meet Clarke’s blue eyes with her green ones. “I can never have what truly makes me happy.”

The sound of Lexa’s voice cracking a small bit almost breaks Clarke’s heart. “And what is that?” Clarke asks.

Lexa finally brings her eyes up to meet Clarke’s and there’s a burn there inside of both of them that neither of them knows the other has. They’re almost too naïve for their feelings for one another. It’s sad. Lexa shakes her head, sadly. “Nothing. Can we go back to the hotel now?” The brunette asks, standing up and pulling Clarke with her, never letting go of her hand. “I’m getting tired.”

“Yeah.” Clarke answers softly, before she hails them a cab to take them back to their hotel.

 

//

 

When they arrive back at the Langham, Clarke walks Lexa to her room; the brunette stumbling over her own feet the whole way there, causing them both to laugh. Once they’re there, Clarke is about to leave when Lexa grabs her wrist. “Stay the night with me?” Her voice sounds frail and fragile and Clarke can’t say ‘no’ to her.

“Of course.” Clarke smiles softly. “But I’ll have to borrow some pajamas.”

“No problem.” Lexa grins goofily before they enter the room. Lexa points Clarke to where her pajamas are and the blonde grabs some before heading into the bathroom. Lexa strips there in the room before throwing on a pair of silk pajama shorts that are much to short for her long legs and a cut-off t-shirt that she’s had since college. She practically falls into the king-sized bed and pulls the duvet over her legs.

Clarke exits the bathroom a few minutes later in a t-shirt that is way too big and no shorts. Lexa’s thin figured shorts wouldn’t be that comfortable for her to sleep in so that’s why she went with an oversized shirt. She walks sheepishly over to the bed before jumping in as well, causing Lexa to giggle. As soon as the brunette takes notice of what Clarke is wearing, or in this case, not wearing, her throat goes dry. “What’s that look for?” Clarke asks.

Lexa’s bravery kicks in and she scoots a little closer. Too close for them to have this much space in the bed. “You look good in my shirt.” Lexa shrugs causing Clarke to blush.

“You’re drunk.” Clarke laughs. “You should sleep.” Clarke remembers that Octavia is staying in this hotel too, so she quickly turns around to text her friend. She has a feeling that if she is left with Lexa alone, like this, then she might do something really stupid.

CLARKE (1:03AM): Come to Lexa’s room. I need you to be a buffer.

The response is almost immediate. 

OCTAVIA (1:04AM): On it.

Clarke lies the phone back down on the nightstand and faces Lexa again, who seems to be a bit closer now. “Lex?” Clarke whispers. Her voice wavers a bit because Lexa’s green eyes seem to be looking deep into her soul, and that always seems to make her feel uneven. A good uneven, if that’s possible. Lexa hums in answer to her name on Clarke’s tongue. “You realize that we are in a king-sized bed, right?” Clarke giggles.

“And?” Lexa scoots even closer. There are only a few inches between their faces and Clarke can feel her best friend’s hot breath on her face. She can smell all of the tequila on her breath.

“Lexa.”

“I just want to be close to you.” Lexa admits and Clarke knows that Lexa would never, ever say something like that when she was sober. Lexa lifts her arm as if to move it closer and touch the blonde lying across from her. “Is this okay?” Clarke really, really should say no. She should really back up and build some sort of pillow wall between them. They are just friends. Best friends. Lexa is drunk. Lexa is getting married in two days. 

So naturally, Clarke answers with a breathy, “Yes.” She’s too far-gone to care at this point. In the back of her mind, she is thinking to herself, ‘Where the hell is Octavia?’

Lexa’s warm, soft hand rests itself on Clarke’s bare hip. Her shirt has been pushed up in the way that she is laying on her side. Lexa gradually moves her hand up Clarke’s side, underneath the material of the t-shirt. Clarke closes her eyes at the feeling and she tries to hold back the gasp that aches to leave her mouth. She feels Lexa scoot even closer, until their bodies are flat against each other as they lie there on their sides. Clarke’s eyes are still shut tight. She really should will herself up out of this bed. She should go back to her own room, but this feels too right, even though her subconscious is telling her that it’s wrong.

Clarke feels more breath now and she’s too afraid to open her eyes. She feels Lexa’s nose brush against her own and that gasp that she’s been holding on to finally leaves her mouth. “Lexa… we can’t – “

Before Clarke can finish speaking, there’s a loud bang on the hotel room door and Clarke immediately jumps up. ‘Thank God.’ She thinks to herself. She practically sprints over to the door and opens it for Octavia. The look on Clarke’s face says everything that Octavia needs to know, so the two of them pile into bed with Lexa in between them.

“Hey, Lex.” Octavia whispers. “Couldn’t sleep. Is it cool if I bunk with you and Clarkey?”

Lexa only hums and turns to lie flat on her back like Octavia and Clarke are doing. It doesn’t take long for Octavia to fall asleep, because she starts snoring lightly, immediately. There are no more words spoken verbally that night between Clarke and Lexa. Right before she doses off, Clarke feels Lexa reach for her hand and lace their fingers together. She smiles to herself, but it’s a sad smile and she’s glad that Lexa can’t see it. The only thing running through her mind right now is how much she hopes that Lexa can’t remember this in the morning. 

Or maybe… just maybe, she wants her to remember everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below and feel to leave kudos too. ;) I will try to have another update up as soon as possible. Thank you all for reading and being truly incredible!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90
> 
> P.S. If you ever wonder where I come up with some of these random stories (like the margarita/gorilla story), that's because about ninety percent of the stories that I tell within each fic that I do, either happened to me or someone that I'm close to. The gorilla story actually happened with me and my ex, except it was an Orangutan. And like, the 'lips tattoo' on Lexa's hip in 'To Love You More' actually happened as well. Haha. Just a little random information for you guys! :) Love you all!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a plan put in place. How will it turn out?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, guys? Here's the newest update. Just letting those of you that have seen the movie know that I switch something up pretty big in this chapter. It will throw it off from the movie for a while, but don't fret... I still will get the key/recognizable scenes in there somewhere!

“Octavia…. Octavia – wake the hell up.” Lexa pushes at the small brunette headed girl in her bed. The woman that she is attempting to wake up finally starts to stir after what seems like an eternity of pushing and prodding. “Finally.” Lexa mutters, letting out an exasperated sigh.

Octavia sits up slowly in bed, and moves to sit up against the headboard. “What?” The smaller woman is clearly annoyed at being woken up.

“Where’s Clarke?”

“What?” The girl asks again, opening her eyes wider and looking at the other side of the bed and then swiveling her head around to take in the rest of the surrounding area. “I don’t know. She usually gets up early, doesn’t she? I’m sure she headed to her room to take a shower or something.”

“Maybe.” Lexa utters, standing from her place on the edge of the bed and walking around the room in a weird pacing form. Octavia can tell that her friend is worried about something.

“What’s going on, Lex?”

It’s almost as if Lexa doesn’t hear Octavia at first. There’s no physical or verbal sign shown that she had heard. Lexa’s nerves are practically shot. She is attempting to rid them from her body, but all she can think about is how badly she fucked everything up last night. She had almost kissed Clarke. Her best friend. ‘I’m getting married tomorrow.’ Lexa thinks to herself. ‘Who does that sort of thing?’ Her mind is whirling with various thoughts and sentiments. Hopefully, Clarke thinks that Lexa was too drunk last night and definitely doesn’t remember anything this morning. Hopefully, Clarke won’t be upset with Lexa about the whole ‘almost kiss’ thing. Hopefully, her best friend won’t bring it up at all. Hopefully.

“Earth to Lexa.” Octavia says, attempting to get her taller friend’s attention. It seems to work this time because Lexa’s eyes widen in surprise when she turns around. She must not have heard Octavia sneak up behind her.

“What?”

“What the hell is going on with you? Where did you go just now?” Her friend asks.

Lexa tries to rid her mind of all of her unrequited feelings for her best friend. The past several years, being around Clarke, she had learned to suppress her romantic feelings for the blonde. She knew after they had tried to be more than friends those first few months of knowing each other and Clarke just wasn’t in to the whole relationship thing, that she should hide back her feelings. It’s just really hard to do with Clarke is just so… Clarke. So perfect. So beautiful and friendly, and loveable and any other lovely adjective that she can rack up in her mind. Clarke doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. She knows this. ‘I’m engaged to Costia for Christ’s sake.’ She thinks.

“No where.” Lexa answers her friend, finally. “I’m sorry… just have a bad hangover.” She tries to smirk and hopes that Octavia buys into the flat out lie that she just told her.

Luckily, for her, she doesn’t have to wait around and find out, because just then her cell phone rings and she answers it without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Lex?”

Lexa looks up to Octavia and gives her a polite smile before the other girls mouths, ‘I’m gonna go,’ to her. Lexa nods her head in acknowledgement and turns back to speak into her phone. “Hey, Cos. Good morning.”

“Morning.” Her fiancé doesn’t sound like she’s in that great of a mood, which should surprise her really, after everything that happened last night. “Can we meet for breakfast? I need to talk to you.”

“Uhh – yeah. I can meet you in half an hour at The Belmont for brunch if you want.” Lexa answers her bride-to-be.

“That sounds good. See you then, babe.” Costia says before hanging up the phone. 

Lexa stands in her spot for what feels like a lifetime before she is able to move. Her mind still running wild with the thoughts of Clarke’s breath against her own lips. The feeling of brushing her nose against her best friend’s and wanting desperately to close the gap between them. Lexa’s heart physically ached from the pain of this unreciprocated love that she has for Clarke. She knows that Clarke loves her… she’s just never been in love with her, and Lexa would just have to be happy with that.

But that was the thing…

She can’t be.

 

//

 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

The sound of her hotel room door being banged on three loud times shakes Clarke from her reflections and she quickly gets up to answer it. When she slings the door open, she finds Octavia. She tries not to let the disappointment show on her face, because she had secretly hoped that it was Lexa. “Octavia.” Clarke nods, walking back into the room, leaving the door open for her friend to make her way in as well.

“You look like shit.” 

Clarke lets out a small chuckle because she knows. She knows that she looks like shit. She barely slept at all. All that she could think about was how badly she wanted Lexa to finally close the distance between their mouths last night and pull her friend into a passionate kiss. To finally be able to show her how much she actually means to her. “Thanks, O.”

“What’s going on with you?”

Without hesitation, she answers. “Lexa almost kissed me last night.”

It was almost comical how bugged out Octavia’s dark eyes became, and if Clarke wouldn’t have been so down and out about everything, she probably would have laughed. “What? When? That’s great! Why didn’t she?”

“It’s not great, O. She was drunk and if you wouldn’t have knocked on her room door when you did, I would have done something extremely dense, like kiss her back.” Clarke answers quickly, feeling out of breath from her emotions when she does so.

“How would that have been bad? You love her.” Octavia states before plopping down on the sofa that was furnished in Clarke’s hotel room.

“I do love her, but it wouldn’t have been right. She was drunk. She’s engaged to Costia and Lexa would be devastated if she cheated. I know her. It would eat her alive.” The blonde says, pacing back in forth in front of her small friend.

Octavia nods in understanding. She truly wishes that she could help her friends. She knows how much they care for each other. She knows how happy they make each other. “If only she remembered it. That would be good, right?” Octavia asks. “I mean… that would mean that she could just come right out and tell you how she really feels.”

“She was drunk, Octavia.” Clarke sounds more than a little frustrated as she runs her fingers through her blonde hair before getting caught in a tangle and letting out a loud groan. “God… this is such a mess. I’m such a mess.” She plops down on the couch beside her friend and lays her head over onto Octavia’s shoulder. “She was drunk.” Clarke repeats herself. “She didn’t know what she was doing.”

They sit there together for a while not speaking, because honestly, neither one of them knows what to say. Their chances are dwindling down. Lexa is getting married tomorrow. Octavia has no idea of what Clarke can do other than come out and just flat out tell Lexa that she’s in love with her, but she knows that Clarke won’t do that. Clarke won’t jeopardize her friendship with Lexa for a ‘maybe’. After a few minutes, there’s another knock on Clarke’s door. She let’s out a deep sigh and gets up to walk the short distance to see who it was this time.

“Wells!” Clarke grins and practically jumps into her friend’s arms, causing the man to laugh out loud. “What the hell are you doing here? In Chicago?”

“I thought that my friend might could use a little back up.” He grins. “How are things going here on the frontlines?”

Clarke’s smile falls when she realizes what he’s talking about. Over the next few minutes, after saying his ‘hellos’ to Octavia, Clarke starts to explain in detail everything that has happened between she and Lexa since she’s arrived in the Windy City. Both of her friends surround her in a tight group hug and hold her there, showing how much love and support that they have for her.

“This is my whole life’s happiness.” Clarke finally says a little dramatically. “I have to be ruthless.”

Wells chuckles a bit. “It’s going to be okay, Clarke.” He utters, leaning over to place a soft kiss to Clarke’s temple. 

Clarke let’s out a long sigh and curls up in to Wells even closer. “I can make her happier than Costia can… and yes… maybe I am being a little bitchy and maybe even breaking Costia’s heart in the short run, but…” She doesn’t finish. She gets too lost in her own train of thought.

“Clarke…” Wells starts in again. He waits a minute because he’s not really sure about how to phrase what he wants to say to his friend. “Do you really love her… or is this just about winning?” Wells has known Clarke for a few years now, and if there’s one thing that Clarke Griffin is, it’s competitive. She hates losing. Maybe she just thinks she loves Lexa. Maybe she just doesn’t want to “lose” her best friend. “Seriously.”

Clarke looks down to where her hands are now clasped in her lap and she swallows at nothing. “In the beginning, it was mostly this prior prerogative… she belonged to me.” The blonde sounds as if she’s out of breath and Wells tightens his grip around her shoulders, showing her that he’s here for her. “But now, when I’m with her…” Clarke groans and lifts her hands to her eyes to wipe away the tears that have started to fall. “She’s just so amazing. I mean, how come I never realized that when I could have had her? She loved me, and I was too scared to be in a relationship. I was stupid.”

Wells smiles softly, even though Clarke isn’t looking at him. He looks over at Octavia who just intent on listening closely. “It’s astounding the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.” This causes Clarke to chuckle through her sobs and playfully slap her friend’s leg.

Clarke let’s her laughter die down before speaking again. “Wells… if she was feeling what I’m feeling, then she’d know how I feel.” Wells looks at her like that makes not a lick of sense, but he says nothing. “It’s awful.”

“Clarke, just tell her.” Clarke looks up to her friend through her tear-glassed eyes. “Tell her that you love her.” The blonde rolls her eyes and scoffs at the idea. “Tell her the truth. Tell her that you’ve loved her for nine years, but that you were afraid of love. Tell her that you were afraid of needing.”

Clarke scoffs again, but she’s most definitely been listening attentively. “Needing what?”

“To belong to someone.” He states assuredly and tears begin to fall from Clarke’s face again. He tries to soothe her by wrapping around her even tighter. “We all are, babe.” He grins down at her, and all that Clarke can think about is how lucky she is to have him here in her weakest hour. “Tell her that this is by far the cruelest, hardest, daftest moment to do this to her…but there it is. She’s got to choose.”

The blonde let’s out another sigh, but sits up straighter on the couch, rubbing the last of the tears away from her eyes. “God… this sucks. I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t do that to her. I can’t make her choose.”

Octavia’s eyes go wide after a few moments of quietness. A proverbial light bulb goes off in her head and Wells and Clarke look at her with furrowed brows. “What is it, Octavia?” The man asks in confusion.

“I just had a fantastic idea!” She grins widely. “It’s batshit crazy, but it’s fantastic.”

“What?” Clarke asks, sitting up with a little bit of hope flashing through her eyes. “What is it?”

“Lexa doesn’t know Wells, does she?”

Wells and Clarke shake their heads in unison and Octavia’s smile widens as she claps her hands together once.

“Great.” The smaller woman smiles and jumps up from her spot on the couch. “So, Clarke… you know how Lexa has almost been the jealous type?” The blonde nods her head. “If she has any romantic feelings for you, then don’t you think that she would hate seeing you happy and in love with someone else?” The smile on Octavia’s face is manic as she looks between Clarke and Wells before both of their eyes go wide in realization.

“Are you saying that we should make her think that Wells and I are together?” Clarke asks, sitting up straighter on the sofa and Wells laughs at the thought.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Clarke.” Octavia grins before she looks to Wells. “You in?”

“Damn straight.” He smirks. “This is going to be great.”

“I don’t know, guys. I don’t want to lie to her.” The blonde says.

“It will be fine, Clarke. Wells will be great because he won’t get attached to you and fall in love.” Octavia laughs, as does Wells. “Wells… give Clarke that ring on your finger.”

“What?” Wells and Clarke say in unison.

“You two are going to make it seem like Wells came here on a romantic whim and proposed to you over breakfast.”

“Propose?!” Clarke sputters out. “Octavia… there’s no way that she’ll believe that. She probably won’t even believe it when I tell her that we’re together. I would have mention something to her before now.”

“No… you can just tell her that you’ve been looking for the right time to tell her and that you didn’t want to steal the spotlight off of her wedding weekend. It’s perfect, Clarke. Really.” Octavia states excitedly. “You can tell her this evening at the dinner with Costia’s family and the wedding party.”

“I feel like this is a really bad idea.” The blonde says quietly, dipping her head down into her hands. Wells places a reassuring hand on her back and starts to rub small circles there.

“It will be fine, Clarke, but if you don’t want to do this… then we don’t have to. It’s your choice.”

Clarke stands up to pace around the room, knowing full well that both of her friends’ eyes are on her intently. After what seems to be only a couple of minutes, she spins around to look at Octavia. “Make sure that Raven knows about this too. Just so that she doesn’t freak out when I tell them all tonight.”

Octavia nods her head before reaching into her back pocket and grabbing her cell phone. She walks off to call and fill their new friend in on the outrageous plan.

“Okay.” Clarke breathes. “Let’s do this.”

 

//

 

Lexa, being the amazing friend that she is, is standing outside the restaurant where she is meant to have dinner with a large amount of Costia’s family and friends, as well as the wedding party, waiting for Clarke. She can’t help but be nervous. She hasn’t seen or spoken to Clarke since last night… when she “drunkenly” almost kissed her best friend, admitting that she “just wanted to be close” to Clarke. Lexa only arrived around five minutes ago. Another few minutes seems to pass by and Lexa catches a familiar blonde head in the sea of people along the sidewalk of the busy street. Once the crowd parts a little more, she notices that Clarke is most definitely not alone. There’s a man, a man that Lexa has never seen before, and he has his arm slung around her best friend. The both of them are laughing at something with their heads thrown back. They look genuinely happy, and Lexa just wants to know who this stranger is.

“Hey, Lex!” Clarke calls out as she approaches Lexa.

Lexa meets her halfway and pulls her into a hug before kissing Clarke on the cheek. “You look stunning, Clarke.” The brunette says matter-of-factly as she looks over Clarke’s shoulder and eyes the man who seems to be lingering back a good ways from them now. Clarke really does look gorgeous. She has on an ankle length, high-waisted maxi skirt in Lexa’s favorite color, (Navy. Just like Clarke’s maid of honor dress.), which would be fine if the slit in the skirt didn’t come up all the way past Clarke’s mid thigh. 

Lexa immediately tries to swallow the dry lump that seems to have formed in her throat and she averts her eyes, hoping that Clarke didn’t just catch her staring hungrily at the beautiful, pale leg that is very, very visible. Clarke pairs the skirt with a pair of white pumps and thin, grey sweater tucked in with the sleeves pushed back. Her blonde hair is flowing freely over exposed shoulders and all that Lexa can think about is running her own long fingers through the curls. She has to immediately scold herself mentally for thinking about another woman in this way.

“Me?” Clarke grins and Lexa notices a slight blush starting to make it’s way onto Clarke’s face. “More like you. I mean… holy shit.” Clarke grins again and it was now Lexa’s turn to blush. Lexa was wearing a dress, which at first looked like a high-waisted black pencil skirt with a wide-sleeved, forest-green tank top tucked in. The cut of the shirt showed off Lexa’s gorgeous, toned and tanned arms and the shortness of the pencil skirt, if at all possible, made Lexa’s long legs look that much better.

Lexa finally decides to rip the Band-Aid off and go ahead and ask Clarke who this man, that had his arm around her, was. The brunette nods her chin over Clarke’s shoulder towards the guy. “Who’s this?”

Clarke had almost forgotten about Wells being there, and quite frankly, the whole plan in general. She was too caught up in Lexa. Lexa’s smile. Lexa’s eyes. Lexa’s legs. Lexa’s smell. Everything was just too much. 

“Oh.” The blonde says in answer to Lexa’s inquisition. She brings her hand up to Lexa’s toned stomach and gently pushes her back a little bit so that the two of them had a little more privacy. Lexa’s heart was starting to beat faster at the touch of Clarke’s hand to her abdomen and the fact that Clarke looked so serious right now. She looked almost scared and in turn, it made Lexa feel scared. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now… about this.”

Clarke is nervous and Lexa can tell. What is she so nervous to tell her best friend? “About what?” The brunette questions.

The blonde is fidgety and she can’t even bear to look Lexa in her beautiful, green eyes. She doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t want to lie to her best friend, but she has to know how Lexa truly feels about her. Clarke has to know, so she sticks with the plan. She sticks with being faked engaged to Wells so that she can see if Lexa become jealous or not.

This is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.

Clarke turns around to look at Wells for moral support and the man quickly gives her a wide smile. Lexa doesn’t miss it and she immediately clenches her jaw tighter. She doesn’t know why. It just happens. “Clarke.” Her best friend spins back around to face her, breathless and a little spastic. “Who’s that guy?” She repeats her earlier question.

“Uhh… it –uh – it’s Wells.” She stumbles over her words and instantly feels like the biggest fool. “I – uh… I’ve told you about Wells.” Clarke squeaks out quickly. “He’s a colleague.” A colleague, Clarke? Really?

“Yeah.” Lexa nods her head. She recalls Clarke talking about the man every once in a while over the phone. That still doesn’t really answer the question that she really wants to know. “What’s he doing here? Are you guys working this weekend? Is there art around here that needs to be critiqued?” The brunette tries to tease, but it may have come off as a little bit insulting.

“No.” Clarke mutters, looking down at the pavement and shaking her head. The blonde feels her heart beating a scar across the inside of her chest and her breathing begins to quicken. She thinks that this is what a heart attack feels like. This is how she’s going to die. “He –uh… he’s here to be with me.”

“Why?”

“Becau – because he’s my friend. He’s my good friend.” Clarke shrugs her shoulders and let’s out a sarcastic chuckle. “My best friend these days.” And shit… she really didn’t mean to say that. It’s not entirely true, but it’s not entirely false either.

“Oh.” Lexa absentmindedly takes a step backwards. It’s a small step, but Clarke notices and she feels her heart shatter at the look of almost ruin on her best friend’s face. 

“We’ve all just been busy.” Clarke adds softly and apologetically. “I – uh… Lex.” The brunette still looks defeated as she raises a brow. “We’re together. Wells and I. We’re… um, getting married.” The words spill out of her mouth and each one feels like a shard of glass cutting into her tongue and from the look on Lexa’s face… they’re cutting her too. Lexa’s emerald eyes are wide. They’re scared and skeptical. Clarke sees the moment that Lexa starts to feel out of the loop. She sees the moment that her best friend seems to lose a little bit of trust in her.

“Wh – why? I mean… how long have you been together?” The brunette practically chokes out, but she’s trying her best to stay strong and emotionless in front of the blonde. She doesn’t want Clarke to see how terribly and utterly devastated she truly is at this confession. “Why haven’t you told me before now?”

Clarke starts to say everything that she, Octavia and Wells had practiced over the past few hours in her hotel room. “It all just kind of snuck up on us. We’ve been good friends for a while now and a few months ago… it became something more.” Clarke looks down again. She’s ashamed. She’s ashamed that she’s lying to the one person who she’s always been honest with. The one person that she loves unconditionally. “I didn’t tell you about our engagement because I didn’t want to steal the thunder from yours and Costia’s weekend. This is about you two.” The blonde tries to smile up at her friend finally. “I’m sorry that I just kind of sprung this on you now.”

Lexa decides there and then that Clarke Griffin would never love Lexa the way that she loves her. She feels sick. Physically sick, but she doesn’t show it. No. She throws on her best fake smile. If Clarke is happy… then she should try to be happy for her best friend. Right? That’s what friends do. She pulls her friend in for a light hug. It’s stiff and a little awkward so Lexa decides to pull back. “I –uh... I’m happy for you, Clarke. Really. There’s something that I need to tell you to. Costia and I had breakfast this morning and the priest that is supposed to marry us tomorrow had an emergency come up. He can’t do the ceremony tomorrow and Costia won’t do the wedding without him. Supposedly, he’s been their priest since she was born.” Lexa rolls her eyes. “Anyways… uh – I’m sorry that you wasted the past couple of days here, but we moved the wedding to next Sunday.”

“What?” Clarke’s sure her face is in a state of shock because really… she had a whole other week to plot this out. Dammit. 

“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Lexa shrugs. “I have to go back to New York for the week. Running a story on a couple of the new Yankee rookies.”

“Is Costia going with you?” 

“No. Just me. She has to stay and tend to things around here.”

“You can stay with me.” Clarke rushes out in one breath and realizes that she just sounded way too eager to have Lexa stay with her for a week. The two of them. Alone. No Costia. “I –uh… I mean if you want.”

Lexa knows that she shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t. The closer she is to Clarke, the harder it is to stay away from her feelings. “What about Wells?”

“Oh… uh… he doesn’t live with me. Not yet. He will be busy most of the week anyway.” She doesn’t really know that, but she will make sure to tell Wells to give her space this upcoming week.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” Lexa answers. And she knows that it’s a terrible idea, but she can’t help herself. She can’t stay away. Not from Clarke. “If you’re sure that’s okay, then I would be really grateful to stay with you. Thank you, Clarke.”

“Of course.” Clarke smiles tentatively before Lexa walks the short distance over to Wells and holds out her hand with a small grin. It’s fake of course, but they don’t need to know that.

“Wells.” The brunette nods. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

The man smiles his trademark, wide smile and it’s even harder for Lexa to hate him. He shakes her hand firmly. “You as well, Lexa.”

“Congratulations.” They both say in unison before laughing uncomfortably.

“Shall we?” Lexa gestures to the door, looking between Clarke and Wells. The two of them nod and follow the taller woman into the restaurant. 

 

//

 

Lexa, Clarke, and Wells all sit at a large dining table in the back of a really nice restaurant, that apparently Costia’s father owns, waiting for Costia and her family to arrive. The three haven’t said much to each other since they had gotten seated; both Lexa and Wells were obviously trying to create a little bit of small talk, but it just came off a really awkward when there would just be a one worded answer. Mostly from Lexa’s end.

Wells notices that Lexa isn’t really looking or talking with Clarke at the moment either. The brunette practically has her head on a swivel as she looks randomly around the dining area where they are seated. He decides that if Clarke isn’t going to help make this plan work, then he was going to have to take some initiative. The man slowly brings his arm to put it around his “fiancé” and Clarke tries to push him off when Lexa isn’t looking. The blonde can’t keep her eyes off of Lexa’s profile or her toned arms and legs. She keeps pushing Wells’ arm until she turns around to mouth, “Stop.” His grin widens because he is so going to torture Clarke right now. 

Wells leaves his arm around Clarke’s shoulders, pulling his chair closer to her, as he brings his free hand to lean across his body and hold onto Clarke’s thigh. The look that she gives him is priceless and she still tries to move him away, but then Lexa looks their way and they both stop fidgeting. Lexa gives them both a small, half-smile. Clarke can tell that it’s forced and her heart aches to tell Lexa that she is most certainly not with Wells. “Is something wrong?” The blonde asks her best friend, trying to get a feel for what’s going on in Lexa’s mind right now. Her friend seems to be in her own world.

Lexa shrugs and squirms in her chair a bit, looking down at her hands that are neatly folded together in her lap. “No. I was just – I guess hearing you talk about Wells…” She nods her head in the man’s direction. “It just – it always seemed as if… I don’t know – “ Lexa struggles with her words and Clarke honestly can’t help but find it adorable and endearing. “It always sounded like Wells was –“

“Gay?” Wells pipes up, causing Clarke to turn around and glare at him before returning her eyes to her best friend.

“Actually…” Lexa answers quietly. “Yes.”

Wells erupts into a loud fit of laughter; his deep voice filling the eatery with his boisterous voice. He only continues; holding out his laughter and looking back and forth between Clarke and Lexa. Lexa just has a confused/amused look on her face while Clarke looks completely and utterly embarrassed. The blonde can’t help but think how bad of an idea this was.

‘I’m such a fucking idiot.’ She thinks to herself. ‘And I’m going to kill Wells.’

Wells’ laughter dies down just a bit. “Everyday misunderstanding.” Clarke realizes that she has to just dive in with him or else it would really turn out looking like a fake relationship. She joins in the laughter, slightly, twisting in her chair a bit and patting him on the chest. 

“It really is.” Clarke chuckles out. “Because – uh – Wells likes to pretend that,” She pauses a bit before making herself laugh again, but this time it’s a genuine one because she keeps thinking to herself how stupid this sounds, but she says it anyways. “Wells likes to pretend that he’s gay.” She laughs through every word and so does her “fiancé”.

Lexa forces a laugh for a short moment, as her eyes crinkle still in confusion. She has no fucking idea what is going on and why Clarke is being so strange, and why Clarke would hold the information that she was engaged to someone from her. “Why would you do that?”

All of their laughter dissipates into the thin air amongst them. Clarke’s face goes blank because she hadn’t thought that far. She truthfully didn’t think that Lexa would think to ask ‘why’.

“Oh.” Wells’ smile then starts to reappear and he pinches Clarke’s shoulder. “I find that it attracts women.” He says as he leans in and starts placing kisses to Clarke’s neck. The blonde truly just wants to gag, but she can’t. Not with Lexa watching. Clarke subtly pushes Wells off of her and leans in to place and quick peck to his lips and chuckle before she turns back to face her best friend.

The blonde shrugs at Lexa’s interested look. “Worked for me.” She wants to slap Wells when she feels him nuzzle into her neck again. Luckily she doesn’t have to because the doors fly open and Costia and her family march in, followed by Octavia and Raven. They both give Clarke and Wells thumbs up. Clarke can only roll her eyes.

The table fills quickly with several people; upwards of twenty. Clarke only recognizes Costia, obviously, and her parents as well as Raven and Octavia. The others are complete strangers.

“So, Clarkey…” Octavia grins. “Did you tell everyone the big news?” Clarke practically gives herself whiplash as she quickly turns to look at her shorter friend. If she could, she would flip her the bird right now. 

“Umm – I… we,” Clarke stutters, but then of course Wells’ loud mouth opens up.

“We told Lexa.” He says with a wide grin and he happens to notice the confused look on Costia and everyone else faces. “We’re getting married!” He practically screams and Clarke wants so bad to slump down into her seat and never see any of these people every again.

Except Lexa of course.

“What?” Costia practically jumps up and her smile is huge and actually genuine. Of course it is. Now she thinks that Clarke isn’t going to be after her woman. Clarke scoffs internally at the evil woman. “That’s fantastic!” She claps and so do her mother and everyone else at the table. She hears several ‘congratulations’ and ‘beautiful couple’ mumbled throughout the table. “Isn’t that great, Lex?” Costia asks her fiancé, scooting closer as she does so. She presses a long lingering kiss to Lexa’s cheek and Clarke doesn’t miss the side glance that Costia gives Clarke while her lips are pressed to her best friend.

“Yes.” Is all that Lexa says as she puts on her best fake smile. Clarke’s heart sinks once again. This is so wrong.

“I think I’m going to cry.” Costia says, bringing her hand up to her chest and Clarke honestly wants to jump over the table and knock the bitch out. Clarke can tell how full of shit Costia is and it makes her stomach churn.

“Me too.” Clarke says awkwardly, looking down at her hands in her own lap. Wells is quick to take one of hers in his and give it a squeeze. Clarke can tell though that it’s a friend squeeze and not a fake fiancé squeeze. Wells is just letting her know that he’s still right here with her. 

After a while, after everyone had gotten their food and most people were occupied eating their dinner, Costia starts another conversation that makes Clarke want to hit her once again. She leans over like she is going to try and be quiet about it, but she’s loud enough that Lexa and Wells hear her as well. “I have to be honest, Clarke.” Her voice drives Clarke insane. The blonde raises an eyebrow. “I was really worried about you. After all of the stories that Lexa has told me about you… all of those broken relationships. All of those different lovers.” Clarke knew that Lexa had told Costia about how Clarke wasn’t a relationship person, and honestly, Clarke wasn’t. That’s the whole reason that she didn’t stay with Lexa in the beginning. She was scared of relationships. Scared of love. It was weakness. Always had been, but hearing the way that Costia said it made her feel like an awful human being. “It must have hurt going through so many and never finding the right one. And the whole time, the love of your life was right in front of you.” Clarke knew that she was clearly talking about Wells, but the blonde couldn’t help looking across the table from her and meeting the mesmerizing gaze of Lexa’s green eyes. 

 

Wells sees Clarke’s eyes stare at Lexa a little too long and he nudges her with his leg, causing her to turn her gaze elsewhere. She tried to swallow down all of her feelings in this moment. She couldn’t falter. Not right now. Not in front of all of these people. She honestly just wants to lock herself up in her hotel room and cry for a straight week.

Clarke writhes in her chair and tries to will herself not to look like a kicked puppy. Lexa must notice because she clears her throat and takes a long swig of her water, causing everyone to look at her. She only raises her eyebrows.

After what feels like an eternity, Costia’s mother leans over closer to Wells. “Wells, how did you and Clarke meet?” 

Clarke jumps in and answers quickly because she really doesn’t want Wells coming up with something crazy off the fly like this. God can only imagine what he would say. “Wells is a colleague.” Mrs. Daniels lifts a brow as if to say, ‘That’s it? That’s the story?’ Clarke decides to throw in a little bit extra so that it’s not too unconvincing. “We met three years ago at an art show in Bronx. We became really close friends and – uh – it kind of just blossomed from there.” Maybe that would hold them off. It wasn’t a lie. That was actually how they met. At least that’s one truth that she’s been able to tell today.

“Actually,” Wells butts in and Clarke turns to him with a look that says, ‘You better not.’ He ignores her, pulling her in closer to his side with a grin and placing a kiss to the crown of her blonde head. “It’s a rather romantic story.” He answers, looking over to Costia’s mother. “Would you like to tell it, babe?” Wells asks, looking down at Clarke. Lexa grimaced at hearing someone call Clarke ‘babe.’ Someone that wasn’t her.

“No.” She answers maybe a little too quickly. “That’s uh – that’s private.”

“Not anymore.” He grins and turns back to the rest of the table. Clarke sighs and practically drops her head into her plate of food in front of her. “So… here I was, walking around with a pen and legal pad in this unheard of gallery in the Bronx, when the doors open and I see a sight that literally takes my breath away. A vision. In pink.” He adds and Clarke rolls her eyes imperceptibly.

“Pink?” Lexa chimes in, causing Clarke to finally look up. Lexa looks straight up pissed off. She either doesn’t realize it, or she doesn’t care. Costia seems to notice because she reaches over and squeezes Lexa’s hand. “You don’t wear pink.” She said matter-of-factly, looking over at Clarke.

“Oh yes she does.” Wells grins, ignoring the fact that he almost messed everything up. “Sometimes, Lexa… she does wear pink, and might I say that she looks positively radiant.” He leans in to kiss Clarke’s cheek. She glares at him. “You do.”

Clarke turns back to look at Lexa and says, “I do.” Lies. It’s all lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. Lexa’s jaw wiggles and clenches. Clarke knows this to be one of her nervous or sometimes angry ticks that she always does. No one else could ever pick up on it but Clarke. Not even Costia.

“Anyways…” Wells begins again after being interrupted by Lexa. “I looked over to my buddy John and said ‘Wow. I have to meet that girl’ and John pushes me over to her. I was so nervous, but once she spoke, all of my nerves seemed to disappear.”

If it were possible for someone to get their eyes stuck from rolling them so many times, then it would have happened to Clarke today.

“It was only a simple, ‘hi’, but it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever heard.” Wells says, causing Clarke to almost choke on the water that she was sipping on. “In that moment I knew…”

“Knew what?” Costia asks with a wide smile.

“No one cares about this, Wells.” Clarke says, hoping that he would just shut up. She was uncomfortable and Lexa most surely was from the way she was acting. 

“They’re just curious, Clarke.” Wells grins.

“I certainly am.” Lexa chimes in, but her voice is low and harsh and Clarke can feel it like its a million sharp daggers being thrown into her heart. Lexa is pissed. She’s upset. She’s hurt. And all that Clarke can think is that she did this. She screwed this up.

“What did you know?” Costia rings in again, ignoring Lexa’s pouty attitude.

Wells sits up straighter in his chair. “I knew… that someday we would end up like this: engaged, like some dazzling Doris Day-Rock Hudson spectacular.” That comment earns him a lot of ‘awws’ and ‘how sweets’. Clarke can’t bring herself to meet Lexa’s eyes. She doesn’t have to see them to know that they are currently boring a hole through her. “And don’t get me wrong… John is my friend, but he’s quite possibly clinically insane. I tell him that I think I’m in love with this girl and he looks me in the eyes and says…”

“What? What?” Costia jumps in as do a couple of more people down the table who are listening to the conversation. “What did John say?”

Wells thinks for a bit before he looks down and winks at Clarke. He starts to sing out loud. Like really loud and Clarke wants to die right now.

THE MOMENT I WAKE UP

Costia starts to giggle, as does her mother and Raven and Octavia. Clarke is sure that her other two friends are having the best night of their lives watching her suffer through this. Wells continues to sing.

BEFORE I PUT ON MY MAKE-UP

Costia’s mother joins in now.

I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU

Everyone is laughing and guests who aren’t even with them are laughing as well as clapping. Costia is loving this all too much. She must see how uncomfortable Clarke is. The blonde doesn’t see Lexa squirm once again in her seat, clenching her jaw even tighter and grinding her teeth down together.

WHILE COMBING MY HAIR NOW  
WHILE WONDERING WHAT DRESS TO WEAR NOW

Wells is using some sort of hand gestures as he sings and this time… Clarke does sink down into her seat. Raven and Octavia decide to join in the singing too and Clarke is sure to send them a glare. They ignore it of course.

I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU

What happens next makes Clarke think that maybe she’s only dreaming. No. Not dreaming. This is a nightmare. One hellish nightmare that she hopes she wakes up from soon. Really soon. The whole table and people from other tables start to sing along. ‘Like, what the hell is this? What is happening? Am I being Punk’d? Is this a live episode of GLEE?’ All of these thoughts run through her mind. This couldn’t be worse.

FOREVER AND EVER  
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART  
AND I WILL LOVE YOU  
FOREVER AND EVER  
WE NEVER WILL PART

Costia is singing the loudest, clasping her hands over her heart while looking at Lexa and then back at Clarke with a wink. Clarke almost jumps the table right then. Bitch.

OH HOW I LOVE YOU  
TOGETHER FOREVER  
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE  
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU  
WOULD ONLY MEAN HEARTBREAK FOR ME

And Clarke was wrong earlier when she thought that it couldn’t possibly get worse because just then, one of the servers at the restaurant sits down at the piano in the corner and starts to play along with their words, using the upbeat tempo. She rolls her eyes. ‘Like, does every-fucking-body know this song?’

Wells throws his arm back around Clarke and leans in to her, grazing his lips across her ear as he sings. She’s disowning him after this. That’s for sure.

I RUN FOR THE BUS, DEAR  
WHILE RIDING I THINK OF US, DEAR

The crowd joins him again for the next few words.

HE SAYS A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU

Wells kisses her cheek. Clarke wants to seriously cry, but this is her fault. She agreed to this. To making Lexa jealous. She’s such a horrible fucking friend. Her gaze finally travels across the table to her best friend. Lexa looks like she wants to be sick. The brunette is shaking her head and looking down at the table. Costia doesn’t even seem to notice or care.

AT WORK I JUST TAKE TIME  
AND ALL THROUGH MY COFFEE BREAK TIME  
I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU

Everyone is singing and Costia clenches to Lexa singing to her. Lexa tries to smile, but it doesn’t happen.

FOREVER AND EVER  
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART  
AND I WILL LOVE YOU  
FOREVER AND EVER  
WE NEVER WILL PART  
OH HOW I LOVE YOU  
TOGETHER FOREVER   
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE  
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU  
WOULD ONLY BE HEARTBREAK FOR ME

Wells kisses her cheek again and Raven and Octavia wolf whistle. She’s disowning them too.

MY DARLING, BELIEVE ME  
FOR ME THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU

Clarke can see Lexa’s breathing pick up and her best fried… her Lexa… looks as if she’s about to cry. Clarke only wants to comfort her. Clarke thinks that this may be the answer that she’s looking for. Lexa does care about her… but to what capacity?

PLEASE LOVE ME TOO  
ANSWER HIS PRAYER  
AND I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU  
ANSWER HIS PRAYER NOW, BABY  
ANSWER MY PRAYER, BABY  
ANSWER HIS PRAYER  
SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO

The pianist is going to town on the piano in the corner and the whole restaurant is clapping along to the beat of the music. Clarke’s eyes are latched onto Lexa’s. They stare at each other the whole time. They’re the only ones not singing.

FOREVER AND EVER  
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART  
AND I WILL LOVE YOU  
FOREVER AND EVER   
WE NEVER WILL PART  
OH HOW I LOVE YOU  
TOGETHER FOREVER  
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE  
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU  
WOULD ONLY MEAN HEARTBREAK FOR ME

The song ends with Raven and Octavia trying and failing to do some sort of vocal run. ‘Thank God that’s over’ Clarke thinks. She wants to run away. Like now. Everyone is smiling and laughing and clapping. Everyone except Lexa. Clarke tries to put on a smile, but it doesn’t last long.

 

//

 

“Okay!” Clarke exclaims, pushing Wells into the door of the airport while she stays out side. His flight is leaving to take him back to the city. Her flight back isn’t until later tonight. “You’ve made your point.” She says. “I’m never fake dating you again. Get out of here.” Clarke tries to sound annoyed, but she really can’t be. Not at Wells. “I will call you at the turn of the century when I have forgiven you.”

Wells sticks out his tongue like a child. He then pulls her in for a warm hug. “Tell her, Clarke. Just tell her.”

He turns to walk through the doors of the airport before Clarke calls out to him, stopping him in his tracks. “Wells!”

“What will she do?” Clarke breathes out. Half of her wanting to know the answer and the other half not.

Wells walks back over to her with a small, sad smile. “She’ll choose Costia.” He says, taking Clarke’s breath from her. “And you’ll stand beside her on their wedding day…” Clarke thinks that he’s finished as she wonders what the hell kind of pep talk this was supposed to be. “Or…” Thank God there’s an ‘or’. “She’ll choose you. My vote is on the latter.” He smiles, causing Clarke to smile a little bit too. “You got this.” He kisses her head once more before walking out of her sight.

Clarke walks very slowly back to the awaiting cab where Lexa awaits her. She hasn’t said anything to Clarke since the restaurant and Clarke knows that she has to tell her. She has to tell Lexa that she and Wells are not together and that she was right about him being gay. Clarke is terrified to say the least.

When she gets back to the cab, she sits down in the back seat next to her best friend. She makes sure to leave enough space between them so as they’re not touching. This is so different than how they usually are. They’ve never been afraid to be all touchy-feely with each other. Things are different now. “Lex.” Clarke breathes out and she really hopes that the other woman can’t hear how hard her heart is beating in her chest right now. Her best friend looks over to her, finally meeting her blue eyes for what feels like an eternity and it’s like she can breathe a little easier now. “Wells isn’t my fiancé.” There’s no emotion on Lexa’s stoic face right off, so Clarke continues. “I lied.”

“Why?” Her voice isn’t recognizable.

“I – uh… I…I didn’t want you to think that I was the same person.” Lexa raises a brow. “I’m not who I used to be, Lexa. I’m not scared of relationships anymore.”

All that Lexa can think of is ‘why is Clarke telling me this?’

When Lexa doesn’t say anything and just looks straightforward at the back of the driver’s headrest, Clarke continues once more. “No one could ever stack up to the one person that I measure everyone against.” That’s quite possibly the most honest thing that Clarke Griffin has ever said in her life. She notices Lexa let out a breath that she had been seemingly holding in for quite a while.

“This is unexpected.” Lexa finally says, causing Clarke to let out a breath of her own. What the hell does that mean? “I – uh, when you – when you told me that, uh – you were engaged to him. To Wells. I got this really, really odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.” Lexa is still looking forward and she chuckles sarcastically to herself, while shaking her head as if she can’t believe what she’s trying to say.

“You were jealous?” Clarke breathes out. Her heart is stuck somewhere in her throat, causing her words to barely come out.

Lexa turns then, green clashing against blue. There’s a small smile on Clarke’s face because she doesn’t know what else to do. Lexa’s mouth is parted a little bit and there’s still no emotion showing whatsoever on her face. The brunette surprises Clarke and nods once. “Stupid jealous.” Lexa answers honestly.

Clarke officially can’t breath and all that she can think of is moving in and kissing her best friend. The blonde chances a glance down at Lexa’s full lips. Clarke decides against kissing her though. This isn’t the time. There are still things that need to be said (a lot of things), but at least this is beginning.

Lexa looks away again, down at her lap where she’s ringing her hands together. The brunette clears her throat. “Could we… uh – maybe… when I get to the city in a couple of days… just hang out? Spend more time alone together?” Clarke can tell that Lexa is terrified and can’t believe that she’s actually speaking her thoughts. She looks back up to Clarke with a small grin on her face. “Would that be okay?”

Clarke nods her head once. “I think that I’d like that very much.” She answers honestly with a small smile of her own. All that Lexa can think of is how beautiful Clarke is and how she wishes that she could just take her best friend in her arms and hold onto her and never let go. She’s starting to really rethink every decision that she’s made in the past few months, but for now… for now she’s going to spend as much time with Clarke as she can before her wedding in a week.

“I would too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? I had to make sure that I got the 'Say a Little Prayer for You' in there somehow. That's one of my favorite scenes. :) Let me know what you thought in the comments and with kudos! You guys are awesome! Love you all!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took so long! Let me know what you think!

It’s Sunday evening, and Clarke is finally back in New York City. The flight from Chicago had seemed to go on forever. She had entirely too much time to sit around and meditate about the things that had gone down the past few days. 

One: She immediately found out that she loathed Costia.   
Two: Lexa was still the most perfect human being on the face of the Earth.  
Three: Lexa seemed miserable.  
Four: It took all of Clarke’s will power to not practically jump Lexa every second.  
Five: Lexa almost kissed her while she was intoxicated.  
Six: Clarke almost let it happen.  
Seven: Clarke almost screwed everything up by pretending to be with Wells.

Clarke could really go on with all of these thoughts for the rest of the night, but she has to drag her mind away. She can’t dwell on those facts. She can’t worry herself with that type stuff right now. All that she can think about is that it is Sunday night and Lexa should be married right now.

Thank you God for that priest needing to reschedule.

Now Clarke has almost a full week with Lexa, alone, before she actually does get married. Hopefully Clarke will grow the hell up and tell her best friend how she really feels. Luckily, Clarke has at least a few hours before Lexa gets here. Her friend’s flight doesn’t land until tomorrow morning. Lexa had to stay behind to spend another night with Costia, since her fiancé would be staying in Chicago for some last minute plans now that she had the time to work on them.

Clarke is fairly certain that Lexa has not told Costia about the whole ‘being engaged to Wells’ thing was fake. The blonde is also confident that Costia would shit a golden brick if she knew that Lexa plans on staying with Clarke at her apartment. Hopefully, her friend will keep that little piece of information quite.

After Clarke unpacks all of her things that she had taken with her to Chicago, she sets to work on tidying up her place a bit. She’s usually quite orderly, but the week leading up to Lexa’s untimely call had been hectic and she barely had time to even be at her apartment, much less clean it. A couple of hours went by; Clarke had managed to wash her bed sheets, mop the floors, and do a bit of dusting. She then realized that she had absolutely no groceries, and since she knew that she wouldn’t get a wink of sleep anyways, she decided to run a couple of blocks down to the nearest market.

She didn’t realize until she got home, that everything that she had bought was Lexa’s favorite things. She had purchased all of the items subconsciously, knowing that her best friend would be here in just a few short hours.

Clarke has to admit to herself that she is unequivocally petrified. She knows exactly what she wants, but that doesn’t make it any simpler. She still has know idea how her best friend feels about her. Clarke knows that the way that Lexa clammed up on Saturday when she found out about Clarke and Wells’ “engagement” and the way she got extremely irritable was really weird. Very unlike Lexa, but that was what they were going for with that plan… was it not? To see if Lexa would become, dare she say it, jealous? Just the thought of her best friend harboring some sort of romantic feelings for her makes her heart flutter.

Once Clarke has all of the groceries put up in their proper place, she decides to take a shower and then move to the couch to watch a little bit of Netflix. She hasn’t had time for any in so long. She decides that she should probably text her boss and let him know that she probably won’t be working much this week. She needs this time with her friend.

CLARKE: (1:23AM) - Boss, I know it’s late, but I may not work much this week. Got some personal stuff going on.

The response is almost immediate. Of course he’s up. He never sleeps.

MARCUS (1:25AM) - Sure thing, Griffin. Let me know if you need anything.

She smiles, but before she can even set her phone back down on the end table beside the couch, it buzzes again.

LEXA (1:28AM) – Can’t sleep.

CLARKE (1:28AM) – Me either.

CLARKE (1:29AM) – Something wrong?

LEXA (1:30AM) – So many things.

CLARKE (1:32AM) – Lex… Talk to me.

LEXA (1:35AM) – Some things are better left unsaid. Better kept to yourself.

CLARKE (1:36AM) – Can I call you?

LEXA (1:36AM) – No.

LEXA (1:37AM) – Costia’s beside me.

CLARKE (1:39AM) – Okay.

CLARKE (1:40AM) – What time should I pick you up in the morning?

LEXA (1:42AM) – You don’t. I’ll just catch a cab so you don’t have to get up. Spare key still under the plant beside the door?

CLARKE (1:42AM) – Yes.

LEXA (1:45AM) – Okay. Goodnight, Clarke.

CLARKE (1:46AM) – Goodnight, Lexa.

Clarke sinks down into her couch. She wants to cry. Why won’t Lexa talk to her? What’s going on in that beautiful mind of hers? There’s so many questions that she has. So many of them for her best friend and she’s not sure that she’ll ever get a straight answer. Not now.

The blonde doesn’t fall asleep until somewhere around four in the morning. She probably wouldn’t have fallen asleep then, but she just kind of passed out from exhaustion. Needless to say, her sleep was restless because she had too many things going on in her mind. Too many to relax, even in her sleep.

 

//

 

It’s nine in the morning in New York, and a very exhausted Lexa finally makes it to her destination. Clarke’s apartment. She was finally able to catch a cab at the airport, after having waited for what felt like an eternity. The tall, brunette woman pulls her suitcase to a stop right in front of the apartment door that she hasn’t set foot into in such a long time. It’s been so long since she and Clarke were just able to hang out together, just the two of them, in a personal setting such as this. Lexa reaches down and lifts up a small potted plant until she can see the small key that’s taped to the underside of the pot. She grabs it and moves to unlock the door quietly before placing the key back where it belongs.

As she walks into the apartment, she notices that all of the lights are off. Clarke must still be asleep. Her friend probably didn’t go to bed until super late too. Lexa pulls her suitcase in with her before shutting the door softly and leaving her bag there to go check on Clarke. She takes slow, tentative steps towards Clarke’s bedroom only to notice that her beautiful, blonde friend had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room.

Now, to Lexa, Clarke has always been gorgeous. The blonde always manages to take her breath away, but in this moment, with Clarke curled up against the back cushions of the couch, her blonde hair scattered over the armrest and the faint glow of the sun coming through one of the two windows in the living room, makes Clarke look like an angel. It sounds so cliché, but it’s the truth. Lexa’s heart melts at how simple yet stunning the blonde seems in this instant. She knows that she shouldn’t, but Lexa throws out all of the ‘no’s’ that keep popping into her head, and she makes her way over to the couch. Lexa kicks off her tennis shoes and slides them under the coffee table. She then removes her light jacket and throws it across the recliner next to the couch. Slowly, she slides in behind her best friend and grabs a blanket that’s draped over the back of the sofa. Lexa gently drapes it over the both of them before she curls up behind Clarke, wrapping her arms around her tightly, but not tight enough to wake her up.

Clarke must have taken a shower before she fell asleep, because Lexa can still smell her fresh shampoo as she presses her nose to the back of her best friend’s head. The sun may be out, and it may be a brand new day, but it doesn’t take long for sleep to find her as she snuggles up closer to the blonde in front of her.

 

//

 

“Lexa.” 

The brunette stirs a little bit from her sleep when she hears something that sounds like her name. Someone is calling her. She doesn’t open her eyes, and she starts to fall back into her slumber when she hears it again.

“Lex.”

The sound sends a shiver up her spine and she’s sure that if she were to look, she would have goose bumps covering her tanned skin. Lexa feels something move against her and she finally opens her green eyes. Her vision is blurry at first and it takes a while for her senses to adjust to the light in the room. Where is she? Why is her body so warm? She’s almost sure that she’s sweating. She feels the movement beside her again.

“Lexa?”

‘Oh shit… it’s Clarke. I’m at Clarke’s apartment. I barely remember getting here.’ Lexa thinks to herself. Her vision finally decides to cooperate with her and she realizes that she’s on the couch and her face is smashed against a mess of blonde tangles. “Clarke?”

“There she is.” She can practically hear the grin in her best friend’s voice. “You’re squeezing me to death, Lex.” It’s then that the brunette realizes that she has her long arms wrapped around Clarke and is holding her impossibly close.

“Shit.” Lexa mutters, sitting up quickly on her spot on the couch. “Sorry.” Her voice is low and raspy from her sleep and Clarke just happens to love it that way.

“Hey.” Clarke whispers, turning around on the couch, but still lying down. The blonde reaches for Lexa’s hand and pulls her back down to lie beside her. “I didn’t say that you had to get up.” Clarke grins and Lexa’s sure that her heart can’t possibly melt any further. She gets comfortable back in her lying position on the couch, but this time they’re facing each other. Lexa feels her breath hitch when she catches a glimpse of Clarke’s cerulean eyes for the first time in the past few days. They’re even brighter in the mornings. She had almost forgotten, although she’s not sure how she could forget something like that. “What time did you get in?” Clarke asks her after a few moments of silence.

Lexa clears her throat, hoping that her voice doesn’t give away the slight attraction that she’s feeling towards her best friend right now. Okay. It’s a little more than a ‘slight attraction’. This is so wrong. “Around nine I think.”

“You should have woken me up.”

“You were exhausted, Clarke. You didn’t sleep much, I know, and neither did I.” Lexa brings herself to form a small grin. “I only wanted to sleep.”

“I have a rather large bed in the room down the hallway.” Clarke teases. “You would have been more comfortable down there.”

Lexa’s grin widens a little more before she slides down the couch a bit and snuggles her face into the area under Clarke’s chin, into her neck. “No.” Clarke hears Lexa utter into her skin, causing the blonde to shiver and her pale skin to blush. “I wouldn’t have.”

Clarke won’t lie… that came across as a little more than friendly, not that she minded. She secretly loves that Lexa would rather curl up on the tiny couch with her than head down the hallway to the huge, empty bed. For a moment, she forgets that her best friend is engaged to be wed in less than a week. This feels like them. This feels like how they’ve always been. Close and intimate without feelings getting in the way… but now there are feelings. At least on Clarke’s side.

“Why weren’t you in the bed, Miss Griffin?” Lexa asks, finally looking up from underneath Clarke’s chin. Lexa has one brow raised and Clarke finds it rather endearing… and sexy. She always has.

The blonde above her shrugs. “I couldn’t tell you the last time that I slept in my bed.”

“What? Why?”

“Just feels like too big a place for lonely ol’ me.” Clarke smiles a half smile. “It makes me feel alone, so I just come in here usually and fall asleep on the sofa. It’s pretty comfy actually.”

Lexa wants nothing more than to kiss the sad smile off of Clarke’s face and tell her that she will never have to be lonely again. Tell her that she’ll be here with her until her last breath…but that’s not something that a best friend says, and that’s all that she is to Clarke. She knows that. “Well… you won’t be lonely this week, Griffin.” Lexa grins. “I will most definitely be using the bed. I can’t sleep on this couch anymore. You’ll have to join me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep.” Lexa answers, popping the ‘p’. “Friend rules.”

“Whatever.” Clarke teases, rolling her eyes in the process. “You’re such a dork.” She adds before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her best friend’s forehead. Clarke didn’t notice the way that Lexa’s breath completely stopped in the millisecond. She didn’t feel the brunette’s heart beating against her chest like a bass drum. She couldn’t see the unreserved look of affection flash across the jade eyes before her. “What do you want to do today?” Clarke asks after pulling her soft lips away from her friend’s head.

Lexa nods her head upwards and shrugs exhaustively. “Can we just…Netflix and chill?”

Clarke’s smile is almost blinding before she chuckles and kisses Lexa’s forehead again. “Thank God.” The blonde laughs again, pulling Lexa closer. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t want to get out today.”

“Great minds think alike.” Lexa grins and then turns towards the television when Clarke clicks the remote and turns on Netflix. She’s now the little spoon and she loves it.

 

//

 

“So,” Clarke begins as she stands up from the sofa after a full night of watching Netflix. The blonde stretches her arms out above her head and tries to stifle the yawn with her words. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”

“I have a pretty busy day, unfortunately.” Lexa mutters, reciprocating the yawn that Clarke had just let out. The brunette stretches out on the couch now that the blonde’s space is empty. “I’ll be heading over to Yankee Stadium pretty early. I have to meet with one of the new rookies for a write up.”

Clarke let’s out a loud, over exaggerated groan. “So jealous.” This causes Lexa to chuckle and the sound sets Clarke’s heart ablaze. “I thought that you said you were interviewing two rookies.”

“You mean you were actually listening to me?” Lexa teases, and laughs again when Clarke flips her the bird from her place in the kitchen. 

“I always listen to you, Woods.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Lexa grins again. “But no… you’re totally right. The other interview is actually on Wednesday. Want me to let you know if either one of them is attractive? I might be able to get you set up.” The brunette jokes, wiggling her eyebrows.

“No thanks. I’ve got my eye on someone else.” Clarke replies before she even realizes what she is saying. She holds her breath and prays that Lexa doesn’t question her further. Maybe her best friend will just think that Clarke was joking or something.

“Oh you do, do you?” Lexa teases Clarke, but doesn’t want to admit the sharp pain of jealous that shoots through her entire body, consuming her every being. Who they hell could Clarke have her eye on? Lexa wonders if she is bigger than them. Maybe she could take them, but this really isn’t something that she should be thinking. She’s getting married. Soon. Like really, really soon. “Who might that be?”

“Wouldn’t you like the know?” Clarke shoots back as she walks past the couch and into her bedroom. She doesn’t bother shutting the door as she starts to change clothes. Lexa thinks that she must have just forgotten about her being here. This is Clarke’s place anyways. She’s just comfortable here and is used to changing with the door wide open. 

Lexa tries not to look. She really, truly does. It’s just very hard to do, and she’s never been a person with an abundant amount of restraint. Her mouth goes dry when she sees the pale, bare skin of her best friend as she slips out of her t-shirt and bra. Clarke quickly throws on another big t-shirt, to Lexa’s dismay. Clarke then bends over as she slowly pulls off her blue jeans. It’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion and that she knows that Lexa is watching. The blonde spins around quickly after she loses her jeans and Lexa hastily averts her eyes, hoping and praying that she didn’t just get caught in the act. She moves her hand up to wipe a small bit of drool that had begun to form on the corner of her mouth, before she looks down at her phone. She should really text Costia, but her fiancé will more than likely be full of questions about what hotel she’s staying at. Lexa didn’t lie to Costia, she just didn’t tell her the whole truth. She couldn’t possibly tell her that she was staying in Clarke’s one bedroom apartment with her. World War III would be sure to start not long after that.

“What’s wrong with you?” Clarke asks, exiting the bedroom and Lexa lifts her eyes back to her best friend. Lexa’s green eyes broaden at the sight. Clarke didn’t put pants back on. Dammit. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The blonde chuckles.

Lexa clears her throat and suddenly realizes that she’s staring at Clarke’s bare legs. She veers her eyes once again to something other than the vast amount of soft skin in front of her. “Uh – umm… nothing.” Good job, Lexa. You fucking idiot. “I’m just – uh… tired.”

“Well let’s get you to bed then.” Clarke smiles and Lexa wonders how it’s possible to fall more in love with a person every time they smile. 

Lexa forms a grin on her face before shaking her head and replying to her best friend. “I’m going to sleep on the couch. I couldn’t possibly ask you to share a bed with me, Clarke.”

“What?” Clarke asks her friend in shock. “I don’t think so, missy. You told me that you would sleep with me in my bed so that I didn’t have to be lonely.” The blonde’s hands are on her hips and she’s trying to sound domineering. “Get your ass up off that couch this instant, Alexandria Woods.” Lexa sneers at her full name. She hates it and Clarke knows it. “Now.”

“Geez…” Lexa throws her hands in the air as she stands up from the couch. “Alright, alright… I’m going.”

“That’s what I thought.” Clarke grins to a passing Lexa.

After a few minutes of getting ready for bed, the two girls pile into Clarke’s large, empty bed. The sheets are fresh and smell fantastic. Like lavender and fabric softener. “Clarke…” Lexa groans. “Are you going to put on pants?”

“No.” She answers firmly. “This is how I sleep. Why?” The blonde grins. “Does this bother you, Lexa?” Clarke is feeling daring and overly flirtatious right now. She moves over way too close to her friend, taking over a lot of Lexa’s personal space and Clarke swears that she hears the brunette’s breath hitch a little.

“Nope.” Lexa barely manages to get out through her held breath. “Not at all. You do whatever you want, Clarke.”

“Whatever I want?” Clarke wiggles her eyebrows up and down and Lexa laughs out loud.

“Within reason.”

“We’ll see.” Clarke teases again. “Who knows? By the end of this week… I may be completely naked.” The blonde winks and Lexa holds her breath again before rolling her eyes and flipping onto her other side so that she’s not facing Clarke. She hears the blonde’s gorgeous laugh before anything else. “Night, Lex.”

Lexa lets out her breath. “Goodnight, Clarke.”

 

//

 

The next morning, Clarke is in her kitchen making a pot of coffee when she hears a soft knock on the door. It’s still early and she wonders who could possibly be here at this hour. Lexa, looking more beautiful in her sleep than anyone should possibly look, was still fast asleep in Clarke’s bed. The blonde didn’t have the heart to wake her up just yet. Her friend looked so content. Not like when she was awake. Clarke knew that something was going on in her best friend’s mind. She seemed closed off and distant lately. It hurt Clarke’s soul to think that there was something that was seriously bothering Lexa. She must remember to finally bring up Costia again at some point during this week.

Clarke sits her coffee mug down on the counter and saunters over to the door. She doesn’t have a peephole there, so she undoes the two latches that lock her door securely and opens it to see two people that she was definitely not expecting.

“What up, Griff?” Raven grinned wickedly. 

“Clarkey!” Octavia chimed in as well, her grin mirroring that of Raven’s. 

Clarke was sure that her narrowing eyes were enough to give away her question to her friends, but she voiced it anyways. “What are you two doing here?”

“Nice to see you too.” Octavia deadpans, brushing past Clarke with Raven right on her heels.

Raven lets out a low whistle as she takes in her surroundings. “This is a nice place you got here, Clarke.”

“Thank you.” Clarke smiles before Octavia lets out a burst of laughter after Raven almost knocks a frame off of the wall. “Ssshhhh…” Clarke tries to shush her friends and that’s when it hits her… unless Lexa happened to tell them that she was staying here, then they don’t know she’s here. Shit. She just gave them away. These two will never let her and Lexa hear the end of this.

Sure enough, Octavia whirled around to face the blonde, after she so rudely shushed her, and furrowed her brow in question at her friend’s odd behavior. “Why are we being quite? Do you have a hangover or something?”

“No.” Clarke looked shy in this moment…. She knew that she did, she just didn’t know how to go about explaining that her best friend, the girl that she’s majorly in love with and who is getting married in a matter of days, is asleep in her bed. To make matters worse, Clarke only just now realizes that she is still only wearing her big t-shirt and panties. Double shit. “Uhh… Lex – Lexa is asleep.”

Octavia’s eyes widen and she quickly turns to look at Raven to see if she had heard the newfound statement as well. Indeed she did, because her eyes were wide as well and the grin on her face was even more devilish than before. “Lexa’s here?” Octavia finally asks after giving Clarke a good stare down. Clarke only nods. “So, she’s staying here and not at a hotel? Does Costia know this? And – oh my gosh – wait… you only have one bed, Clarke, and the couch most definitely hasn’t been slept on.”

“Thanks for pointing that out, O.” Clarke replies sarcastically, turning her back to her friends and grabbing her mug before making her way over to said couch. “Yes…” The blonde starts again after getting comfortable on her sofa and turning to look at Octavia and Raven who are still standing in the kitchen, gawking at her. “She’s staying here. There’s no since in her staying in a hotel when her best friend lives here. And no… Costia does not know. At least I don’t think that she does.”

“Clarke…” Octavia starts in again. “She’s going to flip shit if she finds out that her fiancé is staying with you. Especially if she already believes that there’s something else going on between the two of you.” Octavia’s eyes start to looking Clarke up and down before she adds. “And where are your pants?”

Clarke lets out a loud groan as she takes another sip of her coffee, enjoying the bitter taste as it runs down her throat. She completely ignores the comments about her pants, hoping that that’s all that is said about it. “I know… but this is my last chance, guys.” A long sigh comes next and it’s almost heartbreaking to her friends that have now made their way over the living area as well. “I need this week with her. I have to tell her… I just have to work up my nerve.”

Raven lets out a sigh next and places a soft hand on the blonde’s thigh. “Look, Clarke… I know that I just met you and I’ve only known Lexa for a few months, but anyone with eyes can see that you’re both crazy in love with each other.” The darker girl states with a sweet grin. “Just tell her. Don’t let her be miserable with my bitch of a cousin.”

Clarke doesn’t say anything and neither do Raven or Octavia. The three of them sit in a comfortable silence as Clarke goes through her brain, picking out different scenarios that could possibly happen from telling her best friend that she’s in love with her. After a few minutes, Clarke gets up and takes her coffee mug to place it in the sink in the kitchen and then walks back past the couch to head to her bedroom. “I’m going to wake her. Someone’s got to give her a heads up that you two are here.” The blonde chuckles when the two dark headed girls give her a glare.

Entering the room quietly, Clarke tiptoes over to the side of the bed before gently sitting down, and then laying. The scoots over closer, as she takes in the delicate contours of Lexa’s nose and eyes. Clarke’s own eyes then glance over the sharp lines of her best friend’s strong jaw and cheekbones. Lexa truly is a work of art. One that Clarke would be sure to write great things about. There’s absolutely nothing about her to critique. Only that she’s not Clarke’s.

Clarke doesn’t realize just how close she is to her friend, until a soft, raspy voice alerts her of the proximity. “You’re staring.” Lexa’s voice causes Clarke to grin. To her own dismay, Lexa has yet to open her eyes so that Clarke can see the stunning jade colors that lie there.

In this moment… Clarke decides that it’s time to start being bold. At least a little bit. Baby steps. “I can’t help it.” Clarke shrugs even though she knows that Lexa isn’t looking at her. “I have a trained eye for art. Specifically art as picturesque as this.” She adds before teasingly running her hand over Lexa’s face. This, along with the bold confession, causes the brunette to finally open her eyes. “There she is.” Clarke grins.

There’s most definitely a blush taking control over Lexa’s skin. Clarke notices, but chooses not to say anything. She tries not to think of how her heart skipped a few beats as soon as her blue eyes caught gaze of Lexa’s green ones. “Good morning.” Lexa finally manages and Clarke wants to wake up to that voice saying those words for the rest of her life. It’s terrifying that she knows that that’s exactly what she wants, and that there’s a good possibility that that will never happen.

“Morning.” Clarke grins. “Did you sleep well?” Lexa only nods, closing her eyes again and burrowing her face into her pillow, soaking up the scent of Clarke’s shampoo that lingers there. Clarke giggles at how cute this woman is. “Are you going to get up today?”

Lexa shakes her head ‘no’ before she surprises Clarke and brings a hand to place it on the blonde’s hip. Clarke feels Lexa stiffen a little bit, thinking that she must have just realized that Clarke still didn’t have pants on, but she doesn’t remove her hand from the blonde’s side. Lexa pulls her friend in closer until she buries her face in Clarke’s neck, causing chills to run throughout both of their tired bodies. Clarke has to keep reminding herself that this is how they’ve always been with each other. They’ve both always been touchy and clingy throughout their friendship. This is nothing new. She also has to try and rid herself of the thoughts of the other night when Lexa was drunk and they had almost kissed. They were in this same situation; with Lexa’s arm wrapped tightly around Clarke as their breaths mingled together.

“Lex.” Clarke whispers, not at all sure of what she wants to say. Of course, she knows what she should say, but she can’t. Not right now. This isn’t the right place or time.

“Clarke.” Lexa teases, nestling further into the blonde’s neck, her lips grazing against the skin there as she speaks. “You smell good.” The admission causes Clarke to laugh and Lexa’s pulls her head back slightly so that she can see her friend’s face. “What?” The brunette pouts with a furrowed brow. 

The blonde shakes her head with a grin. “Nothing. You’re just really adorable when you wake up.” Clarke chuckles again at Lexa’s expression. “So clingy.” Clarke jokes.

“Shut it.” Lexa grunts before putting her face back into Clarke’s neck and biting at the skin there. Okay… this surely causes Clarke’s breath to hitch and an even more petrifying shiver to run throughout her body. She knows that Lexa will occasionally bite her, because they are truly kids at heart, but never does the brunette bite her on such a sensitive area. This causes way too many different feelings to start to flood. Clarke knows that she shouldn’t look too much into it, but she can’t help it. Especially when Lexa’s lips kiss the spot that she just bit. Shit. Neither of them says anything for a few minutes and Clarke is starting to think that Lexa didn’t really think about what she was doing when she did it.

Clarke finally decides to break the silence. “So… we have guests.” This causes Lexa to look at her again. “Raven and Octavia showed up not long ago.”

“Seriously?”

Clarke nods. “Don’t worry. I already filled them in that you’re staying here, so they shouldn’t bother you too much about it.” The blonde notices that timid look on her best friend’s face. “Don’t worry, Lex.” She repeats herself and then places the softest of kisses on her friend’s forehead. “They won’t tell her.” It’s almost as if it’s an unspoken thing between them. They don’t speak about Costia. Not now. They both seem to know how sensitive the subject is to the other. They both realize how wrong this is, but neither of them can bring themselves to care.

“You’re the best.” Lexa mutters, returning to her warm spot in Clarke’s neck to place yet another kiss there. Clarke is sure that she is about to implode from some sort of heart murmur. “You know that?”

“I’ve been told.” Clarke grins.

 

//

 

After a few hours of lying around watching TV, and making lunch, the four friends decided that they wanted to go out on the town. Octavia and Clarke wanted to go out dancing, while Raven and Lexa didn’t care what they did one way or another. After everyone was finished getting all dolled up, they made their way across town to a club that Clarke and Octavia used to frequent.

“Now, I’m only going to have a drink or two.” Lexa states as the four women exit the cab, but she was looking at Clarke when she spoke. Of course. She felt like she was always looking at Clarke. “Someone’s got to make sure that you three keep your clothes on.” She joked. 

Raven shook her head and walked through the door of the club, quickly followed by Octavia who had her tongue sticking out at Lexa. There was clearly a story there. As the blonde walked by her though, she made sure to slide her arm gently against Lexa’s. Clarke stood on her tips toes and whispered in Lexa’s ear in her most sultry voice. She had decided to be bold. Let’s see how this goes. “Are you sure that you want me to keep my clothes on?” Clarke teases before making her way through the door as well, leaving a very frustrated Lexa standing outside.

Shit.

An hour and three tequila shots later (for each of the three girls drinking), The four of them found themselves dancing amongst the sea of drunk, sweaty people that flooded the place. It was almost too close for comfort, so Clarke took this as an opportunity to get closer to her best friend. She had mostly been dancing with Raven, but once she truly started to fell the alcohol, she kept going with the boldness flowing through her. 

The blonde slowly inched her way over to her friend, in the crowd of dancers, as she was slowly swaying her hips. She had one arm in the air, that was occupied holding a drink, as she made her way over. “You look like you’re having a little too much fun, Miss Griffin.” Lexa grins ear to ear, making Clarke’s heart melt, among other things. The way that Lexa says ‘Miss Griffin’ gives her way too many dirty thoughts about her best friend that she would never admit to anyone, and God… the way that Lexa dances is by far one of the best things that Clarke has ever seen. It’s been way too long since they’ve been out like this together.

“You know me.” Clarke says loudly so that her friend can hear her over the roar of the music around them. Once she finally steps into Lexa’s personal bubble, she throws the arm that’s holding her drink across Lexa’s shoulder and let’s her other one hang freely by her side. Lexa looks like she wants to touch Clarke, but she’s thinking way too hard about where exactly she should do this. After Clarke leans in closer and brushes her lips across Lexa’s ear to whisper, “I like to have fun,” Lexa’s restraint almost completely vanishes. She quickly reaches out and grabs Clarke by the hips, pulling her friend’s body until they’re connected. This causes Clarke to chuckle, but then she starts swaying her hips again to the beat of the music and Lexa can feel her rubbing up against her. The brunette knows that this is a bad idea. A very bad idea, but there is nothing else occupying her mind. Only Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Lexa questions loudly enough so that her best friend can hear her. A devilish smirk comes across Clarke’s face before she answers.

“A few. You know… you’re fiancé might get a little jealous if she were here.”

Lexa shakes her head and narrows her eyes at her best friend. “She’s not.” The brunette almost growls. “Can we not talk about that right now?”

Even though she’s tipsy, okay… she’s drunk. Even though Clarke is drunk, she knows that she shouldn’t have brought that up. She quickly realizes that it’s turned into a sore subject with her best friend. Clarke manages a sad smile before replying. “We don’t have to talk at all.”

Lexa smiles a sad smile as well, but tightens her grip on Clarke’s waist and the blonde steps in even closer, laying her head on Lexa’s shoulder. They dance like this, just swaying in one spot, for what feels like an infinite amount of time. Neither of them seems to care. Eventually, though, Raven and Octavia come to find them. It’s getting late and Lexa is sure that the other girl’s are ready to get back to their hotel. “O and I are about to head out.” Raven says to Lexa, who is still holding Clarke’s head on her shoulder.

“Do I need to call you a cab?” Lexa asks.

Raven shakes her head ‘no’. “Already done.” The short woman replies. “Are you two about to head out too?”

Lexa looks down, causing Clarke to look up at her. “You ready to go home or would you like to dance some more?”

Clarke smiles at the thought of a ‘home’ with Lexa. Something that she will never have. “Let’s go home.”

 

//

 

Once back inside Clarke’s apartment, Lexa changes into some more comfortable clothes. A short cut, green tank top and black shorts. Clarke doesn’t change. She just lies down on the sofa and turns on the TV again. “You not want to go to bed?” Lexa asks her friend with a raised brow. She’s surprised that Clarke isn’t passed out yet.

“No. I want to lie here a while.” Clarke answers. “You can go on. I’ll be in after while.”

Lexa rolls her eyes and makes her way over to the couch. She bends down and lifts up Clarke’s blonde head, before sitting down on the sofa as well and placing Clarke’s head back into her lap. “I’ll stay up with you.” Lexa says quietly. The brunette notices that Clarke is very fidgety and restless and she starts to laugh. “What’s wrong with you woman?”

“This dress is driving me crazy.” Clarke grunts, pulling at the dress material as she does so.

“You should have changed, genius.” Lexa jokes, poking Clarke in the side causing the blonde to spin around on the couch so that she’s now facing Lexa’s toned stomach. Clarke starts to tickle Lexa, knowing full well how bad she hates it. “Clarke! Stop – Oh… Shit! You’re an ass!” The brunette giggles and continues to do so as Clarke leans in starts blowing raspberries on the visible skin of Lexa’s abdomen. “God. I hate that so much, Clarke!”

The blonde is laughing uncontrollably with her best friend. “I know. That’s why I’m doing it, genius.” She teases, echoing Lexa’s earlier name choice. She continues to slowly blow raspberries on her best friend’s stomach until their laughter dies down. Lexa thinks that Clarke must be drifting off to sleep, finally. That is until she feels those soft lips on her stomach once more, but this time… they’re not teasing her. At least not in the playful way that they just were. No. This time, she realizes, Clarke is kissing her stomach. 

Shit.

Clarke slowly places soft, tender kisses up the small amount of skin that she can see in front of her face. She ignores that fact that Lexa seems to have stopped all breathing. One of Lexa’s hands is splayed across Clarke’s stomach and her other one moves up to the blonde’s hair. At first, Clarke thinks that she’s going to pull her back… but that never happens.

The blonde raises a hand and slowly lifts the material of Lexa’s tank top just a little bit more. This time, she hears the hitch in her best friend’s breathing. “Clarke.” Lexa practically moans as her best friend’s full lips, slowly make their way further up her own stomach. Clarke hums against her skin in acknowledgement, but Lexa doesn’t say anything else. She can’t. She’s completely speechless. Clarke’s kisses start to be a little less soft. A few times, Lexa feels little nips of teeth against her tight skin and tries to hold back a whimper. After a while, Clarke completely stops kissing her, and Lexa is both relieved and a little frustrated that this has happened. She starts to think that Clarke must have fallen asleep, but then there’s a sudden shift, and Clarke is sitting up on her knees on the sofa and Lexa looks at her with a little bit of worry on her face.

“Clarke? What is it?” Lexa asks quietly, and the blonde only stares at her. The stare is full of something, but Lexa can’t decide what. “Clar – “ She’s interrupted when she sees Clarke start pulling up the hem of her own dress that she still has on. She pulls the material up until it’s bunched around her hips, causing Lexa to try and attempt to swallow the large, dry lump in her throat. Lexa’s speechless once again and she can’t bring herself to say anything else. The blonde moves slowly to straddle Lexa’s lap, now that her dress is out of the way. She hesitantly places her hands on Lexa’s shoulders. Their eyes seem to be glued to each other. Green, blue, green, blue, green, blue. That’s all that they see. 

Lexa’s mouth is parted a bit, still unable to form words, and her chest is heaving trying to draw in even the slightest bit of air. Clarke leans in and kisses the brunette’s neck. Lexa can’t help it, she really can’t, and she brings her hands up to Clarke’s thighs, rubbing the soft skin there with her calloused hands. She feels small goose bumps forming on Clarke’s pale skin. Lexa moves her head slightly to the side so that Clarke can have more access to her neck.

This is wrong. This is so wrong.

Clarke’s lips eventually make their way up to the sculpted jaw attached to the neck. This time, Lexa can’t help the moan that slips from her lips as Clarke’s lips make their path down her jaw and slowly to her lips where they stop. Just millimeters away. Lexa can feel her best friend’s breath mingled with her own and she can see the sadness in Clarke’s sapphire eyes as they stare into each other’s soul for what feels like a lifetime. Lexa could. She could spend a lifetime looking at Clarke like this. There’s no doubt in her mind.

“Clarke, I – “ The blonde’s nose bumps her own and causes her to stop speaking. She feels the slight graze of lips against her own. She can’t do this. This is wrong. She’s engaged. This is her best friend. She can’t ruin this.

Clearly, though, Clarke has other plans. The breath is sucked out of Lexa’s lungs with Clarke’s plump lips finally crash into her own. It’s not fast, it’s not heated. It’s slow. It’s warm. It’s perfect. And Lexa only wants to live out her days right here in this moment. 

To both of their dismay, Clarke pulls back after only a few seconds. She must have just realized what she had done. “Lexa – I’m – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have – “

“Hey.” Lexa says softly, pushing a strand of blonde hair back behind her friend’s ear. “It’s okay.” Lexa coos. “You’ve been drinking. I know that you didn’t mean it.” There’s a sad smile from the brunette.

“But – “ Clarke starts and is quickly interrupted.

“Let’s get you to bed. Okay?” Lexa says, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s waist and picking her up as she stands from the sofa. She carries her friend to the bed and grabs her some pajamas. With pants this time. She helps Clarke change into them and gently tucks her into the bed. “Goodnight, Clarke.” Lexa says gently, leaning across the bed to place a kiss on the blonde’s forehead.

Clarke doesn’t answer because she’s already passed out. Lexa’s heart is still thrumming hard in her chest and she feels tears start to run down her chiseled cheeks. She can’t do this. It’s too much.

She hesitates, but slowly makes her way to the living room. She’ll sleep on the couch tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well??? What did you think? It's kind of sad, right? :( Stay tuned in for more soon.
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	7. NOT AN UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I'm so sorry that I've left you all hanging with this fic. My desktop crashed and is now in the shop. All of my notes and the chapters that I've started are all saved on that computer, so that's why I haven't continued with this one yet. However, I did buy a new laptop a couple of weeks ago and started on another fic while I wait for my desktop to be repaired. Go check it out if you haven't already. It's called, 'This Love is Criminal'. Thank you all for being patient with me! You're the best! <3
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90

Go read, 'This Love is Criminal'


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Finally!! It's been so long, I had to actually go back and read what I have written so far to try and get my feel for where I was at in the story. I would like to tell y'all that, for some reason, these past two chapters have been hard as hell for me to write. I think that it's because it's from a movie that I love and cherish, and the past two chapters have gone astray from the movie (for length purposes), and I'm having to make stuff up that actually kind of makes since with the rest of the story... if that makes since?? So, I hope that this chapter isn't too terrible, and for those of you that have seen the movie and enjoy it, I have two words for you... FERRY SCENE! ;)

The night passes by slowly, for Lexa, at least, because Clarke was passed smooth out, leaving the brunette alone to dwell in her thoughts. Lexa’s mind was reeling. Everything that had just happened… it was all just so, so wrong, on so many levels, but it felt so good. Too good, and Lexa starts to think that maybe she should have showered before getting into the bed. Her best friend,   
Clarke Griffin, had just teased and kissed her, and Lexa had let her. That was what was wrong. Clarke wasn’t in her right mind.   
She was pretty heavily intoxicated, and Lexa took advantage of that for her own feelings. She knows that Clarke doesn’t think of her in that way. It’s just always been Clarke’s way to be extra flirty and touchy-feely with people. 

Lexa was sure that if Costia ever found out about this, she would be dead in a river somewhere, with not a single shred of evidence or a witness. Costia doesn’t even know that Lexa is staying with Clarke, for Christ’s sake. Lexa is officially the worst fiancé ever. 

It feels like it takes hours, but eventually, Lexa finally manages to doze off on the sofa in Clarke’s living room.

When Clarke wakes, she immediately feels like she’s going to throw up everywhere. Her head is pounding the immediate, blinding light, shining through her bedroom window is not helping matters at all. She, slowly, brings a hand up to shield her eyes from the Sun. After a few moments of just lying there, contemplating her current hangover, she realizes something. Yes. She was terribly drunk last night, and yes… she shouldn’t have drank so much, but it wasn’t enough to make her forget what she had done. 

She had kissed Lexa.

Shit.

And not only had she kissed Lexa… Clarke kissed her stomach, up to her neck, to her sculpted jaw, and then finally met the brunette’s gorgeous, full lips. Kissing Lexa is definitely an otherworldly experience. It wasn’t the first time that it had happened, but it’s been around seven or so years since the last time, and Clarke had almost forgotten the feeling.

Clarke sits up, in bed, and slings her legs over the edge. The first thing that she notices, is that the other side of the bed hadn’t been slept in, and her heart sinks a little. She scared Lexa off. She put her best friend in a compromising position, and her heart starts to crack at how awful Lexa must feel for being a part of that kiss. She’s fucking engaged, for crying out loud. Clarke is officially the worst best friend ever.

After she is finally able to stand without feeling like she was going to tip over or puke or both, she makes her way, slowly, to the door of her bedroom and peeks her head through the crack to look into the living room. All of the lights were out, still, and her heart cracks even more when she doesn’t see her best friend. Lexa isn’t on the couch. She isn’t in the kitchen. She isn’t the bathroom. Clarke starts to freak out internally. Her chest is rising and falling with her quick and uneven breaths. She feels her knees become even more wobbly than they already were, and she, now, feels even more physically sick.

“Lexa?” She calls out, as she timidly makes her way out of her bedroom. There’s no answer, which doesn’t surprise her. She chased Lexa away. The last person on this earth that she would want to do that to. The only person in her life that has truly, always been there for her, through thick and thin. She tells herself that she’s not going to cry, but clearly, her eyes didn’t get the memo. A few stray tears make their way down the slopes of her cheeks and down the side of her jaw before she manages to wipe them away. What has she done? She should have just came out and told Lexa about her feelings as soon as she realized them.   
Now everything is crumbling down.

Clarke finds herself falling down onto her couch. She’s supposed to go check out a new gallery today, whenever she gets the chance, but she’s not really feeling up to it now. She grabs the blanket, that’s folded on the back of the sofa, and drags it over her body. Clarke pulls the material up to her face, and is hit directly with the scent that is Lexa. She hugs the blanket impossibly closer, and after a while, she’s fallen back to sleep, with thoughts of Lexa, and her whereabouts, being the only thing on her mind.

 

//

 

“Taxi!” Lexa yells, with her hand thrown up in the air, and she makes her way out of Yankee stadium. Her first rookie interview went rather well, and she is actually looking forward to the next one, which is tomorrow. Her day, so far, has been long and tiring, not physically, but her mind is completely wearing her down. The events of the previous night are etched into her brain, and her stomach begins to knot up and she wants to be sick. Not because she didn’t like what happened, she loved it, but she’s married, and now she has to live with the fact that she let her best friend kiss her, while she’s engaged to another woman. Not only engaged, but their wedding is in a matter of days.

Lexa really didn’t know what to do, this morning, when she first woke up. She would, normally, make she and Clarke some sort of breakfast, or take her friend out to eat somewhere, but that wasn’t the case this time around. She didn’t know how to face Clarke after what had happened. She’s not mad at Clarke, by no means… she’s just confused. More confused than she’s ever been by anything in her entire life.

Of course, Lexa had feelings for Clarke. Feelings that she should not have for someone who is her best friend. Lexa knows that it’s wrong, because she’s married, and that just makes everything worse. When she had first met Costia, the younger girl definitely swept her off of her feet. The first couple of months were great. Costia was fun, and hilarious, and, for the most part, easy to get along with. They had their fights and arguments, but they usually overcame them fairly quickly. Once Lexa started to tell her girlfriend about Clarke, however, is when things started to change in their relationship, and if that would have happened before their engagement, Lexa might not have proposed. Costia didn’t like the fact that Lexa’s best friend was a woman. A very attractive woman. And it didn’t help that they had known each other for a long time. Costia was being insecure, but Lexa kept reassuring her girl that she and Clarke were only friends, and that’s all that they ever would be… but now, Lexa’s not entirely sure that she can get over these feelings anymore. She thought that she could hold them at bay, but that wasn’t working.

Lexa had to know what Clarke was thinking. She had to know what her best friend was feeling, and maybe then… she could finally do what she hasn’t had the guts to do, and end things with Costia. She hated to part ways with the girl. She loved her, but   
Lexa doesn’t think that she was ever really in love with her. Just the idea, maybe, because her heart has always really belonged to someone else, now that she thinks about it.

“Where to?” The cab driver in front of her asks impatiently, as soon as she plops down into the back seat. The cab smelled awful, like cigarettes and carryout, and Lexa scrunched her nose, attempting to only breathe through her mouth. 

“Fifty-sixth street.” She replies, after thinking about it for a moment. She really didn’t get into the cab with any place in particular to go, but she knew that she wanted to go and talk to Clarke. Lexa would swing by the Milkbar on the upper west side, and pick up a few compost cookies. They’re Clarke’s favorites.

The cab ride to Milkbar wasn’t very long at all. It must have been the time of day or something. Or the universe just wanted Lexa to get back to Clarke as quickly as possible… it could happen. Once Lexa had picked up some of the compost cookies, (and a crack pie just for the hell of it), she decided to walk the rest of the way to her best friend’s apartment. The walk wasn’t long at all, so she made it there in no time flat.

Lexa made her way to Clarke’s apartment door, lifted up the small potted plant to retrieve the key, and unlocked the door. Almost as soon as the brunette made it through the door, she was pretty much tackled by a body, out of nowhere. She caught a glimpse of blonde hair, and looked down to see Clarke clinging to her. Lexa couldn’t really hug back, because she had her arms full of junk food. Clarke looked up to her, and Lexa noticed that her friend look sad. Her eyes were a little puffy, and she could tell that the red around them had already faded some. Clarke had been crying.

“Lex, I – I’m so, so sorry.” Clarke says softly, shaking her head and leaning back into Lexa’s chest. “I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have – I don’t know what I was doing. That was a huge mistake, and I shouldn’t have put you into that position. You’re getting married, and we’re just… friends.” That statement sounded more like a question, to Lexa, than anything else. “You know how I get when I’m drunk, and I just – “

“Clarke.” Lexa interrupts her, causing blue eyes to look back up at her. Lexa smiles at her best friend, even though her heart aches at all of Clarke’s words. She said that it was a ‘huge mistake’… She said that they were ‘just friends’. Lexa was really hoping that Clarke would say what Lexa had been wanting to hear for a long time. That Clarke had the same feelings for Lexa as   
Lexa had for Clarke. But that, clearly, didn’t happen. “It’s okay.” Lexa continues. “I know that you didn’t mean anything by it. I’ve been around drunk you several times now.” She teases, and gets a miniscule smile from the blonde before her. 

Clarke wipes at her eyes once more, releasing her hold on her best friend. She was so embarrassed that she had let that happen last night. Now, it seemed like it would never be a good time to admit her feeling. To confess all of the things that she’s been wanting to for so long now. Things were too awkward under the circumstance, and Clarke couldn’t risk pushing Lexa further away than she probably already did. “Can we, please, just forget that that happened?” She pushes out a low chuckle to try to hide the fact that she really just wants to sob. “I was being stupid.”

“It’s completely forgotten.” Lexa attempts a smile as she chokes out the harmful words. Harmful to both herself and Clarke, but she didn’t know that. She forgets that she came back to the apartment bearing gifts, and she raises both hands to show the blonde in front of her. “I brought you you’re favorite. Compost cookies and crack pie from Milkbar.”

Clarke smiles, and she really wants to lean up and kiss her best friend on her cheek, but feels like that might be more than a little inappropriate right now. “Thanks, Lex. You’re the best.” Is what she settles for.

“You don’t know how much will power I had to use not to eat this on the way home.” The brunette grinned.

“Oh,” Clarke grins back, all of their awkwardness and embarrassment gone, for now. “I’m sure that I have an idea.” The two sit down at the island in Clarke’s kitchen. Clarke grabs two forks for the pie. They usually just ate it straight out of the tin. After a few moments of semi-comfortable silence, and between bites of cookie and pie, Clarke speaks up, realizing that she hadn’t asked Lexa about her day. “How was the first rookie interview?”

“So good.” Lexa smiles. “This kid is awesome, Clarke. Great talent, great morals… seems like an all-around good guy. His high school stats were amazing, and then when he moved up to the NCAA scene, he bettered them. Unreal.” Lexa replies as she stuffs another bite of pie into her mouth.

Clarke gazes at her friend, lost in her own thoughts, and smiling as Lexa spoke about her job with such enjoyment. “That’s great, Lex. I can’t wait to watch him play in the upcoming season.”

“I know. Me either.” Lexa grins, laying her fork down and taking a drink of the milk that Clarke had poured for her. “I’ll take you to a game. Get us a box.” When Clarke gives her a quizzical look, Lexa laughs, and Clarke’s heart melts. “I know a guy.” Lexa winks.

“Sounds like a plan.” Clarke smiles.

 

//

 

A couple of hours after the best friends have finished eating the treats that Lexa brought, Clarke is just finishing up in the shower and towel drying her hair when she thinks that she hears someone talking. Once she’s dressed in her jeans and top, she leaves the bathroom, and pokes her head into the living room. Lexa is standing there, looking as gorgeous as ever, and Clarke stands there’s trying to take it all in. She was glad that Lexa had agreed to forget about what had happened the previous night with the kiss and everything, but a part of Clarke wished that Lexa would have said that that’s what she wanted too. To be with Clarke in that capacity.

Clarke’s head and heart were in a weird place. Her heart was shattered, it felt like, from the way that things were going in her ‘feelings’ department, and her head was just hoping that things, at least, would stay the same with she and Lexa as friends. She’d rather have Lexa in her life as a friend, than not at all.

Lexa was still chatting away on the phone, and Clarke just catches the end of the conversation, and what she hears, pulverizes what’s left of her already shattered heart. “Okay, babe.” Lexa says, softly into her cellphone. “Yes, I promise. My flight should land at O’Hare around nine in the morning.” What? Lexa’s going back already. She’s supposed to be here for, at least, a couple of more days. This news doesn’t sit well in Clarke’s stomach. She did this. She pushed her friend away, and of course, Lexa being Lexa, she was just trying to be nice and let Clarke down easy. “Yes.” Lexa says again into the handheld phone. “You can pick me up if you want – I can’t wait to see you, either, Cos. Mhmm… bye, babe.” Lexa hangs up the call as she’s turning around, and Clarke can’t move quick enough so that Lexa wouldn’t see her standing there, listening to her conversation.

“Uh, I – I’m sorry… I just got out of the shower, and I – I heard you talking to someone.” Clarke stutters out, clearly shaken and upset about the whole ordeal. She thought that things were fine, but, of course, they weren’t.

“Oh.” Lexa says softly, moving to place her cellphone into the back of her jeans pocket. “It’s okay, Clarke.” She really hadn’t meant for Clarke to hear her conversation. She had wanted to tell the blonde that she decided on leaving New York early, in order to spend some more time with Costia before the wedding. That wasn’t entirely the truth, though. Lexa wanted to spend the time with Clarke, but now that she knows that Clarke thinks the kiss was a huge mistake, and that the blonde, clearly, doesn’t have those romantic feelings for her, Lexa thinks that she should go ahead and leave. Work on building things back with her fiancé.   
The woman that she is actually marrying. “I was going to tell you – I’m heading back to Chicago early. My flight leaves in the morning.”

“I heard.”

“It’s just – I should probably get back and spend some time with Costia before the wedding. See if there’s any last-minute stuff that I should see to, you know?” Lexa doesn’t even want to meet Clarke’s eyes, but she does, because the blonde deserves that.

“No. I know.” Clarke replies, with a small shake of her head. “You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“I do, though.” Lexa says softly, moving towards her friend. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I’m sorry. I should have told you that I was planning on leaving in the morning.”

“It’s fine, Lexa.” Clarke says. “Really.” She tries to put on her best fake smile, but Lexa doesn’t buy it. Of course, she doesn’t. Lexa knows her better than she knows herself. Lexa is right in front of her now, and the taller woman pulls Clarke in for a hug. 

Hesitantly, Clarke accepts it, and wraps her arms around Lexa. The brunette’s arms tighten and pull Clarke closer. Suddenly, this feels all too eerily of a ‘goodbye’ hug. Clarke buries her nose into Lexa’s shoulder, trying to do everything that she can to remember the other woman’s scent, as weird as that sounds. Lexa does the same, with her nose on top of Clarke’s head. “It’s just – “ Clarke starts, and she’s not entirely too sure of what she wants to say. “This is our last time together.”

Lexa pulls back immediately, but still holds Clarke in her arms. She furrows her brow and gives Clarke a puzzled look. “I just – I mean before the wedding.” Clarke corrects herself, although she’s not too sure how much time they’ll get together after the wedding. The shattered pieces of her heart, that are falling into the pit of her stomach, seem to cut everything in their path as they fall.

“I know.” Lexa says, sadly, her hands absentmindedly rubbing small circles into Clarke’s back. “Can we – would you like to, maybe, go do something with me? Right now?” Lexa wants to squeeze as much time in with her best friend before she leaves, and she really hopes that Clarke wants the same thing.

“Of course.” Clarke smiles, and Lexa reluctantly pulls away.

“Let’s go, then.” The brunette says, returning her friend’s smile, and the two of them grab their things and make their way out of the door.

 

//

 

It’s pretty late in the afternoon, and the setting sun is a glorious array of colors and warmth. Lexa had dragged Clarke along with her to the water’s edge, and the brunette bought them tickets on a tourist ferry that carries people around, showing them everything that New York has to offer tourists. The ferry isn’t too awfully crowded, and the two women find themselves standing at the very stern of the boat. They stand in silence for a lot of their time, neither knowing what to say or do. It’s sort of an unspoken thing that this will be their last time alone together for a while. Lexa knows that Clarke is right about Costia not wanting Lexa to spend time with her, and, even though, Lexa won’t let Costia dictate who she spends her time with, she’s sure that things will be strained between herself and her best friend.

Lexa, with her forearms rested on the railing at the back of the boat, takes in a deep breath, signaling to Clarke that she’s about to speak up, and she does. “I’ve been thinking a lot the past couple of days.” Lexa utters, and Clarke looks sideways to the other woman, urging her to continue. “About us, I mean.” And the brunette can’t bring herself to look at Clarke. Not yet.

Almost as if she’s too terrified to continue speaking, Lexa halts her words. “Have you?” Clarke asks, quietly, her eyes never leaving the side of Lexa’s face. Lexa’s gorgeous green eyes are focused out at the water in front of them, as if she’s searching for her next words. Or searching for the strength to say them. Lexa can only nod in acknowledgement to Clarke’s question. The blonde’s eyes flicker down to Lexa’s lips for a split second, before she averts her eyes back to the water. “Well, you know,” Clarke says with a faked grin, and she spins to where her back is to the railing and she crosses her arms in front of her chest. “Well there are a ton of different memories to choose from, I guess.”

“It’s more than that.” Lexa says immediately, turning to look at her best friend, and Clarke turns her head so that her eyes finally meet Lexa’s emerald ones. They both have to use their hands to push hair out of their eyes, when a strong gush of wind blows through. Lexa smirks, and cocks her head to the side a little bit, and Clarke can’t help but to smile back. “I mean, it’s a little bit embarrassing to say it this way, but” Lexa continues, now completely facing Clarke, and the blonde is listening intently. “You – you’ve sort of been… the woman in my life, you know?” Lexa sputters out, her face turning a light shade of pink at the admission.   
Clarke’s heart is hammering in her chest, and her eyes, once again, flicker down to Lexa’s lips before looking back to her eyes again. If Lexa notices, she doesn’t act like she did.

It takes a few seconds for Clarke to be able to respond, but she finally does, and there’s a little bit of sadness in her eyes. “Well,” Clarke clears her throat. “You’ve been the woman in mine.” The corner of her lips turn up a bit, but nothing to write home about.   
Her palms are sweaty, and the thumping organ in her chest is, surely, about to beat out.

Lexa turns so that her back is against the railing now, too. She props herself up on her hands, which are behind her, grasping onto the cold metal rails. “I was just – this could be our last time alone together, before… you know, the wedding.” Lexa admits sadly, and their eyes lock together once more before Clarke looks away, pushing a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and grinning a bit.

“Except for that hot affair that we’ll have twice a year.” She jokes nervously, causing Lexa to chuckle and raise her eyebrows seductively. 

“Except for that.” She says alluringly, and the both smile. Real, full, bright smiles, and they both fall for each other even further in that moment, if that’s at all possible. Lexa, being the roller coaster of a person that she is, starts talking again. “You know, you commit to this wedding, you pledge yourself to this person, and then it’s like this drive, this energy… and then you just forget that you chose it.” Lexa sounds a little out of breath, looking up at the sky, and throwing her hands in the air, gesturing at nothing, in particular. She’s irritated. She looks down at her feet for a second before looking back up at Clarke. “You and I, like, in our past relationships with other people… we didn’t, you know –“ Lexa runs her long fingers through her hair, pulling it back again because of the wind. “We didn’t use the word ‘love’ a lot, did we?” Clarke smiles a sad, small smile and looks down at her feet and shakes her head ‘no’. Lexa had only ever told one other person that she was in love with them, and that was Clarke, close to ten years ago. Clarke had only ever loved one person, and that was Lexa, and we all know how that’s turned out. She still hasn’t said the word. She still hasn’t expressed those feelings.

Lexa looks down at her feet again to, her fingers, behind her, wiggling on the rail. “Costia says, if you love someone, you should just say it.” The brunette says firmly, and Clarke looks back up to watch her mouth as she speaks, free to do so since Lexa is still looking downward. “You say it.” She says a bit louder, looking up at Clarke. “You say it out loud.” Her green eyes glance to   
Clarke’s lips, and she wishes that Clarke knew how her heart felt in her chest. How it seemed to only beat for the blonde. How it only ever hurt when she was around her, and couldn’t be honest with herself. “Or else, the moment kind of just - I don’t know…” Lexa trails off, her eyes still boring into Clarke’s. 

“Passes you by.” Clarke says almost as if she’s out of breath, and lost in her best friend’s eyes.

“Yeah.” Lexa says, nodding her head. Her mouth is slightly parted, and her chest is rising and falling rapidly. Green is only focused on blue, and it’s as if the world has stopped, and she feels herself leaning in a bit, before pulling back and looking straight ahead. Her eyes show that she’s mad and frustrated. Sad and depressed.  
Unshed tears fill Clarke’s cerulean eyes and she has to make herself look away, too. Her hands are shaking, and all that she wants to do, right now, is break down and cry. She wants to break down and cry, but she wants Lexa’s arms holding her when she does. She licks her lips and shakes her head, slightly, trying to focus and bring herself out of her funk. It doesn’t work, naturally. They both stand there, the sun in the sky, falling even lower now, and Clarke closes her eyes as the orange warmth settles over their faces as the ferry makes its way out from under a bridge that they just passed under.  
Clarke closes her eyes, and looks up to the painted sky. The two best friends stand there in silence for what feels like an eternity, but in reality, it was probably only a minute or two. Lexa tries her hardest to put on, yet another, fake smile and shakes her head. “We don’t even have a damn song.” She admits. “Costia and I,” Clarke turns to look at her friend, the tears still visible in her eyes, but Lexa isn’t looking at her. Her green eyes are still focused on the water ahead of them. “We don’t have a song. You think that’s a bad sign? Like taboo or something?” Lexa chuckles sarcastically, wondering when her life became this fake, totally false thing. Clarke grins at her and then they both laugh out loud… for some reason.   
Lexa thinks back to a time when she and Clarke were together. It’s a dangerous thought, but that the first place that her mind goes. A younger Clarke and a younger Lexa, dancing the night away at some college benefit party. Lexa had held Clarke in her arms so easily then, as their song played over the loud speakers in the benefit hall. Frank Sinatra’s cover of ‘The Way You Look Tonight’.

Without thinking, Lexa starts to sing quietly, so that only she and Clarke can hear. “Someday,” She sings, looking down to meet Clarke’s blue eyes and reaching back to place her hand on top of the blonde’s. They both share a warm and knowing smile.   
Clarke looks down and both of their faces are one-hundred percent serious again… or sad. “When I’m awfully low, and the world is cold.” Lexa lifts herself off of the railing and faces Clarke, forcing the blonde to look up to her again. “I will feel a glow, just thinking of you,” They grin at each other sweetly. “And the way you look,” Lexa’s eyes fall sad as she steps forward towards her best friend. She basically whispers. “Tonight.” Lexa stands directly in front of Clarke and grins again. “Is your dance card filled?” 

Clarke chuckles, and Lexa feels her heart warm even further. “Not sure.” Clarke teases, her tongue poking out from between her teeth as she smiles. “I keep it pretty booked up. I’m a popular girl, Miss Woods.”

“Oh, is that right?” Lexa grins widely, and holds out her hand for Clarke to take. The blue-eyed woman smiles and graciously accepts Lexa’s warm hand. Lexa’s left hand holds tightly to Clarke’s right, as they hold them in the air out to their sides. Clarke’s left hand settles between Lexa’s shoulder blades, and Lexa’s right hand takes purchase on the small of Clarke’s back. “With each word, your tenderness grows,” Lexa starts singing again, and Clarke lays her head on her friend shoulder, the hand that was between Lexa’s shoulder blades, now hanging on tightly to the brunette’s shoulder under Clarke’s head. “Tearing my fears apart.”   
Lexa rests the side of her face against the top of Clarke’s blonde head, and she tries to fight off her tears. She feels like she’s losing it. 

In their minds, they can both hear the instruments playing in time with Lexa’s words as they sway there, on the back end of the ferry boat, not caring if anyone is watching them or not. “With each laugh that wrinkles your nose, touches my foolish heart.”   
Clarke raises her hand a bit to wipe at the tears that have started falling down her face. ‘This can’t be happening. I can’t lose Lexa.’ Is all that she can think.

They continue dancing, while Lexa’s soft voice sings their song in Clarke’s ear. They lose track of time, and ignore everyone that is, more than likely, staring at them. Towards the end of the song, Clarke finds herself pulling back to look into green eyes. She doesn’t care that she’s been crying and that Lexa can see, but to her surprise, she sees that Lexa has been crying, as well. The both grin sadly at each other, and Lexa lifts a hands to wipe at Clarke’s face. This is by far the most heartbreaking thing that she’s ever done in her life, and getting married is supposed to be the happiest day of her life.

 

//

 

Later that night, as Clarke and Lexa prepare themselves for bed, Lexa digs Costia’s wedding ring out of her bag and jumps into Clarke’s bag, causing the blonde to laugh. “Whatcha got?” She asks, rolling over on her side and grinning widely at her best friend. Her eyes widen and her smile falls when she sees Lexa lift up, what looks to be, a ring box.

“I need you to hold onto this.” Lexa says hesitantly. “I’m going to have so much on my mind already, I don’t want to be in charge of this. I’ll lose it or forget it somewhere.”

“Lexa – I can’t.”

“Please, Clarke.” Lexa urges, putting the box into her friend’s hand and closing Clarke’s fingers around the small container. “As my Maid of Honor, it’s your duty.” She grins.

“Hey!” Clarke exclaims, slapping Lexa on the arm. “You can’t play that card!”

“I just did.”

Clarke groans. “Fine.” And Lexa smiles, and after a couple of moments of quiet, Clarke speaks again. The smile falling from her face. “I can’t believe you’re leaving in the morning.”

“I know.” Lexa grins sadly, lifting her hand to push a strand of Clarke’s hair back behind her so she can see her best friend. “I’m starting to think that Marcus may kill me if I keep you from any more work this week.” She teases. 

Clarke rolls her and eyes and then thinks. “Hey. What about your other rookie interview? Didn’t you have two set up?”

“I did, but the other kid got busted for drugs.” Lexa makes a face and so does Clarke. “Yeah… so that’s not happening. I’ll see you in a couple of days, though, alright?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Clarke answers, rolling over for a second and placing the ring box onto her nightstand. When she turns over, Lexa seems to be a bit closer, but she doesn’t question in, she just leans in and lays her head on Lexa’s chest, both of them wrapping their arms around one another tightly. “You smell good.” Clarke says, causing Lexa to grin.

“It’s called a ‘bath’, Clarke.”

Clarke smacks her in the stomach. “If you’re insinuating that I don’t shower, then you’re an ass, Woods.” Lexa actually laughs out loud, causing Clarke’s heart to swell and pound in her chest. 

“Go to sleep, Clarke.”

“I don’t want to.” Clarke practically whines like a child and Lexa looks up to give her a look. “Because when I wake up, you’ll be gone.” Lexa gives her best friend a sad smile, and leans down to place a kiss on the blonde’s forehead. Her lips linger there for far too long, but neither of them seems to care. Clarke stays up for another couple of hours, just holding on to Lexa and having small, meaningful conversations with each other. She refuses to cry again, and when she finally falls asleep from exhaustion, Lexa is still there, holding tightly to her side, and placing kissed to the top of blonde hair every little while.

This is what love should feel like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Was it okay? Did you like it? Did you cry? I kind of teared up writing the ferry scene, I'm not going to lie. Let me know what you thought in the comments, and feel free to leave kudos. ;)
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! This chapter has nothing in common with the movie, really. I'm adding stuff to prolong everything, so I hope that this fits in and makes at least a little bit of sense. Thank you all for sticking with me and reading my stuff. 
> 
> Go check out the other fic that I'm working on, if you haven't already. It's called, 'This Love is Criminal'.

By the time that Clarke wakes the next morning, Lexa is nowhere to be found, and she can’t stop the tears from freely flowing down her cheeks as she digs her head further into her pillow, the faint smell of Lexa’s shampoo lingering on the sheets there. Hours seem to go by until she finally falls asleep from exhaustion of crying.

When Clarke wakes up again, she knows that it’s already well into the afternoon, but she can’t bring herself to care. She doesn’t have the willpower to get up right now, and she’s not sure that she will have it for a while. She stares at the ceiling of her bedroom far too long for any sane person, until she finally rolls to her side to grab her cell phone off of her nightstand. She’s not really surprised to find that she has countless missed calls, and multiple text messages from the usual people. Three texts from Raven. Two missed calls and seven text messages from Octavia. One missed call and one text message from her boss, Marcus Kane. Three texts from Wells, and one from Lexa. The messages from Raven, Octavia, and Wells were all, basically, the same thing. They were worried about Clarke, hoping that she was making it okay now that Lexa was gone. 

She’s not. She’s not okay.

She bites back the sob that aches to leave her dry throat, and checks the message from Marcus. 

 

MARCUS KANE (1:34PM)- Clarke, I know that you said you needed a few more days off, but I was wondering if you could run down to the new gallery opening up on fifth? I believe it’s called ‘Grounders’. Could be a good piece for you. Let me know.

 

Clarke sighs, and rolls back over to her back, holding her phone up above her face, before she’s accidently dropping it, and it lands right on top of her nose. “Shit.” She groans, grabbing her phone again, and rubbing her palm across her nose. She starts to think that maybe she should get out and do something. Do anything to keep her mind off of the one thing that seems to be plaguing it.

 

CLARKE (2:03PM) – I’ll go check it out, Kane. Thanks.

 

There’s a gnawing feeling inside her stomach that tells her to skip over the message from Lexa, but then there’s the small organ in her chest, the one that beats erratically at the thought of her best friend, that’s telling her to read it. Clarke finally just decides to ‘bite the bullet’, and read the text. It’s probably nothing too important anyway. When she clicks on the four letter name, her eyes widen at the long message. She was expecting something short and to the point.

 

LEXA (12:37PM) – Hey. I’m sorry that I left without waking you this morning. I just couldn’t bring myself to have to say goodbye again, even though I know that I will see you Saturday. At least I hope that I will. I really do need you by my side through all of this, but I would understand if you didn’t come. I know that you and Costia haven’t had the best interactions, and I’m sorry for that. I think that once she gets   
over all of her jealousy, and you both get to know each other, you’ll learn to like each other. I know that I’m the only person that can manage to ramble through text message, but I just need you to know that I will understand if you don’t show up, Clarke. We’ll talk soon.

 

Clarke takes in a deep breath and exhales slowly, trying to steady herself and all of the emotions that seem to flood through her just from reading a damn text from Lexa. First of these emotions, is grief. Clarke is sad that Lexa didn’t tell her goodbye and that she actually doesn’t think that Clarke would show up for her wedding, even if she is marrying Miss Bitchy Pre-Teen Illinois. Although, there are voices in the back of her head telling her that it might be best, in the long scheme of things, to skip the wedding all together, she knows that she would never be able to do that. Not to Lexa. If Lexa needs Clarke there, then she will be there. Not matter how badly it hurts.

The second emotion is anger. Once again, because Lexa didn’t tell her goodbye, and because she actually thinks that Clarke and Costia would get along. Costia Daniels and Clarke Griffin will never be friends. They will never like each other. Costia made damn sure of that when she locked herself inside of that elevator with Clarke, on the first day that they had met. Clarke’s blood boils at the thought.

And even though Clarke hates Costia, maybe Lexa was right. Maybe Costia is just jealous. Lexa is something worth fighting for. That’s for sure. Clarke, more than anyone, can understand that. Maybe Costia wasn’t actually that bad. There has to be something that Lexa sees in the girl for her to be marrying her.

Clarke sighs, and locks her phone. She doesn’t bother replying to her best friend, because she doesn’t know what in the hell that she would say. There’s nothing that she can say to make any of this feel better. To make any of this feel right. There’s just not.

She rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for her day. She’s going to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. She’s going to march out into the world, walk down to this new gallery and do her job. Leaving all thoughts of her love for her best friend behind her.

Or at least trying to.

 

//

 

“Lex!” Costia squeals once she sees her fiancé in the airport. Costia had called Lexa earlier that morning to let her know that she could be the one to come pick her up, and Lexa couldn’t believe that she actually wanted to, but she wasn’t going to complain. Costia throws her arms around Lexa’s neck, pulling her in tightly, and startling the brunette. She wraps one arm around Costia’s small body, while her other is still holding on to her carry-on bag. “I’ve missed you.” Her fiancé says into her ear, before pulling back and placing a kiss to her lips.

Lexa chuckles lightly, wondering what’s gotten her fiancé in such a good mood. She can’t help but wonder if she’s only like this because Clarke isn’t here with them, but as soon as the thought came, she tries to push thoughts of the blonde out of her head for now. Lexa needed to focus on Costia. The woman that she’s marrying in three days. “I missed you too.” Lexa smiles a small smile, and clenches her hand in the material of Costia’s shirt.

“Come on.” Costia says, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her through the crowd of people running around in O’Hare airport. “Let’s grab your luggage and then go find something to eat. I’m starved.” Lexa laughs, but doesn’t say anything. She only follows Costia, her hand linked with the other woman’s as she pulls her along.

Once they retrieved Lexa’s suitcase, the two women jumped in to the back of the black SUV that’s Costia’s driver drove her around in. Lexa hated it. She hated be carried around like she was some helpless child, but she didn’t fuss because Costia had always had a driver. It’s all that she’s ever known. She grew up with it. The driver, Greg, dropped them off at Costia’s favorite restaurant downtown, before leaving to drop off Lexa’s luggage at her hotel. 

Lexa had never really liked this restaurant. Some fancy, French place called Ville de Lumière. Lexa recalls Costia telling her that it meant ‘City of Light’ or something to that affect. She honestly doesn’t know how she remembers that. Clarke would tease her of being a nerd for remembering something like that. She immediately shakes her head, attempting to make herself forget thoughts of the blonde in this moment. Right now, she’s with her fiance and Costia has just said something to her, and she has no idea what it was.

“Shit, babe.” Lexa utters, once she’s broken out of her reverie. Clearly, Costia had been trying to grab her attention for the past couple of seconds. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“I was asking how your trip was.” Costia says with a hint of irritation in her voice. It’s something that Lexa has grown to know the sound of. “What’s wrong with you? Something seems – off.”

“Nothing, Cos.” Lexa smiles sleepily, and reaches her hand across the table to place hers on top of her fiancé’s. “I’m just tired is all.” Costia looks at her like she doesn’t truly believe her, but luckily, for Lexa, she doesn’t take the subject any further.

“So, how was it?” Costia asks after another few moments of silence. “Did you get to see any of your old friends? I know that you said you had a couple of old drinking buddies that live in New York. Did you get to see them?” Costia was wrong. Lexa had told her that she had a couple of old drinking buddies back in San Francisco, not in New York, but Lexa really isn’t surprised. She tries not to let it bother her too much that Costia seems to never listen to her completely. At least, that’s the way that it seems to Lexa.

“Uhh – no.” Lexa replies, looking down at the menu, even though she already knows what she’s getting. She gets the same thing every time because it’s the only think on the menu that she can actually understand. “No. I was really busy with work.” And she knows that she shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t, but she doesn’t want to lie to Costia. That’s not really her style, even though omitting a few key details couldn’t possibly hurt. “I got to hang out with Clarke quite a bit, and we hung out with Wells a couple of times. Oh – and Octavia and Raven stopped by for a bit too.”

Lexa notices the tightness form in Costia’s jaw, and the way that her fiancé’s fingers grasp at the menu in her hands. Lexa takes a sip of her water to try and soothe her dry throat. “You saw Clarke?” Costia’s voice is low, and she grits her teeth, barely getting out each word.

“Well, yeah.” Lexa answers. “She’s my best friend and she lives in the city. Why wouldn’t I hang out with her?” She really hopes that this doesn’t turn into some sort of huge argument. She doesn’t have the will to go through that right now.

Costia takes a sip of her wine and glares at Lexa over the top of her glass. There’s the Costia that she’s seen the past few weeks. “And what do you mean that you and Clarke hung out with Wells? Don’t they live together?”

“Oh.” Shit. Lexa thinks to herself. She did not think about that. Costia still thinks that Clarke and Wells are engaged. Shit. Shit. Shit. “Uh – they decided that they were better off as friends.” Lexa shrugs, knowing how stupid that sounds. “Turns out that Wells is gay. Who knew?” Lexa laughs nervously and takes another sip of her water.

“So, Clarke isn’t marrying him, then?”  
“Uh – no?”

“Well, I’m sure that Clarke is positively devastated.” Costia says, and Lexa can sense the sarcasm dripping from her voice. “I hope that you were able to comfort her in her time of need.”

“Here we go.” Lexa says quietly, as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. “Why do you hate her so much? She’s done nothing to you, Costia.” Lexa’s voice is soft and gentle, even though she wants to yell at the top of her lungs. She’s so agitated. Not just with Costia, but with everything. She wonders when her life became this messed up world of lies and devastation. 

“I don’t hate her.” Costia answers, and that’s a complete, boldfaced lie. “I just don’t like that fact that every time she’s around you, she has her hands all over you. It’s so obvious that she’s in love with you.” Her fiancé says matter-of-factly, and Lexa feels her own eyes widen. What? “She needs to learn her place, and that’s not with you.”

Lexa chews on that bit of information for a moment, letting her mind filter through what Costia had just said. Costia thinks that it’s obvious that Clarke is in love with her? Clarke’s just always been a touchy, feely kind of person. She’s not – she can’t possibly be in love with Lexa. They’re friends. Best friends. Clarke made that very clear, when she broke Lexa’s heart, all of those years ago. “Clarke is not in love with me, Costia. Get that through your head.” And she doesn’t know if she’s telling the last part to Costia or to herself, because that couldn’t possibly be true. “She’s always been the kind of person to cling to her friends.   
She’s very affectionate, and she means absolutely nothing by it. She’s my best friend, and this is the last I want to hear of this, okay? I’m marrying you. Isn’t that enough for you? Why do you not believe me?”

“Whatever, Lexa.” Costia says, signaling the waiter that she’s ready with her order. “I’m sorry that I started this argument, but if she tries anything –“

“What would she try, Cos? Clarke wouldn’t do that to anyone, okay? Stop worrying and let’s have a good meal.”

“Alright.”

 

//

 

“So, she said nothing? She didn’t wake you up or anything?” Octavia asks Clarke, as the two of them plus Raven and Wells sit around in Clarke’s living room. Clarke had finally given in and allowed her friends to come over so that she could talk to them and fill them in on everything. She knew that they all just wanted what was best for both herself and Lexa. It’s been over a day since Lexa left, and she still hasn’t talked to Lexa. Clarke has never felt so empty.

“I woke up and she was gone.” Clarke replies, turning up the bottle of beer that she held tightly in her palm. 

“Well, I’m sure that is was difficult enough as it was. Maybe she just didn’t want to go through the pain of saying goodbye.”

“That’s what she said in the text.” Clarke says, trying to put on a brave face. A strong front, proving that this doesn’t bother her as much as her friends seem to think that it does. Even though, deep down, she knows that that is a lie if she’s ever heard one.

“Clarke.” Wells says softly, leaning over and placing his hand gently on top of Clarke’s knee. “Lexa loves you. Anyone with eyes can see that.”

Clarke lets out a groan and stands up from the couch to go toss the now empty bottle, in her hand, away. She then grabs another from the refrigerator before making her way back onto the couch with her friends. “If she loved me, then she wouldn’t be marrying that goody-two-shoes.”

“Well, you love her.” Raven chimes in. “And you haven’t grown the balls to tell her. Maybe she’s just as scared as you are. Maybe she’s scared of rejection too. Maybe she is like you, and doesn’t want to jeopardize your friendship.”

“That’s a lot of ‘maybes’.”

“Maybe.” Raven grins, and Clarke finally cracks, something akin to, a smile.

Clarke lies down with her head in Octavia’s lap and her feet in Wells’, letting out a groan as she throws her arm over her eyes. “It’s too late.” She says. “I’m flying back out in the morning, and she’s getting married the day after.”

“It’s not too late, Clarke.” Wells says. “But it will be if you don’t grow the hell up and get your shit together.” Clarke raises a bit to glare at him, but he pretends to not notice. “Do what Raven said, and grow a pair.   
If you want Lexa to be happy, then you know what you have to do.”

“Of course, I want her to be happy!” Clarke exclaims, and she doesn’t mean for it to come out as loudly and as forcefully as it did. “But who says that I’m what makes her happy?”

Wells groans and stands up, grabbing his satchel and throwing it over his shoulder. He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Clarke’s head before saying, “I won’t talk about this again. It’s obvious how you both feel for each other. Do your thing, Griffin, or stop pouting around.” He says that with as much sincerity as he can, because he does, truly, want what’s best for Clarke. And with that, he leaves.  
Clarke pouts her bottom lip out and Raven chuckles into her beer. “Tough love.” The Latina girl teases.

“You’re damn right it is.”

 

//

 

Lexa paces around her hotel room late, Friday night, with her cellphone in her hand, gripping it like she’ll never let it go. Her palms are sweaty and her knuckles have turned white, and she’s almost positive that she’s burnt a hole in the floor from the friction of her pacing. She feels as if she’s been at it for at least an hour now. 

She hasn’t heard from Clarke at all. No response to her text from the previous day or anything. She’s really starting to freak the fuck out. Lexa finally makes her way over to the large window, in her room, near her bed, and clicks the name on her phone, bringing the phone up to her ear, slowly. After about the third ring, someone picks up on the other end.

“Woods! It’s about damn time you called.” She hears Octavia’s voice, as she answers her call. She’s been debating calling her friend all day, and she finally caved. “I was wondering if I would hear from you before you went and got hitched.”

Lexa rolls her eyes, even though she knows that Octavia can’t see her. “How are you?” She asks, ignoring her friend’s comment all together. 

“Good. I’m good. What about yourself? Ready to get married?”

“Yes.” Lexa answers almost a little too quickly. “Uh – yeah. I am. Have you, umm – have you spoken with Clarke?” She hears a small, barely audible sigh come from the other end of the line, and something that sounds like the shuffling of feet.

“Yeah.” Octavia replies quietly, almost as if she were trying to hide from someone. “I’m – uh, I’m actually at her place right now.”

“What? You’re still in the city?”

“Yes, Commander. Chill. Raven, Clarke, and I are all flying out in the morning. You know that we wouldn’t miss your wedding.”

Lexa takes in a deep sigh of relief. That’s the first that she’s heard, for sure, that Clarke is still planning on attending. Words can’t describe how relieved she is to hear that, but it also makes her worrisome. Being around Clarke, always seems to make Lexa weak in the knees, and she doesn’t think that she will ever get used to that feeling. She doesn’t understand why she could never feel that with Costia. She loves Costia. She does, but it’s different from what she feels when she’s with Clarke, and she wishes that she didn’t feel this way. It hurts to know that someone doesn’t love you the way that you love them.

“I know, I know.” Lexa replies, finally. “I just – how is she?” Lexa asks, and Octavia knows, immediately, that she’s talking about Clarke. “Is she mad at me for just leaving yesterday? I didn’t want to wake her and I just - it felt like I was saying goodbye to her, you know? I don’t know why, I mean, she’ll always be my best friend. I guess, I just know that things will be different now, and that we won’t get to spend as much time together and I –“

“Lexa, you’re rambling.” Octavia says into the phone, and her voice is not teasing. She knows that Lexa is nervous about everything. About the wedding. About her friendship with Clarke. She understands that Lexa is under a lot of duress at the moment.

“Yeah. Sorry.” Lexa utters under her breath, her hand coming up to rub at the back of her neck and pick at her baby hairs that line the base of her skull. She really just needs to change the subject. She can’t think about this right now. “So, uh – when does your flight leave in the morning?”

“I think around eight or so.” Octavia says. “Clarke has the tickets, but I think that that’s what she told me. We should be in Chicago around lunch time, or a little before.”

“I would come pick you guys up, but Costia and I have some last-minute fittings at Vera Wang, and I don’t know how long that we will be there.”

“It’s fine, Woods.” Octavia says. “But, uh – I should probably get back in there. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Umm, yeah. See you tomorrow, O.” When the call ends, Lexa is even more confused than ever. Octavia acted like she was trying to hide the fact that she was talking to Lexa from Clarke. Why? Is Clarke mad at Lexa? Is she so mad that she doesn’t even want to hear about her? Lexa’s not sure that she can handle much more of this. Her nerves are shot. Her anxiety seems to be taking control of her body. She doesn’t even feel like Lexa Woods anymore. She doesn’t know who she is. Not without her best friend. Not without Clarke.

Lexa tosses her phone across the room, in a split second of rage, hoping that it would land on the sofa or something soft, at least. She doesn’t wait up to see where it lands, and quickly makes her way out the door and down a couple of floors to Costia’s room. Her father had set them both up to be in the hotel this weekend, but he doesn’t approve of them staying together before marriage.

Once Lexa’s made her way to the floor that Costia is on, she walks down the hallway, her breath coming to her in spurts. Raising a hand, she forcefully knocks on the door, and hears feet shuffling on the other side. Her hands are shaking in a bit of anxiety and anger. The anger is all on her, though. This is her fault. It’s her fault that she’s in this position. She has to push these unrequited feelings, for Clarke, out of her mind.

As soon as the hotel room door opens, and Costia steps out, Lexa tries to focus solely on her fiancé. “Lexa, what is it? What’s wro –“ Costia doesn’t get the chance to finish before she’s being backed up into her room, and Lexa is crashing their lips together. Costia is way more than caught off guard by the whole thing, but she’s not going to complain. It’s been forever since Lexa has shown any kind of initiative to start something like this. It hasn’t been forever since Costia’s been with someone though. She’s ashamed, but she wasn’t getting any attention from Lexa, and while Lexa was gone to New York over the past week, Costia might have met up with someone. It was just a one night thing, though. It meant nothing. She feels like Lexa doesn’t really need to know.

By the time Costia is pulled out of her regretful thoughts, she realizes that Lexa has already pulled the shirts from both of their bodies, and since Costia was already in her pajamas, that means that she’s only left in her underwear. Lexa seems to be intent on something, but she’s not sure what. She’s in her own world.

Lexa is being more forceful and dominant than usual, as she kisses Costia’s lips. There’s a clash of tongues and teeth going on, before Lexa pulls away for a breath, but she’s quickly leaning back in to suck and bite at Costia’s neck, earning a loud moan from her fiancé. All of the time, Lexa is pushing them backwards, until the back of Costia’s knees hit the mattress and they topple over. Costia starts to laugh, but there is no emotion whatsoever on Lexa’s sculpted face. She’s a stoic and unreadable as ever.

Lexa knows that she should be thinking solely of Costia, the woman that’s writhing underneath her at the moment, but she can’t get the images of blue eyes and blonde hair out of her head. Her head is pounding and she feels dizzy, but she pushes through. She can’t have these thoughts. She leans in to Costia’s chest and forcefully sucks a nipple between her lips, not minding that she’s scraping her teeth all across the other woman’s chest.

It’s still not enough. This isn’t enough to her, and she moves down even further and with one fell swoop, she rips the underwear from Costia’s hips. That’s right. She rips them, and she can’t even bring herself to care. This was going to be a long night for Costia, physically, and for Lexa, emotionally.

 

//

 

Octavia walks back into the living room where Raven and Clarke are sitting. She had just gotten off of the phone with Lexa, and she was really hoping that they wouldn’t ask her who it was on the phone. But, of course, she’s not that lucky. “Was that Lexa?” Clarke asks, the red bags still visible under her eyes from where she was crying earlier. Octavia doesn’t answer immediately, she only looks at Clarke like she has no idea of what she’s talking about, hoping that the subject would be dropped. Octavia plops down on the couch beside her blonde friend, and the question comes again. “Octavia, was that Lexa on the phone?”

“Yes.” 

“Is she okay? Why didn’t she call me?”

“I’m her friend too, Griff.” Octavia teases, but she knows deep down, that if something was ever wrong, Lexa would definitely call Clarke over Octavia. They all know that. Clarke doesn’t seem to appreciate the teasing, and gives the shorter woman a glare that could send a shiver down a grown man’s spine. “She’s fine. Sounded tired, though.” Clarke hums and nods her head, looking down at her phone to make sure that she hadn’t missed a call or text from her best friend. She hadn’t. “She said that she’s sorry that she wouldn’t be able to pick us up at the airport tomorrow. Some last minute fittings for she and Costia, I think.”

“I didn’t expect her to come get us anyway.” Clarke snaps without even thinking, and immediately regrets it, but she doesn’t look up to meet Raven and Octavia’s eyes. She knows that she has no right to be angry at Lexa. Their friends. Lexa doesn’t have to check in with her anytime she does something. She’s a grown ass woman, but for some reason, Clarke is pissed at the fact that she still hasn’t heard anything from her friend. Was Lexa waiting for her to say something? Why did she call Octavia? Clarke didn’t want to push all of her drama onto her friends, so she refrained from asking Octavia any more questions about her call with their friend.

“So,” Raven chimes in, attempting to do her best at dissolving the tension that has seemed to settle in the apartment. “We going to go out tomorrow night and get shit faced?” She grins at Octavia and Clarke, and Octavia rolls her eyes.

“No, Raven. It’s – “ Octavia is interrupted before she can finish.

“Yes. I am definitely down for getting plastered.” Clarke says, as she stands from her sofa and stretches. “I’m sure that you know of a few great places in Chicago, yeah?” She asks Raven, since the woman is a native.

“You know it, Griffin. The best.” Raven replies, ignoring the looks that she got from Octavia.

“Guys,” Octavia groans. “We can’t. That’s the night before Lexa’s wedding. We will all end up being late and looking like shit.”

“It’s a wedding, O.” Clarke says, making her way to her bedroom, but turning to look over her shoulder at the other two women before she walks through the door. “Weddings are supposed to be fun, right?” Both Octavia and Raven pick up on her sarcasm, but they don’t have time to say anything before the blonde shuts her bedroom door, leaving them alone in the living room.

“This is bad.” Octavia says.

“If the girl wants to drink, O, then she can drink. It’s the best way to forget, and clearly that’s what she wants to do.”

“She’s not thinking, Raven. Her head is fucked right now. You’ve seen the two of them together. You know how much they love each other.”

“Yeah, and it really sucks that they won’t be together, but there’s nothing we can do about that. “ Raven shrugs. “They are both grown women. They have to be the ones to discover that for themselves.”

 

//

 

“God, that flight sucked.” Raven says as she steps out of the cab that they had caught at the airport. It had taken them to their hotel, the same one that they stayed in last time, and Raven assumed that Costia and Lexa were here as well. 

“I thou – I thought that it was a lovely flight.” A very inebriated Clarke stutters out, as she follows Raven and Octavia out of the cab. Octavia has to hold her arm to help her, or else she would have definitely eaten pavement.

Raven laughs out loud at her new friend. The girl looked like a mess. Blue jeans, and an old concert t-shirt. Clarke’s hair is up in a messy, messy bun and she’s wearing Raven’s aviators to hide her slightly blood-shot eyes. “Lovely, huh?” Raven says, mocking Clarke’s word choice for their flight. “Come on drunky.” She gets on the other side of Clarke, and she and Octavia lead the blonde into the hotel, leaving the valet and bellboy to deal with their luggage.

Once the trio was inside, they ran into the last two people that they needed to see right now. “Costia. Lexa” Octavia says, throwing on her best fake smile, and glancing over at Raven nervously. This was not good. Clarke did not need to be anywhere near Lexa and Costia while she was plastered. Like, seriously? She couldn’t wait until tonight?

“Hey, guys.” Lexa smiles, not yet noticing the blonde’s state of mind. “Wh – what are you guys doing?” She asks, finally seeing the grip that both Raven and Octavia have on Clarke’s arms.

“Just got in from the airport.” Raven replies, noticing that Lexa’s eyes still haven’t left Clarke. She sees the look that Costia is throwing her fiancé, and Raven certainly doesn’t miss the two hickeys across Costia’s collarbone. Hopefully her dress will cover those up. “We’re going to go nap for a while. See ya, Lex.” Raven says, dragging Clarke along, past Lexa and Costia.

“Wait!” Lexa says, and sees the look that Costia gives her, this time. “Wait, guys.” She turns to her fiancé and grins. “It’s fine. Just have to let them know what time they should be at the venue to get ready tomorrow.” She’s trying to reassure Costia that that’s the only reason she has to talk with them. “Go wait in the car.” Lexa kisses her forehead. “I’ll be out there in a bit.” Costia hesitates, but finally nods and starts out the door.

“You look lovely today, by the way, Costia!” Clarke yells, and to Octavia, it’s one of the most embarrassing things that she’s ever had to go through, and it had absolutely nothing to do with her. Costia turns to look at Clarke, but says nothing, and makes her way completely out of the hotel.

“Who pissed in her cheerios this morning?” Clarke scoffs, as she tries to jerk her arms away from her friends. 

“Guys.” Lexa says as she makes her way back closer to them. “What the hell is wrong with her?” She asks, nodding her head in Clarke’s direction.

“Uh, she might have gotten a tad bit drunk on the flight.” Raven answers, trying to avoid eye contact with the searing green eyes.

“Those mini bottles are so cute!” Clarke exclaims, as the other three women try to shush her. They’re started to attract way too much attention in the lobby. 

“How in the hell did she get drunk off of those? I thought that the airline only gave you like one or two.” Lexa huffs, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at Octavia and Raven like this was their fault. She wants to know why Clarke was drinking in the first place. 

“Well, they do, but –“ Raven starts, but is quickly interrupted by their blonde friend.

“Turns out that the stewardess was a boob girl.” Clarke grins widely, and Lexa looks at her for a second in confusion before looking back at Raven.

Raven sighs, knowing that, for whatever reason, Lexa was going to yell at her for her next words. “Clarke, might have flashed her tits at the stewardess.” Lexa’s eyes widen, and suddenly she’s even more angry. She feels sick.

“What?” Lexa yells, a little too loudly. “Clarke, what the fuck?”

“What, Woods?” Clarke grins again, and Lexa’s heart sinks, because Clarke is so out of it at this point, she doesn’t even recognize her best friend anymore. She wonders if Clarke thinks the same thing about her. “You’ve seen my tits. They’re great tits!”

“Can we please stop saying ‘tits’?” Octavia huffs, and starts to pull Clarke over to the elevator in the corner. “Come on, Clarke. Let’s get you upstairs.”

“Clarke?” Lexa calls, and the blonde turns around with a huge smile on her face. Lexa feels about two feet tall at that moment. Was Clarke mad at her? This isn’t the way that her best friend ever acted. “I’ll just be two seconds.” Lexa says to Octavia and Raven, and they walk off, and Lexa walks up to steady Clarke by grabbing onto her biceps. “Clarke, what’s wrong?” She asks softly, looking into the sunglasses that cover her blue eyes.

“Nothing.” Clarke grins, and Lexa knows that it’s forced. “Everything is great. You’re getting married. I’m going to get drunk and hopefully find someone to bring back here with me, if you know what I mean.” The blonde wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at Lexa. “I hear that weddings are the best place for that.”

“Clarke.” Lexa warns, and then finally, Clarke’s normal, soft voice comes through, and the sadness is evident.

“Please, stop saying my name like that.” You don’t know what that does to me, she thinks to herself, even in her drunken state.

Lexa sighs, and removes her hands from Clarke’s arms, immediately missing the contact between them. “Can we talk?” Lexa asks. “Tonight, I mean? Can we just hang out for a while?”

“Sure, Woods.” Clarke grins. “But you’ll have to meet us out. Raven is taking us to a club. It’s going to be so much fun.”

Lexa rolls her eyes. She hates clubs. She hates everything about them. The closeness of everything is so suffocating, but if that’s where Clarke would be, then that’s where she would be. She needed to find out what was wrong with her friend. “Okay. Tell Raven to text me the time and address and I will try to meet you guys there after Cos and my fittings.”

“Cos.” Clarke hums, bringing a hand to her own chest, and pretending to grasp at her heart. “Aww. That is too sweet. You guys are going to be so fucking great together, Woods. Seriously.” Lexa wants to cry. She really does. She knows that Clarke is bullshitting her. She can’t stand Costia. This person in front of her is not Clarke Griffin. This isn’t her Clarke Griffin. This isn’t her best friend. Lexa silently waves Raven and Octavia over, signaling that she’s leaving now, and the other two women are right back with Clarke. 

“I’ll see you guys later.” Lexa says, before turning and leaving. This day just got a whole lot shittier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below, and feel free to leave kudos. ;)
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Come follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Thanks for being patient with me. I'm alternating writing for this fic, and another of mine called, 'This Love is Criminal'. Go check it out if you haven't already. I hope that you like this update. In my opinion, it is a very angsty chapter. Some people have different views on angst, but I feel like this one is pretty emotional. Again, I'm trying to stay, at least, a little bit true to the movie, but, of course, I'm having to twist stuff in order to make it make sense for the outcome that I want, so please bear with me.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

Clarke had to continue repeating this mantra, in her head, the entire evening. This was going to be a long night. She’s starting to think that going to a club, on the night before her best friend’s wedding, was a tremendously senseless idea. The alcohol that drowned her body earlier in the day, was long gone from her system and she really, really needed another drink, but Raven and Octavia were watching her like a hawk.   
They haven’t let her have anything else, and she’s starting to think that they won’t actually allow her to drink when they go out later. She was definitely going to need something, though, and she was sure that her friends would eventually understand and break.

Her she is, almost twenty-eight years old, sitting on the edge of a hotel bed, her drunken stupor wearing off, and she’s on the verge of tears because of a damn crush. She thought that she left all of this drama back in high school, and a little bit in college, although she would never admit it. Clarke’s hands are clammy and she’s wringing them together, trying to focus on anything but the one thing that she should definitely not be thinking about.

“Clarke.” Octavia’s voice pulls her out of her reverie, and the blonde’s head shoots up to look at her friend, who had just exited the bathroom. Clarke isn’t stupid, by any means. She can see when someone is looking at her with pity and remorse. She feels like such a child. This kind of thing isn’t supposed to happen to her. Up until two weeks ago, she had her life together, and not much of a care in the world, except for when the next time that she would be able to see her best friend would be. “Stop tugging at your dress, babe.” Octavia throws her a small grin. “You’re going to stretch the hem.”

Clarke hadn’t noticed that she was, in fact, stretching the hem of her dress that was clinging to her mid-thigh. The material feels restricting, and she would really rather just wear nothing at all, but she knows that that won’t happen. She removes her hands from her dress, as Octavia had commanded ever so softly, and places them on her knees. Her legs are fidgety and she bounces them off of the floor like a child who was too impatient to wait on anything. 

“Are you okay?” Octavia asks, startling Clarke again, coming up to her side, when, once again, the blonde was lost in her own thoughts. Clarke looks up to meet her friend’s eyes and shakes her head, but she refuses to cry. She will not cry anymore over Lexa Woods. 

“What am I supposed to do, O?” She asks, but she knows that there is no way for anyone other than herself or Lexa to answer that question. No way in hell. “I can’t – she wants to talk tonight. What could she possibly want to talk about? And I know that it’s something important, because Lexa does not go to clubs, much less on a night before a big day.”

“I can’t answer that.” Her friend answers honestly, as she wraps her small arm around Clarke’s shoulders. Clarke leans her head over, laying it on top of the shorter woman’s shoulder. Her hands, moving on their own accord, back to the hem of her dress before Octavia swats at her hands. Clarke lets out a small chuckle at her friend’s antics. “Clarke,” Octavia breaks the silence again. “Tonight and tomorrow,” She exhales audibly, and Clarke is too afraid to look up, so she keeps her head right where it’s at. “Might not go the way that you want it to. There’s a good chance that Lexa, this time tomorrow, will be married, and it won’t be to you. You know that, right?”

Clarke huffs, and eventually does lift her head up to look at Octavia. “Of course, I know that, O. I’m not stupid. My chances are slim to none, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“You can tell her.”

“No.” Clarke replies instantly, not bothering that her voice raised a couple of octaves. “This isn’t on me, now. I can’t jeopardize what’s left of our friendship.” Clarke throws her hands up in the air and groans. “Hell, I’ve probably already fucked it up, with a little help from Lexa. I mean – what has happened to us? Two weeks ago, we were – everything was fine. Great, even. I feel like I’m in some bad dream. A nightmare, and I can’t wake up.”

“I know.” Octavia says quietly, her hand, now, rubbing small, calming circles into Clarke’s back. She is in such a tough predicament. She’s friends with both Clarke and Lexa, and she hates to see them like this.   
Hates to see their friendship in such shambles, but she can’t interfere. She won’t. They are both adults, and if they’re meant to be, then they will be. “You will work it out. Somehow, at some point, you and Lexa will work it out. You always do, don’t you?”

“It’s never been like this, O.”

“Well,” Octavia sighs, removing her hand and leaning back on the bed “I believe in the both of you.” Is all that she says before the hotel room door opens and Raven steps through, and holds up a bottle of tequila. Octavia rolls her eyes and Clarke claps once before jumping up and meeting Raven halfway. They weren’t going to keep her from this. Not tonight, when she needs it the most.

“You’re a Saint, Raven Reyes.”

“This, I’ve been told.” The Latina woman grins from ear to ear, before pulling three paper shot glasses out of her purse. Clarke and Octavia, both, give her quizzical looks, but she shrugs it off. She always comes   
prepared, and she doesn’t need a lecture about it. She pours them all a shot, but Octavia refuses hers and Clarke gladly takes it for her. Raven holds hers up in the air, being a little bit dramatic about the whole   
thing, but Clarke finds it funny. It helps to take her mind off of other things, when Raven is being silly like this. “To friends!” Raven cheers, before tossing her cup back, and Clarke does the same, only with two.   
The liquid burns her throat, in the best way, as it makes its way down.

“Come on.” Clarke says, grabbing her purse and Raven and Octavia’s hands, pulling them towards the door. “Let’s get this night started. I need more alcohol, and someone to dance with.” Raven and Octavia exchange worried looks, but Clarke already has them halfway down the hallway.

“Shouldn’t I text Woods the address and time?” Raven asks, knowing good and well that Lexa had wanted to meet them there, so that she could speak with Clarke.

Clarke shakes her head ‘no’, as the three women enter the elevator and Clarke hits the ground floor button. “Wait until we get there.” She says firmly. “I need some time to get a little more alcohol in my system before I see her.”

“Are you sure, Clarke? Woods said that she wanted to talk to –“

“I’m sure.” Clarke interjects, and nothing else is said about that, at least, not until they’re at the club.

 

//

 

When Lexa enters building of the dance club that Raven had texted her the address to, the first thing that she notices, is that it’s really, really crowded. This is definitely a hot spot on the weekends, and she already feels a case of claustrophobia washing over her, and it doesn’t help that she’s only minutes away from seeing Clarke again.

Seeing Clarke, this morning, had really been a damper. Not that seeing Clarke was a damper, but the fact that her friend was, clearly, upset about something, and Lexa had to find out what it was. If this was about her, then she had to fix it. She knows that her thoughts and feelings about Clarke are dangerous, and she would never cheat on Costia, but she won’t risk her friendship. She has to work things out with Clarke.   
Tonight, preferably. She’ll already have way too many other things on her mind tomorrow.

When she makes it through the lobby, and into the main area, she realizes how dark it is, and that seems to make things even worse. She tries to think of something else, rather than the place that she’s in. She can’t have a panic attack. Not now. Not when there’s too much to be said. Raven had texted her and told her that she paid for them a VIP booth, towards the back of the building, and told Lexa to find them. She makes her way further and further into the room, before she finally spots Octavia sitting in the booth. A small amount of relief washes over her at the sight of someone familiar and it grounds her, thankfully.

“Woods.” Octavia grins when she spots Lexa walking into the booth and plopping down on the bench beside the shorter woman. “It’s about damn time you got here.”

“Yeah.” Lexa shrugs. “Sorry. Traffic was a bitch.”

Silence washes over them, and Octavia starts to feel extremely awkward with the whole situation. She watches Lexa, as her green eyes scan over the dance floor, clearly looking for someone in particular. Octavia knows that she’s looking for Clarke. “So,” Octavia says loudly, so that Lexa could hear her over the pumping music in the room. “Tomorrow’s the big day, huh? Are you excited?”

Lexa smiles a sad sort of smile at her friend, once she finally pulls her eyes from the dance floor. “I can’t believe that it’s actually happening.” A small chuckle comes from her lips, and Octavia watches her intently. “It’s just – it’s weird, right?”

Octavia laughs and pats Lexa on the back. “It’s definitely weird seeing you get married, Woods.” And she tries to choose her next words wisely, not wanting to piss off Lexa, and cause her to go storming out of the club without talking to Clarke first. “Especially to someone like Costia Daniels.” Lexa’s eyes scan over Octavia’s face, searching for something, something that she’s not sure what it is. She isn’t mad at Octavia’s words. She understands completely, because Octavia and Clarke have only just met her, and Lexa will definitely admit that Costia has been a major bitch the past few weeks. She really hadn’t been like that before.   
Of course, her fiancé, every once in a while, would have some sort of outburst, but who doesn’t?

“I know.” Lexa settles on. “I know that Costia has been a little ornery since you’ve met her.” Octavia gives Lexa an amused look with her eyebrow raised, and Lexa chuckles. “Okay. A lot ornery, but she’s not like that all of the time, O. She’s actually fun to be around, most of the time.” Octavia nods, urging Lexa to continue, and almost feels as if Lexa is trying to convince herself of all of this. “I love her.” Lexa says, her eyes scanning back over the room, and then back to Octavia. “I do, it’s just – I always thought that this would be a stronger feeling, you know? Does that make sense, or am I just crazy?”

“You’re not crazy.” Octavia smiles, and places a reassuring hand on Lexa’s knee. “It’s just – have you ever thought that maybe,” Octavia takes a deep breath. It’s now or never. She could do this. For her friends. For Clarke. “You love her, but you’re just not in love with her?”

Lexa’s eyes go wide, but only for a moment before they are back to normal and she looks down at her hands that are twisting in her lap. She nods her head. “I have thought about that.” She admits, and Octavia looks at her in confusion. She was not expecting this kind of admission, especially one so calm and collected. “It’s just… I don’t have anything, much to compare it to, O, and I don’t want to end up alone. I can see myself being with Costia, and we can work on our relationship as it grows.” She moves to wipe her sweaty palms on the thighs of her jeans and then looks back to her friend. “I’ve only ever been in love once, in my life, and we both know how that turned out.”

Sadness rushes over Octavia’s face, and she knows that she’s not able to hide it as well as she would have like to have had. Lexa moves to place her hand on top of Octavia’s and smiles at her. “O, it’s okay.” She says. “I’m fine. I’m happy. I just - I need to fix my relationship with Clarke. She’s my best friend.” Her eyes roam back over the dance floor, still not finding Clarke among the throngs of people. “I can’t lose her.”

“You won’t.” Octavia replies. “Clarke loves you.”

“What’s up, bitches!” Raven exclaims as she comes barreling towards Lexa and Octavia in the VIP booth. Lexa and Octavia split apart and laugh, because, clearly, Raven wanted to sit between the pair. “Why are you both sitting over here like two grandmas?” She teases, obviously drunk. 

“Because some of us have to be the responsible ones, and keep you two drunkies from causing too much trouble.” Octavia replies, not teasing at all.

Raven completely ignores Octavia’s comment all together, and looks at Lexa with a wide grin on her face. “Woods, I need to see you dance. ASAP.”

“That’s most definitely not going to happen, Reyes.” Lexa replies, laughing at the pout that takes over her new friend’s face. “Have you seen Clarke lately?”

“Yeah.” Raven shouts, much too loud, even though the music is still blaring through the speakers. Lexa is already getting a headache. “She’s right –“ Raven looks across the dance floor and then points to a section right below the DJ booth. “There.” Lexa looks, and finally spots a familiar head of blonde hair, and then she sees another blonde. Way, way too close to Clarke for her liking. “She’s been dancing with that hot chick for a while now.” Raven says, taking a sip of her drink and kicking her feet up on the table in front of them. “I see lots of hot sex in their very near future.” She grins, before Octavia slaps her in the back of the head. “Ow! Shit, O. I’m just saying, they’ve been practically dry humping each other all night, and Clarke is drunk as shit.”

“Why did you let her get this drunk?” Lexa asks, trying not to sound as angry as she really is. She knows that it’s not necessarily Raven and Octavia’s fault, but she doesn’t like the fact that something is bothering the blonde.

“She’s a grown ass woman, Woods.” Raven says, taking another gulp of her brightly colored drink. 

“Yeah, and clearly, she’s upset about something, if this morning says anything about that.” Lexa snaps back.

Raven scoffs and stands up. “Yeah. Something, alright.” She groans before making her way back out onto the dance floor. Lexa is right behind her, however, she’s not following Raven, she’s making her way towards Clarke, trying to hold back the bile from seeing Clarke dancing like that with some stranger, and if Clarke’s dress is anything to go by, she is clearly looking for some action tonight.

Before she can make it all the way to the blonde, she sees Clarke taking the other blonde’s hand and guiding her off of the dance floor, in the opposite direction. Lexa lets out a huff, and follows, thinking that they were probably just going to the bar for another drink or something. What she finds, when she catches up to them, though, is not at all what she wanted to see.

The woman that was dancing with Clarke, now has her pushed up against a wall in the back hallway, hand up her best friend’s dress, and tongue down her throat. Clarke’s hands are on the other woman’s ass, gripping and pulling her closer into her. The woman’s mouth, finally, leaves Clarke’s and starts to descend down her neck, her collarbone, and then onto the tops of Clarke’s breasts. Clarke’s eyes are closed in pleasure, and therefore, hasn’t seen Lexa, yet. 

Lexa, at first, feels sick, and then the sickness turns into sadness. Her stomach turns, and she feels her heart break a little more with each kiss that they share, and each moan that she hears Clarke let out. Lexa knows that she has no reason, whatsoever, to be jealous. Clarke is not hers, and she is getting married tomorrow to a woman that she loves, but she can’t help but wonder, if Clarke is thinking about Lexa kissing her like this. Lexa feels sick to admit, that the previous night when she was in bed with Costia, all that she could see was blue eyes and blonde hair, and she feels like the most awful fucking person in the world.

Soon, that sadness and jealousy turns into anger. Into rage. And Lexa knows that she shouldn’t… she really, really shouldn’t, but she makes her way further down the hallway, until she’s pretty much, right beside the two blonde women. “Hey!” Lexa yells, loud enough to be heard over the music, and both women look up to see her. Of course, Clarke recognizes her right away, and her eyes go wide. The other woman just looks pissed that this girl just interrupted her steamy make-out session.

“Who the fuck are you?” The woman snaps, not removing her hand from under Clarke’s dress, and Lexa’s blood boils at the sight.

“I’m her best friend.” Lexa replies, not realizing how completely stupid and irrational she sounds. “And who the hell are you?”

“Niylah Castle.” The woman answers, and then a sly smile moves across her face. “Did you want to join in?” She asks somewhat teasingly, but somehow, Lexa thinks that she’s serious. “I don’t mind sharing.”

Lexa literally growls and walks further, pushing Niylah off of Clarke. “Lexa!” Clarke yells, clearly dumbfounded and furious over the entire situation. She pulls her dress down further, so it’s not bunched up around the tops of her thighs, but Lexa is ignoring her. Her green eyes are set on Niylah and the way that she is laughing devilishly at her. “What do you think you’re doing?” Clarke asks, nudging Lexa on the arm, harder than she should have, but Lexa doesn’t flinch.

Niylah lets out an evil, yet sarcastic laugh as she approaches Lexa. “Clarke,” The woman says, her eyes not leaving Lexa’s. “I think that your ‘best friend’ here, is a little jealous, don’t you?” Niylah moves to where she can grasp on to Clarke’s ass again, and Clarke jumps at the contact, clearly put off by it now.

Lexa is quick to slap the woman’s hand away, and then she grabs at Clarke’s wrist, and tries to pull her away. “Come on, Clarke. We should leave.”

“Why aren’t you at home with your wife, Lexa?” Clarke spits, clearly full of alcohol and anger. “Why did you have to come and ruin my fun, huh? This has nothing to do with you, so back off.”

“Clarke, come.” Lexa urges. “Now.”

“Oh.” Niylah grins again, making Lexa’s stomach churn once more. “She will. That is… if you’ll ever leave.” Clarke shoots Niylah a glare and Lexa’s growl is back. Clarke tries to ignore the heat of arousal she gets from the sound. Lexa pushes Niylah again, and Niylah, then takes a swing at the brunette. She lands it, knocking Lexa backwards a few steps. Her lip is busted, and bleeding. This should look lovely in her wedding photos. 

“Niylah!” Clarke yells, and goes to push the woman for hitting Lexa, but Niylah knocks her out of the way and back into the wall. That was her next mistake, because hitting Lexa is one thing, but pushing Clarke… that’s a whole other level. Lexa charges for her, ignoring Clarke’s screams for them to both stop. Lexa lands her first swing, giving Niylah a busted lip to match her own. Her next, knocks Niylah down completely, but before she can do anything else, Clarke is grabbing her arm and dragging her down the hallway and out the exit door.

“What the hell was that, Lexa?” Clarke yells, dropping Lexa’s arm and shoving her up against the brick wall in the alley way. Clarke is furious, if not a little bit confused. Okay. A lot confused, and Lexa, even though she was full of rage a moment ago, now looks terrified. Lexa feels like she can’t speak. She can’t even look at Clarke, because she knows that she had no right to do what she just did. She had no right to step in and interrupt whatever Clarke had going on with Niylah. “Lexa!” Clarke exclaims, pulling Lexa out of whatever trance she’s been stuck in for the past several seconds. “I asked you a question.” The blonde says, the hand that she has grappling onto Lexa’s jacket, is shaking in anger, and maybe something else too.

“I – I just,” Lexa stutters, shaking her head, and trying to come up with some sort of reasonable reply to Clarke’s question, but she comes up short-handed. There is no reasonable response. Fact of the matter; Lexa got jealous. “She was - that girl was – shit!” Lexa huffs, looking down at her feet, before Clarke pushes her again, causing her to look back up. “I don’t know, Clarke!” She’s angry now, too, but not a Clarke. She’s angry with herself. She’s an awful human being, and she doesn’t deserve Clarke or Costia.

“There has to be some reason that you decided to interrupt and harass us.” Clarke replies through gritted teeth. Her eyes are narrowed and she looks a little overwhelmed by whatever all of that was. “What was it, Lexa? What were –“ Something hits Clarke in that moment. Something that she never would have imagined would happened… just happened. Lexa was jealous. Clarke’s heart starts to pound in her chest, and she can feel the vibrations from it in her ears. Of course, Lexa had told her that she was jealous when she found out about Clarke and Wells’ ‘engagement’, but this… this is different. Something about this feels more real. “Were you jealous?” She asks, and this time, her voice is softer than it was before. She isn’t yelling like she had been. She isn’t yelling like she wanted to be doing. Her blue eyes start to roam over her best friend’s face, searching for something, anything. Clarke steps back a few steps, and lets go of her hold on Lexa’s jacket. She waits for what feels like forever.

“No, Clarke.” Lexa answers, shaking her head again, and then looking down at her feet. “I was not jealous. I was just – I don’t know. I didn’t like the way she was touching you.”

Clarke is back to seething now, and she’s, now, more confused than ever. “You didn’t like the way she was touching me?” The question comes out with a sarcastic, yet annoyed, chuckle. “That’s great, Lexa.” Clarke says with another laugh, throwing her hands in the air, and turning to where she can’t see Lexa. She can’t bear to look into those green eyes right now. Even though she’s mad and upset, Clarke still gets lost in them, and she can’t focus. She doesn’t need that right now. “That’s really fucking great.”

At this point, Lexa is finally able to pull herself from the wall, but she doesn’t dare get nearer to Clarke. She knows when she’s not wanted. She’s not stupid. At least, in this moment she isn’t. “Clarke –“ She says, and it’s only above a whisper, and she’s not even sure if Clarke had heard her. “I’m sorry – I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s just –“ She takes a deep breath, and tries to get her breathing under control, although she knows that that’s not really possible at this point. “I – I knew that something was bothering you, Clarke, and I – I didn’t want you to make a mistake.” That was the truth. Too bad that it wasn’t all of it.

“I am a grown woman, Lexa!” Clarke spits, turning and finally facing her friend again. “You don’t get to decide whether I make a mistake or not! It’s none of your concern!”

“It is my concern, Clarke!” Lexa bites back, but then her face turns solemn again, and as bad as she wants to look away from Clarke’s face right now, she can’t. “You’re my best friend, and – I just - I feel like something has changed between us. I feel – I just need –“

“Lexa.” Clarke says, suddenly scared of her own voice. “I am still your friend, but you can’t – you don’t get to do –“ Clarke waves her hand in the air, gesturing at nothing in particular. “Whatever it is that you just did in there. If I’m with someone and – if they’re touching me or kissing me – that’s not any of your business. Not anymore.” 

Lexa knows what Clarke wants to say next. ‘You’re getting married tomorrow. Shit like this can’t happen anymore.’ Lexa feels defeated for some reason. She is defeated, and Clarke is looking at her like she’s defeated, which doesn’t help matter at all. “I’m sorry, Clarke.” She says softly, and feels some tears start to swell in her eyes, but she refuses to let them fall. This isn’t about her. She can’t make this about her any more than she already has. “I’m so, so sorry. I just – I want what’s best for you, and I’m sorry.” She walks closer to Clarke, and to her surprise, the blonde doesn’t move away. “Please – please just forgive me. I’m sorry – that was – it was so fucking stupid, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Clarke knows that Lexa begging and pleading like this, is a big deal for her. She doesn’t do it. Hardly ever, and the fact that she’s begging for Clarke’s forgiveness, now, makes Clarke know that Lexa really is sorry for what happened. She knows that she’s probably being way too forgiving, but she can’t help it. Not when it’s Lexa. Not when Lexa is standing in front of her, looking at her like this. With wide, almost terrified eyes that seem to glisten with tears that shine in the moonlight. “Lexa.” She says, taking a step forward, and looking up to her best friend. “It’s okay. I – I forgive you, okay?” When Lexa looks at Clarke like she might actually explode from relief, Clarke almost wants to smile, but she refrains. She moves closer, and Lexa does the only thing that she knows to do. She wraps her arms around Clarke and pulls her in for a hug.

“God, Clarke. I’m so sorry.” She says into the blonde’s hair. “I’m such an idiot.” She feels Clarke let out a chuckle into her chest, and another small amount of relief washes through her.

“You know,” Clarke starts in without pulling back, because she doesn’t want to see her friend’s face right now. She’s starting to feel a little embarrassed about the whole situation with Niylah. “I’m sort of glad you came, now. I wished that you would have done it in another way, but she was starting to get a little too rough for me.”

Lexa pulls back then, and looks down at blue eyes. “She didn’t hurt you, did she?”

“No.” Clarke shakes her head to match her reply. “I could have handled myself if she did, though.”

“I know.” Lexa sighs. “It just – It pisses me off.”

Clarke releases her hold on her friend, and runs her fingers through her blonde hair with a sigh. “I know, but what you did pissed me off too, so let’s just try to move on from that, okay?”

“Okay. Lexa exhales. “Are – are you ready to go back to the hotel? I can walk you.”

Clarke hums and nods her head. “Yeah. I need to walk off some of this alcohol anyway. Will you text Raven and Octavia?”

“Yes.” Lexa answers, now hoping that when they arrive back at the hotel, Clarke will be, more or less, sober, and they can actually talk about what’s going on with them. She can’t go into the next day thinking that   
Clarke hates her, or just doesn’t want to hang out with her anymore. That would be devastating and tragic, and she doesn’t know if she would be able to live through something like that. When she gets back to the hotel, she’s going to talk to Clarke.

It’s now or never.

 

//

 

Lexa and Clarke finally make their way into the hotel, where they’re both staying, and they are both still, for the most part, quiet about the night’s events. Lexa feels like such an asshole over the whole ordeal, and what’s even worse, is Clarke seems to be distant still. Lexa only has herself to blame. She’s pushed Clarke away, not really meaning to, but also, not really knowing what else to do. It hurts to be this near to her blonde, best friend. It hurts to not be able to kiss every smile or every frown from her face, like she used to, all of those years ago, and in this moment, Lexa realizes that she has to come clean to Costia about her feelings for Clarke. She’s known that it wasn’t fair to her fiancé, this entire time, but now… now it’s getting ridiculous. Maybe she’ll feel better when she’s able to tell Costia that she was, in fact, right about her feelings for the blonde. Maybe, after Lexa apologizes, Costia will forgive her and then things can be okay again. She wouldn’t feel like this huge asshole, pining after a woman that she can’t have. Costia will be furious, there’s no doubt, and she absolutely has a right to be, but Lexa has to tell her.

Lexa notices how quickly Clarke has started to move through the lobby of the hotel, towards the elevator. She wonders what’s going on with her friend, as she follows her into the elevator. “What’s going on, Clarke?”

“Hmm?” The blonde hums, looking up to her friend perplexed face. “Oh – umm – I’m – uh, on a deadline.” Clarke says, and her drunk self, instead of mentally slapping herself, literally slaps herself, causing Lexa to laugh out loud, and Clarke can’t hide the fact that she loves that sound more than anything in the world. 

“A deadline?” Lexa teases. “So am I, Clarke.” She says. “I’m getting married tomorrow. What’s your hurry?” Shit. Why did Lexa have to remind her that she is, in fact, getting married tomorrow. 

Clarke shakes her head, trying to forget about the damn wedding. “Oh – I just really, really have to pee.”

Lexa grins again. The kind of grin that does something to Clarke, and she has to try and put some distance between them, because we all know what happens in confined spaces when Clarke is drunk. “My room is closer. You can use the bathroom there, before catching the elevator to the top floor, back to your room.”

Clarke knows that she should, most definitely, not go to Lexa’s hotel room, but the alcohol swimming around in her head, tells her otherwise. “Okay. Thank you.” She replies with a sweet smile.

Once they’re on Lexa’s floor, the two exit the elevator and Clarke practically starts sprinting down the hallway. Lexa laughs again. “Clarke, where are you going?”

“I have to pee!” Clarke yells, and Lexa flinches because it’s like one in the morning, and her drunk, best friend is running through the hotel screaming that she has to pee. Lovely.

“My room is this way, Clarke!” Lexa yells as quietly as she can, and laughs again when Clarke immediately turns around and starts running the other way. Lexa is right on her heels, because she has the room key.   
She fumbles with it a second, and Clarke is bouncing up and down, gripping tightly to her friend’s shirt. The door, finally, swings open and Clarke jumps through the threshold, slinging her purse down into the floor, and making a b-line to bathroom.

Lexa props herself against one of the walls, her finger hovering over her fiancé’s name on her phone. She has to talk to Costia, and she’s terrified of what will happen. Clarke, flinging the bathroom door open, and letting out a loud, relieved sigh, breaks Lexa from her thoughts. “Feel better?” Lexa asks, and Clarke nods her head. “Do you, uh – would you mind waiting in the hallway for me? I need to make a call Costia really quick, before she goes to bed, and tell her goodnight, and then I can walk you up to your room.” Lexa would never call Costia this late to tell her ‘goodnight’, but she had to come up with something. She plans on asking Costia to meet her early tomorrow, so that they can talk in person.

“Lexa,” Clarke huffs, clearly irritated. She can walk herself. She isn’t a baby. She lingers a little longer, not far from behind Lexa, waiting to see if Lexa is serious about walking with her. Clarke lets out another puff of air, and crosses her arms when Lexa pulls the phone up to her ear. She doesn’t really see Lexa calling Costia this late to tell her ‘goodnight’, and it’s very unsettling to the blonde. This is all far too real, and she doesn’t know if she can even go through with being in this wedding.

“Clarke – please.” Lexa groans, turning around and nodding towards the door. “I’ll be out in a second, okay?”

“Yeah.” Clarke says, irritatingly. “Yeah, okay.” She turns, grabs her purse, and makes her way out of the room. She has the right mind to go on without Lexa, but she knows, in the back of her mind, that she doesn’t really want to do that. Clarke leans up against the door of Lexa’s room, outside in the hallway, and lets out a very audible sigh. Her head is hurting, but she finally feels the alcohol, in her system, start to slowly slip away. She slides her back down the door, until she’s sitting on the ugly, cheap looking carpet of the floor, with her back leaning against the door. She brings her knees up and lies her head down on them.

After a moment or so, she hears someone walking down the hallway, so she looks up to see and elderly man making his way into the room across from Lexa’s. “Hey.” She says to the man with a polite smile, and he smiles back at her, nodding his head and sticking his keycard into his door. “You wouldn’t happen to have a cigarette, would you?” Clarke doesn’t smoke. Not officially anyway. She just does it every once in a while, when she’s been drinking. If it weren’t for Lexa, she probably would have taken it up as a habit a long time ago, but Lexa absolutely hates smoking.

To her surprise, the man smiles at her, once more, and digs a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. “Here you go.” He offers her one, and places the box back in his jacket before pulling out a lighter and lighting it for her.

“Thank you.”

“Are you okay?” He asks. “Do you need me to call someone for you?”

“No, no.” Clarke answers. “I’m fine. Just waiting on a friend.”

He smiles again before she thanks him once more, and he heads into his room. She closes her eyes as she takes the first puff, and runs a hand through her long, tangled hair. When did her life become this rom-com of a movie? Actually, scratch that, it’s just the comedy, or maybe even like a drama. Yeah, yeah. It’s a dram-com, and she’s not loving it.

She can’t believe that she actually came to Chicago with the intent of breaking up her best friend’s wedding. Who does that? Who does such bad things, to someone as honest and loveable as Lexa Woods? Clearly, Clarke Griffin does.

“I’m a horrible person.” She says out loud, to the empty hallway around her, as she takes another puff of her cigarette. She didn’t know how bad that she really needed one until now. She closes her eyes again, resting her head on the door behind her, and just attempting to clear her mind. She just hopes and prays that these feelings, these unrequited feelings, that she has for her best friend will just go away. She just wants it to pass. It hurts too much.

When she opens her eyes, and twists her arms a little, on her knees, her elbow brushes up against something in her jacket pocket. Her eyes go wider. She had almost forgotten. How could she have forgotten?   
Clarke puts her cigarette into her mouth, holding it there with her lips, while she digs deep into her jacket pocket and pulls out a small square box. The box. The one that Lexa had given her to hold onto for the wedding. She’s been carrying it around with her a lot; afraid of leaving it somewhere unattended. 

In a very, very weak moment, she pops the tiny, velvet box open, and looks at the ring for about the thousandth time. It’s very simple, but one of the most beautiful rings that Clarke has ever seen. She can’t see Costia wearing a ring like this. She thinks that the girl would much rather have something big and gaudy than something so simple. Clarke takes the ring out of its slot and holds it up in the air, examining it, while knocking the ashes of her cigarette into a water bottle out of her purse. In, yet, another moment of feebleness, she brings the ring, slowly, to her other hand, and slides it onto her ring finger. It’s a little tight, but it fits better than she thought it would. 

Clarke holds her hand up, twisting it, and marveling at the look of it on her finger. She really needs to get her shit together. This isn’t her ring. It’s Costia’s. Lexa’s fiancé’s. She immediately goes to remove it, but… shit – it won’t come off. “Oh no, no, no…” Clarke groans. “This cannot be happening.” She pulls and twists. Twists and pulls, but nothing. It won’t come off. “This is just really, really not my night!” She says louder than she should have. She wants to cry. She feels the all too familiar tears start to swell up, but she denies letting them fall. She will just have to work on the ring later, and hopefully Lexa won’t notice it on the walk to her hotel room.

She takes one more large puff of the short cigarette, and leans her head back on the door, and the next thing that she knows, the door is swinging open and she falls backwards onto her back, barely holding onto the lit cigarette in her hand. Of course, it’s Lexa coming out of the room, and for some reason, she looks scared and upset all at the same time. Clarke wants to ask what’s wrong, but from the look on Lexa’s face, she doesn’t want to talk about it.

Lexa looks down and sees Clarke lying flat on her back with a cigarette in her hand. She crouches down, not saying anything, refusing to look into Clarke’s eyes, and takes the light from her hand. To Clarke’s surprise, Lexa turns and puts the cigarette out on the floor behind them. Clearly, Lexa has zero fucks to give at this point, and Clarke, again, refuses to ask what’s going on. “I want you –“ Lexa utters, and there’s a bit of a bite to it, as she finishes putting out the light. “To quit this shit.” She turns her head to finally meet Clarke’s eyes, but just barely, before looking away again. “It’ll kill you.”

“What happened?” Clarke whispers, not really meaning for the words to come out at all. “I mean –“

“Nothing happened.” Lexa replies, trying to put on a brave face, and it’s pretty much the truth. She’s just terrified of her conversation with Costia in the morning. She is most definitely not going to sleep tonight. “I’m just tired, and nervous for tomorrow.” And I’m crazy, Lexa thinks to herself. Crazy for asking for someone, that I didn’t truly love, to marry me.

To be fair though, she thought she was in love, but when she got around Clarke again, and her feelings for the blonde flared up, she realized that what she and Costia had wasn’t love. Not true love, and Lexa is an idiot and an asshole for keeping this going for so long. She wants to cry, but she doesn’t. Not here. Not with Clarke, because she wouldn’t be able to hide this from Clarke.

“I’m so glad that you’re here, Clarke.” Lexa mutters, still kneeling down by her friend’s side. Clearly, Clarke has no thoughts of getting up, off of her back. And Lexa is glad that Clarke is here, even though it’s hard at the same time. She’s just glad to have someone here that she trusts without a doubt. Someone that she knows will be here for her no matter what happens.

Those words sting in Clarke’s chest. Can she do this? Can she tell Lexa, now, after that, that she really just wants to go home? That she doesn’t think that she can be here for this wedding? This fucking sucks. The whole situation. Dram-Com at its best. Before Clarke can say anything, she sees green eyes flicker to her hand. More specifically, the hand that has Costia’s wedding ring on it.

Great!

“Is – is that – is that the ring?” Lexa stutters out. She doesn’t raise her voice. She’s not mad. Just surprised. Why is Clarke wearing the ring?

Clarke slings the hand over her face. “Oh, god.” She groans. “I just – it –“ She lets out a stupid, nervous chuckle, and furrow her brows to where her forehead becomes all wrinkly. She lifts the hand up, showing it to Lexa clearly. “I – I try –“ She wants to cry. She seriously, just wants to cry herself to sleep right now. She feels like the biggest fool. “I – I tried it on and it – it won’t come off.” 

Lexa wants to smile at her best friend, because she looks adorable with her drunken pout, but for some reason, Clarke really seems to be upset about this. About something. Lexa doesn’t miss how glassy her blue eyes become.

And Lexa, being the romantic, dumbass that she is looks down at her best friend. Both serious as a heart attack in the moment, and Lexa reaches for the hand of her best friend, that’s wearing her fiancé’s wedding ring. Lexa pulls Clarke’s fingers apart a little and brings Clarke’s ring finger up to her mouth. She slides the finger in all the way and starts to suck the ring off of Clarke’s finger.

Clarke, still lying flat on her back, in the middle of the hotel hallway, is about to have a coronary. Her heart is beating out of her chest and she feels her longs constricting, and she can’t breathe. Not really. Lexa’s beautiful, green eyes never leaves hers as she sucks the ring off of her finger, bringing it all the way out of her mouth.

When Lexa finally lets go of Clarke’s hand, the blonde brings her hand to her chest, and holds it tightly there, using her other hand to rub at the ring finger that was just in her best friend’s mouth. Oh my god. That just happened. She still hasn’t gotten her heart under control, and right above her, Lexa is feeling the same thing. She should not have done that. Shit. She just keeps digging herself into a deeper hole.

Lexa moves her eyes up and away, looking anywhere but at her best friend. She stands, offering her hands to Clarke, who gladly takes them, and is pulled up by strong arms. Lexa hands the ring back to Clarke, who is finally on her feet, and the blonde quickly puts it back into its box. Her cheeks are red from embarrassment and something else.

“Ready to go?” Lexa asks with a small smile, and Clarke can only nod. They walk back down to the elevator and make their way up to Clarke’s floor. The ride is quiet, and a little bit awkward. Clarke can tell that something is wrong with Lexa, and vice versa. Once they’re on Clarke’s floor, and make their way down the hallway, to stand in front of Clarke’s door, Lexa looks up, finally and smiles again.

“Do you – uh, do you maybe want to order some room service?” Clarke asks, and she’s not sure why she’s doing this. “Or something? I mean we could stay up and watch movies or whatever.”  
Lexa smiles again, but she shakes her head ‘no’. “I really – I just think that I need to be alone right now. Tonight.” Lexa utters nervously, looking down at her feet, and really, really wanting to take Clarke up on her offer, but she knows that she can’t. She knows that she shouldn’t. “Th – thank you, though.”

“Yeah.” Clarke runs a nervous hand through her hair. “Yeah. No problem.”

“I’ll – I’ll see you tomorrow, though, right?” Lexa asks nervously, as if, for some reason, she already knows the answer. Her chest tightens and she feels like she might be sick.

It’s Clarke turn to look down at the floor, her nerves raking through her body like a freight train. “Actually,” Clarke whispers, too afraid to look up into green. “I, um – I think that –“

“You’re not coming.” Lexa mutters into the space between them, and it’s not a question. She knows it. Clarke, her best friend, isn’t coming to her wedding. She feels sick, and she stands strong, trying to keep her knees from buckling. Lexa feels her hands start to shake and she sticks them into her jacket pockets to keep Clarke from seeing them.

“Lexa, I –“

“No.” Lexa interjects, and takes a deep breath, trying to will her tears from falling, but it doesn’t work. A couple slip past her, but she ignores them. Maybe Clarke will ignore them too. “No, Clarke. It’s – it’s okay.” She shakes her head, and tries to hold back her sobs. “I, uh – fucked this up.” She continues, knowing that she did. She fucked up their friendship. Their relationship, or whatever this was. The best relationship that she’s ever had. She fucked it up. She’s been so hot and cold with Clarke, and with Costia. She doesn’t deserve either of them. “I understand.” She shakes her head again, not knowing what else to do. She lost. She lost everything that has ever been important to her, because she couldn’t get her shit together. “I, um… I understand.” She repeats, still trying to hold back her sobs, and when she is finally able to meet blue eyes, she sees that Clarke’s crying too.

She can’t believe that this is happening. She can’t believe this is over. At least, it feels over. Their relationship, their friendship, everything. All of those years gone. Just like that. She wipes at her face. “I’m sorry.” She cries, and she sees Clarke shake her head and look down at the ring box still in her hands. The blonde hands the box over to Lexa, with a deep inhale of breath. Both of their hands are shaking as the box is passed between them. Lexa looks up, one more time, not knowing when she will see this face again. Not knowing if she will see this face again. 

Lexa, using all of her strength and willpower, leans in, one final time, and places a kiss to Clarke’s cheek, and while her lips are there, a sob leaves her throat and she shakes before pulling back. She nods at Clarke, with one of the saddest smiles that this world has ever seen and says. “May we meet again.” Before turning, and walking down the hallway. Away from Clarke. Away from her best friend. Away from her true love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below and feel free to leave kudos! ;)
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up, guys? Sorry that it took forever. I've been on several different business trips over the past couple of weeks and haven't had much time to write, but I'm back so there's that. Yay! This chapter is sort of just a filler chapter. I don't think that anything in this chapter is from the movie, therefore it was hard to write and try to stay on track with where I want this to go. It's pretty much just the aftermath of Clarke's decision to leave Chicago and not attend Lexa's wedding. Plus, Lexa confronts Costia. Should be fun, right?

Brokenhearted. Terrified. Guilty. Jealous. 

These are only a few things that Clarke Griffin is filled with, right now, as her tear-filled, blue eyes watch Lexa’s tall, slender figure disappear down the hallway of the Langham Hotel. As soon as Lexa is out of sight, Clarke breaks. She breaks, and her tired, and broken body falls backwards against the wall of her hotel room, and she slides down to the floor. She doesn’t care that hotel carpets are probably one of the grossest things on the planet. She doesn’t care that she left her room door wide open. She doesn’t care that it’s like two in the morning, and she is probably waking up all of her neighbors with her piercing sobs of anguish.

Her heart is broken. Not only for herself, but for Lexa too. 

The look on Lexa’s face when she realized that Clarke was, indeed, not going to attend her wedding. With that one look, Clarke has never felt any lower than in that moment. She just can’t bring herself to go to that wedding. She loves Lexa. She’s in love with Lexa. So, going to the wedding of her love and another woman… well, that wasn’t really in her agenda, no matter how hurt they both are. What hurts even worse, is that she doesn’t know if they can come back from this. A decade of friendship, seemingly, flushed down the drain. She hurt Lexa, worse than she’s ever hurt anyone else in her entire life, but the thing is, Lexa hurt her too. 

She kept getting mixed signals from her best friend. Signals that friends shouldn’t be getting from one another. Clarke knows, in the back of her mind, that she probably didn’t the exact same thing, but she just doesn’t understand why Lexa would pick Costia, of all people. She understands that, yeah, maybe Costia is different with Lexa. Maybe the first couple of months of their relationship was great, and Lexa just thought that she was in love with the young Miss Daniels. That’s a lot of ‘maybes’, but Clarke can’t help but think about the entire situation.

She doesn’t know how long that she sits there for, but she knows that it’s been quite a while, because her ass is numb from the uncomfortable floor and the position that she was sitting in. That’s the least of her worries though. Her eyes are swollen, and she’s sure that they are red from all of her crying, but she can’t bring herself to care. She has to go home now. She has to go back to New York without Lexa. Without her best friend. Without her love.

She has to go home, and try to forget about her feelings for Lexa Woods.

Clarke, eventually, pulls herself together enough to stand from the floor in her room, and shut the door. She makes her way into the bathroom and jumps into a steaming, hot shower, hoping that the scolding water will burn away all thoughts of green eyes and long, brown hair. Of years of laughter, and crying, and friendship. Of love.

She can’t stand this. She can’t stand feeling like she’s this weak human being that can’t go on in her life, without a certain person. It’s ridiculous, really, how much she has come to rely on Lexa for pretty much everything in her life. They talked about everything together. Work, family, jokes, heartache. Everything.

Like she thought, the shower didn’t much at all. When she pulled her weary body from the shower, she went into the bedroom, and if she wouldn’t have been in a hotel, where God knows what is in the bedsheets, she would have just plopped down onto the mattress naked. Not bothering to put on any clothes, but since she is, in fact, in a hotel, she opts to throw on a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top. Her eyes close, but sleep never finds her. Of course, it didn’t. That would have been too easy, but alas, life is too cruel. Life does not work that way. Life, sometimes, just pretty much fucking sucks.

Hours pass by, and still no sleep comes to Clarke. She grabs her cellphone from the nightstand beside her bed, and ignores whatever notifications that she may or may not have, going straight to her airline app to book the next flight out. Just thinking about it, breaks her heart even more. The shattered pieces of it sink down into the deepest pits of her stomach, making her feel physically sick.

Once she has her flight booked, she throws all of her clothes back into her bags, throws on a bra, and a pair of blue jeans, opting to keep the same tank top on, and pulls her hair back before exiting the room.   
Checking out took way too long, in her opinion. She was hoping and praying that she would not run into Lexa or Costia in the hotel lobby. That wouldn’t have been awkward at all.

The ride to O’Hare wasn’t too bad. Clarke had the hustle and bustle of the city, through the windows, to keep her mind busy, and away from the dark thoughts that have littered her mind for the past few hours. The airport, although the city was bustling with life, wasn’t all too packed. She made it through security and check-in fairly quickly, and her plane was boarding when she arrived at her terminal. Good. No time to wait around and think. Once she was on the plane, she slung a pair of headphones over her ears, and cranked up the volume to her iPod. She would drown out any thoughts and feelings that she seemed to have, and she would most definitely not think about those green eyes.

 

//

As is was for Clarke, so it was for Lexa. The brunette didn’t sleep a wink the entire night, and she was sure that she didn’t stop crying, not once. How is that even possible? Do you, eventually, just dry up and lose all ways of producing tears? Her green eyes are puffy and seem to take on a red color all on their own. She doesn’t care, though. Right now, she doesn’t care about anything. Well, there is one thing, and thanks to her ideocracy, that’s gone, too. This has to say something about her character. “I’m a terrible person.” She says out loud, to no one in particular, as she lies flat on her back on the floor of her hotel room. She didn’t even make it to the bed the previous night. Lexa had pretty much buried her head into the mini bar of her suite, and didn’t come out until she fell out. 

She felt terrible. Not just because she was hungover as hell, and not just because she ran Clarke off, and probably out of her life for good. No. She felt even worse, because, within all of this madness, she’s actually supposed to get married today, and even though Costia has been a royal bitch, as of late, she doesn’t deserve this. Lexa has to come clean, and God, is she scared. Never, in a million years, did she ever expect to be one of those people that goes up to her fiancé, on the day of their wedding, to tell her that she has feelings for another woman. “I’m a terrible person.” She repeats, and groans when she finally opens her eyes, and the brightness of the room doesn’t help her massive migraine at all.

Lexa was wallowing. She’s never been one to wallow, and this made her feel even shittier. When she reaches to her side, not bothering to look, just feeling around for her phone, she doesn’t find it. She   
grunts when she realizes that it’s not within her reach, and that she’s actually going to have to get up to find it, but before she can, there’s a knock on her door. Her heart leaps from her chest, and up into her throat. ‘Maybe it’s Clarke.’ She thinks, giving herself all of this false hope. She knows that it won’t come. 

She sits up so quickly, she goes dizzy for a moment, and her head’s pounding is only intensified now. Lexa practically crawls to the door, when she hears another knock. She stands just before reaching it, and slings the door open quickly.

“Wow.” Her friend’s voice says. “You look like shit.”

Lexa groans, and turns around before falling face first into her bed. She hears the door shut, but she knows that she’s not lucky enough to have her just leave her be. “What do you want, Octavia?” Lexa growls, her voice muffled by the pillows of her bed.

“Are you seriously asking me that, Woods?” The shorter woman asks, and Lexa feels the bed dip beside her, but refuses to look her in the eye. She’s sure that Clarke has already filled their mutual friend in on everything that happened, only a few hours ago. “Shouldn’t you be up by now?” Octavia glances down at her watch. “You are getting married today, you know?”

A decent amount of time passes by, before Lexa actually replies to anything that Octavia has said. She, really, doesn’t know what to say. This is all so hard, and confusing, and she feels like everything that she’s doing, is fucking up everyone’s life. “I’m not.” She finally replies, exhaling loudly in the process, and there’s a bit more silence for Octavia acknowledges that she’s heard her. 

“You’re not getting up?”

“I’m not getting married.” Lexa says, finally sitting up, but continuing to keep her eyes from meeting her friend’s.

“You’re not – what?” Octavia almost yells in confusion. She moves closer to Lexa and forces her to look at her. “What do you mean you’re not getting married, Lexa?”

“It means exactly what it sounds like.”

“Don’t be an ass.” Octavia bites back, not scared of her friend’s attitude, even though it is weird for Lexa to get an attitude with anyone. It’s not really her style. Something is wrong. “You’re breaking it off with Costia?” She tries to keep her voice calm, and not show how excited she is to hear this. This is great news. Costia is a bitch, and this finally means that Lexa has acknowledged her feelings for Clarke.

“Yes.” Lexa finally answers, her voice more frail and hard to hear this time. She seems so small in this moment, and Octavia knows that there’s something else playing around in that brain of Lexa’s. “I’ve got to go find her.”

“You mean you haven’t done it, yet?” She asks and Lexa nods shyly. “Shit, Woods. Breaking it off the day of the wedding?”

“Would you prefer I do it the day after?” Lexa deadpans, and stands up from the bed, swaying as she tries to gain her composure enough to walk to the bathroom to wash her face. She hears footsteps behind her, and knows that she’s not alone. “I’m not in love with her.” Lexa finally huffs, turning on the faucet and splashing her face with the cool water that flows freely from there.

“I know.” Octavia replies, laying a reassuring hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Have you told Clarke yet?” At this question, Octavia feels Lexa’s body tense under her grip, but doesn’t really think anything about it at the moment. Lexa realizes that, no… Clarke hasn’t spoken with Octavia.

“I only came to this conclusion in the middle of the night.” Lexa says, as if Octavia should have known that without her having to tell her. “And no,” She exhales, she was hoping to avoid this all together, but she knew that it was a longshot. “Clarke doesn’t know, because I fucked up. She told me last night that she wasn’t coming to the wedding today.”

“What?” Octavia exclaims. “What happened? What did you do?”

“What didn’t I do?” Lexa retorts. “I’ve been sending her all of these damn mixed signals. I left her apartment without telling her ‘goodbye’. I’ve been hiding my feelings from her for – forever. I acted like I wasn’t in love with her for years, just so I could continue to be her friend. To be in her life in some way. I attacked some woman, at the club last night, who had her hands all over Clarke, and Clarke called me out for being   
jealous, and –“

“You what?”

Lexa tries to avoid her friend’s eyes, but naturally, she makes her look. “Clarke and this Niylah chick were making out pretty heavily last night.” Lexa shrugs. “Niylah was being rough and too handsy, so I pushed her off of Clarke. She swung at me, and busted my lip.”

“Ahh – so that’s where that came from.” Octavia says, pointing to Lexa’s bottom lip, and Lexa rolls her red eyes.

“So, I swung back and knocked her ass down, and then Clarke was tugging me out the exit.” Lexa sighs. “She was furious at first. Telling me that I had no right to do that. I couldn’t just decide to be jealous, and because I was getting married today. I apologized, but I refused to admit that I was jealous. We walked back to her room and I told her that I would see her today, and she said that she thought it would be best if she just went home. Back to New York.” Lexa is crying now, again, and she doesn’t care. She just doesn’t understand how she’s able to still produce tears. “I – I fucked it up, O. I fu – I ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to me, because I was too scared to tell her how I really felt.”

Octavia brings Lexa into her arms, holding her tightly, and letting her friend cry as much as she wanted to. This was both her and Clarke’s fault. Not just Lexa’s. Clarke had hidden her feelings, as well, but Octavia knows that it’s not any of her business to tell Lexa that. Clarke would kill her.

She doesn’t know how long they stand there for, but she holds Lexa for quite a while, rubbing soothing circles into the brunette’s back until her tears finally subsided. Lexa, eventually, pulls away and wipes at her eyes and face, before turning around and washing her face again. She then starts to apply a small amount of make-up, and pulls her hair back, out of her face. Octavia starts to walk off, because she thinks that Lexa won’t say anything else to her, but then her friend’s voice fills the silence once more. “I’m meeting Costia in an hour at the venue.” Lexa says. “I told her that we had to talk.” Lexa shakes her head like she’s terrified to do this, but she knows that she should. She has to. “I would – could you please come with me? You don’t have to be there for the talk. This is something I should do on my own, but I could really use a friend there. Will you ride with me?”

“Of course.” Octavia answers with a sad smile. “Have you – are you going to tell Clarke?” Lexa looks at her with a quizzical look, even though she’s pretty sure she knows what her friend is asking. “That you’re calling off the wedding?”

“No.” Lexa answers immediately, shaking her head to mirror her answer. “She said that she needs time away from me, and that’s what I’m going to give her. It’s what she asked of me, and I’m begging you not to say anything to her. Don’t tell her about this unless she just asks. I will talk to her.” Lexa says, even though she’s not entirely sure when she could do this. Clarke doesn’t want to see her. “Eventually.”

 

//

 

“Holy shit.” Lexa breathes out, and leans over to where her hands are resting on her knees. She’s standing at the tree line of the venue where she and Costia are to be married in just a few, short hours. Octavia, being the good friend that she is, is with her trying to keep her calm for her chat with Costia, but it’s not going so well. “Holy shit.” Lexa repeats herself, and stands back up, only to throw both hands on top of her head. “I – I’m freaking out.”

Octavia tried, she really did, but she accidentally let a small chuckle escape her lips. Lexa looks like a hot mess, and Lexa never looks like a mess. She’s usually the epitome of grace and composure, so seeing her this way is actually quite amusing. “Ya think?” Octavia asks, and Lexa swats at her but misses. “Just calm down, Woods. You’ve got this.” The shorter woman adds and a hand onto Lexa’s shoulder. “This is something that has to be done, and you can’t really put it off any longer. I mean, shit – “ She looks down at her watch and then back to Lexa. “The wedding is supposed to be at six.”

“I know, I know.” Lexa replies. “It’s just this –“ She waves her arm around in the air at nothing in particular, but Octavia looks around anyway. There are huge white tents set up everywhere across the gardened area, and flowers are brightly colored and in full bloom. The whole area is gorgeous, and it’s clear that the Daniels’ spared no expense to this wedding, which is probably one of the reasons that Lexa is so terrified. “This is all a bit much. I mean, look at this.” She points around again. “This isn’t even my style. This was every bit of Costia’s doings. That should have been my first hint that I wasn’t supposed to marry her.”

Octavia only hums in response, because she really, really wants to tell Lexa what an idiot that she’s been, but she refrains from it. Not the time, nor the place. When Octavia chooses not to say anything else, Lexa takes that as her queue to leave. “Wish me luck.” Lexa says softly, tentatively taking steps towards the area where she’s supposed to meet Costia.

“Good luck.” Octavia smiles, and like that, Lexa is gone.

Her feet carry her without her mind really even thinking about it. She’s so lost in her own thoughts with everything that’s going on, that she’s basically a robot on auto-pilot right now. When she finds Costia, her fiancé is standing under one of the white tents that’s housing all of the flowers for the reception. There are several florists working around her, and most of them look terrified. Lexa can only guess that Costia has been on a rampage, already, this morning. 

When Lexa approached her, Costia turns around and she can only see a hint of a smile cross Costia’s face. This should have been her second clue. Costia’s smile, however nonexistent that it may be, has never brought the intense feelings that Lexa feels when she sees Clarke smile. She shakes her head a bit and looks down at her feet, because she should not be thinking about Clarke right now. This is about Costia, and how Lexa is about to call off their wedding only hours before it’s supposed to happen.

Costia’s eyes scan over Lexa’s tired body. The taller woman is wearing ripped skinny jeans and a light hoodie with her hair pulled back into a ponytail. It looks like she just woke up, and walked out of her bed. “Lexa.” Costia says, and Lexa already knows that she’s about to fuss about her choice of attire. “You look tired. What’s wrong with you? And what the hell happened to your lip?” Costia asks as she approaches Lexa, her eyes scanning over Lexa’s face. Lexa had all but forgotten about her busted lip from the previous night. She had tried to push last night out of her head for good. She was truly hoping that it was just all one big, bad dream. Costia raises a brow, gesturing for Lexa to answer her questions, and Lexa lets out an audible sigh.

“A girl hit me last night at the club.”

“And why did a girl hit you?”

Lexa shrugs, not really wanting to get into this at all right now. “I was trying to stop her from being inappropriate.”

“Are you seriously going to be this vague with me, all day?”

“We need to talk.” Is all that Lexa says, ignoring Costia’s prodding, and taking her fiancé by her hand. “Come with me.” Lexa pulls at Costia gently, until the shorter woman follows her back towards the tree line of the property. Lexa can see that Costia is beyond irritated at this point, and she definitely has a right to be.

Costia crosses her arms in front of her chest, and pats her foot a couple of times, looking at Lexa knowingly. “Tell me that you’re not doing what I think that you’re doing.” Costia huffs, and the statement takes Lexa aback for sure. Lexa doesn’t answer at first. She doesn’t, honestly, know what to say. “Lexa. I’m talking to –“

“I can’t marry you.” Lexa blurts out before Costia can say anything further, but there is no look of shock on Costia’s face. She only tenses her jaw, and looks up at the sky for a moment before placing her gaze back on Lexa. “I’m so, so sorry, Costia – I just – I can’t do this.”

“Let me guess.” Costia starts. “This has everything to do with that pathetic excuse of a blonde friend that you have, huh?”

“Excuse me?” Lexa huffs. “You do not speak about Clarke like that. She is anything but pathetic, and yes… it has a lot to do with her, but mostly with me and you.” Lexa takes a step back, but keeps her eyes focused on Costia. “Look at us, Costia.” She gestures between them. “What happened to us? We used to have so much fun together, and then, you turned on me. What’s that about?”

“I didn’t turn on you, Lexa. You brought Clarke into our lives when she had no place being here.”

“She will always have a place in my life, whether you like it or not, Costia. She’s my best friend, and I –“ Lexa stops before saying anything else, because she knows that she would only stick her foot into her mouth.

“You what, Lexa?” Costia questions. “Tell me! Stop being a coward!” Lexa face falls at this, and she realizes then that Costia knows. She’s always known, and that’s why she hated Clarke so much.

“I love you, Costia.” Lexa says, her voice full of grief and apprehension. “But – I – I’m in love with Clarke.” Her shoulders sag and it hits her again how much of a horrible person that she’s been. Not only did she hurt herself and Clarke, but she drug Costia into this as well. “I’m so sorry. I – I thought that I was over her. I thought that I was over my more than friendly feelings for her, but I – I was wrong, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I drug you into this.”

There’s quite a few moments of silence, and Lexa almost speaks again, but Costia starts in first. “So, what?” She shrugs, her arms still folded at her chest. “What am I supposed to do now, Lexa? Call off the wedding hours before it’s supposed to happen?”

“Costia.” Lexa utters, and takes a step closer to her, carefully raising a hand and placing it on the shorter woman’s arm. “Just think about it. Do you really want to marry me? This isn’t what a relationship is supposed to be like. This isn’t what a marriage is supposed to be like, and I’m sorry that I waited this long to call it off.”

“How can you choose her over me?” Costia shouts, and Lexa has to look around to make sure that they aren’t drawing attention to themselves. “Clarke Griffin, Lexa? Really? What’s so special about her?” Costia is furious now, and Lexa has to step back again. “I’m – I –“ Costia looks around is if searching for her words. She can’t decide what she wants to say. She’s too angry. “I’m fucking crème brulee, Lexa! I’m Costia Daniels, and you settle for – for what? For Jello?”

Lexa runs her long fingers through her hair and lets out a half nervous, half sarcastic laugh at how ridiculous Costia sounds right now. “I’m not settling, Costia.” Lexa replies angrily. She hates how this woman talks about Clarke. “I happen to love Jello. I’m more comfortable with Jello than I am with crème brulee.” Lexa shrugs knowing that, she too, sounds ridiculous now. “I – I can – I just can’t do this, Costia. I’m in love with Clarke.” She repeats herself. “It’s not fair to you for me to marry you. Despite our arguments and differences, you deserve so much better than me.”

“You’re right.” Costia groans, and rubs her face with her hand. “You’re right. I do.” She starts saying, but she refuses to argue with Lexa anymore and turns to walk off.

“Where are you going, Cos?” Lexa asks, her voice almost betraying how emotional she is over this, even though that she knows that she and Costia aren’t meant for each other. Costia stops in her tracks and turns to   
look at Lexa over her shoulder. 

“Seeing as the wedding is supposed to be in like four five hours,” the other woman growls. “I have to go break the news to my parents that my fiancé decided to break it off last minute.”

“Costia.” Lexa breathes out and takes a step forward, but is halted when Costia raises a hand to stop her. “This is my fault.” Lexa says, and Costia doesn’t even try to hide her sarcastic laugh that she lets loose. “Let me go with you. I will tell them.”

“No, Lexa.” The shorter girl argues, lowering her hand and glaring at Lexa. If looks could kill… “Haven’t you done enough, already?” And with that, she’s gone. Disappearing from the tree line and out towards the hustle and bustle of the venue. Lexa is left alone. Alone in her thoughts. Alone in her regrets. Alone in her self-pity. 

Alone.

And it’s all her fault.

 

//

 

Two weeks.

That’s how long that it’s been.

It’s been two weeks since Clarke left Chicago. Since she left Lexa. And it’s been the fucking hardest two weeks in her existence. Of this, she is sure. Clarke knows that she is just as much to blame as Lexa is. They were both wrong. They were both hot and cold, never allowing the truth of their feelings for each other to slip between the cracks that their hearts wore. Clarke should have told Lexa the truth. She knows that. Her only fear was making things awkward between them, and ruining their friendship, but now here she is. Standing in this damned gallery, one that Mr. Wallace owns, staring at a gorgeous painting, and lost in her thoughts of what could have been. She ruined her friendship anyways, and Lexa still doesn’t know Clarke’s true feelings. 

She knows that this artist, this work, deserves her full attention, but regretfully she can’t give it. Her thoughts have been on nothing but Lexa for the past two weeks, and it’s got her on the cusp of insanity. She’s only received a couple of texts from Octavia since the time that she left. Clarke’s knows that her friend is busy getting back to work after all of the time that they had to take off for the wedding of Lexa and ‘she-who-shall-not-be-named’. 

If Clarke is honest with herself, she hasn’t really wanted any kind of interaction with anyone. She’s only seen Wells twice in the past couple of weeks, and she is trying her hardest to keep all of her focus on her work. She’s visited so many galleries and openings in the past few days, and seen so many new works of art, and met so many great artists. It’s always great to find someone who is just as passionate about art as she is, even though that passion has been temporarily transferred to another object of her affection. 

Clarke shakes her head, trying to rid herself of thoughts of green eyes and long brown hair. She turns her head from the canvas that she’s been staring at for far too long, and glances over her shoulder to see that Cage Wallace is preoccupied at the moment talking to another woman. Clarke rolls her eyes and then grabs her briefcase before sneaking out the door. She lets out a sigh of relief when she leaves, glad that she didn’t have to have another conversation with the repulsing man. She’s quite a ways away from her apartment, but she can’t bring herself to care about the distance. Clarke marches forwards, making slow, calculating steps towards her home. Normally, she would take a cab, but she wants to be around the crowds and the hustle of the outside world, because once she’s in her apartment – alone – her thoughts will linger on things that she knows that they shouldn’t.

It takes her almost an hour to reach her apartment. Her feet are killing her because of the heels that she was wearing, but she welcomes the pain with open arms. Pain has become a constant presence in her life as of late. She walks the three flights of stairs to her apartment, avoiding the elevator for the same reasons as before. As Clarke makes her way down the hallway, digging through her father’s old briefcase for her keys, she doesn’t notice the body sitting in the floor beside her front door. She hears the person stand from their position before she actually sees them. When Clarke lifts her blue eyes from her satchel, they are immediately met with the color she can’t seem to get out of her mind.

Green.

Clarke’s keys fall to the floor and she thinks that she might be sick. “Lexa…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below and feel free to leave kudos. You should know that I think that they next chapter will be the last for this fic. I'm not a hundred percent positive, but the possibility is great. Thanks for sticking with me! Love you all!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @muffinslayer90
> 
> (Yes. It changed. My friends thought that it would be funny because of an inside joke between us all, so don't ask.) :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! I know that you all probably hate me and have written me off, but I am terribly sorry. Life has been insane to say the least, but here it is... The final chapter. I hope that it works for you guys. It was hard to write, since in the movie, the best friends do not end up together. I had to figure out a way to make it work, because I definitely wanted to have a certain scene in there.
> 
> Thank you guys, so much for sticking with me. I hope you like it.

Sitting there against the apartment door of the woman that she’s been in love with for years, Lexa can’t seem to keep her heart from racing. It’s practically pounding a tattoo against the inside of her chest, and if she weren’t so worried about something else at the moment, then she might be afraid of having a damn heart attack right about now. She doesn’t know how long that she’s been sitting there in the hallway with her back propped up against Clarke’s door, but she does know that she looks like a creep. It’s probably been close to an hour that she’s just been sitting here. She can’t really remember. She doesn’t really care. She would wait forever. Lexa only just hopes that Clarke will listen to her at all.

Two weeks.

It’s been two weeks since her almost marriage to Costia Daniels. Two weeks since Lexa called of the wedding because she finally realized that she’s in love with her best friend and has been for years. She doesn’t know if their friendship is forever ruined or not, but Lexa has to do this. She has to tell Clarke how she feels. They can’t continue like this. Like they’ve been doing. Ignoring the longing looks and lingering touches from each other. It’s always so damn confusing. It’s time to shed some light on everything. It’s time to come clean.

Lexa is knocked out of her thoughts by the sound of heels clacking down the hallway. The hall is wide and long, with around eight apartments on the floor alone. Needless to say, that the sound of the heels on the tile floor is echoing around her and into her ears. She feels her heart jump up into her throat when she sees the owner of the loud shoes turn the corner.

Clarke.

Her blonde hair is down, cascading over her bare shoulders. She dawns a stylish tank top with a pair of black slacks, and of course, heels. Lexa sees that Clarke hasn’t yet noticed her, as she sits stupidly on the ground in front of her best friend’s apartment. Clarke is preoccupied as she digs for something in her purse. Most likely her keys.

Lexa moves to stand up. She feels her knees shake and her hands tremble, and she honestly doesn’t know why she is this nervous to talk to Clarke. To talk to her best friend. She wipes her sweaty hands on the   
thighs of her dark, skinny jeans and that’s when it happens.

Blue eyes look up to meet her own and she hears the clank of a set of keys hit the floor. It’s like everything is happening in slow motion and Lexa literally feels sick in this moment.

“Lexa.” She hears Clarke’s angelic voice say after a moment, and Lexa thinks that she’s never heard anything so sweet. She closes her eyes for a split second and she almost gets lost in her thoughts before the blonde speaks again. “Lexa? What are you doing here?”

Green eyes pop open. She had almost forgot that this is real. This is her reality. Lexa opens her mouth as if to speak, but then closes it. She has no clue where to begin and she feels like a complete and utter fool.   
Every word that she had practiced inside her mind for the past two weeks, just disappeared. 

“Is everything okay?” Clarke asks, since clearly Lexa forgot how to speak.

The brunette wipes her hands on her thighs again and nods, taking a step closer but immediately freezing when she sees Clarke tense. “I – umm… “ Lexa clears her throat and moves one hand to the back of her neck to rub. “I was in town and wanted to –“ She shakes her head and lets out a nervous chuckle. “I needed to see you.”

The two women just stare at each other for what feels like an eternity, until someone walks past them and it knocks Clarke out of her thoughts. The blonde clears her throat and bends down to pick up her keys that she had dropped a few moments ago. “Is this a bad time?” Lexa asks, and the fact that her voice is so small and terrified does not go unnoticed by Clarke.

“Actually,” Clarke starts as she walks closer to her apartment door and to Lexa. “I was just dropping some things off. I’m going out for dinner.” She lies.

“Oh – yeah, right. Of course.” Lexa replies awkwardly, stepping out of the way so that her friend can open the door. She did not think this through. She should have contacted Clarke before just showing up like this. Yet another strike against Lexa fucking Woods. Clarke steps into the apartment, but only for a second. She comes back out and shuts the door, adjusting her purse on her shoulder and giving Lexa a shy look. “May I walk you?” Lexa asks meekly and Clarke gives her an unsure look. “I mean – I can just walk with you to wherever you’re going. I’ll be in town for a while, so whenever you want – we can have dinner or, you know… something.”

“Don’t you have work?” Clarke asks, and she immediately hates how cold and uncaring she sounds. “I mean, are you still on vacation or something?”

“Oh – umm…” Lexa knows that neither Raven nor Octavia has filled Clarke in on what happened. That Lexa did not, in fact, get married to Costia two weeks ago. “Richard, my boss, told me to take as much time as I needed off. You know, to clear my head…”

Clarke turns to lock her apartment door and hums to herself. “Something wrong?” She asks, knowing that she could never be so cold to Lexa. She could never ignore her and pretend like she didn’t have even the slightest feelings for the green-eyed woman.

“No.” Lexa only half lies. “It’s fine, I just needed to make a trip out to the city and the boss gave me the go ahead.” Lexa grins when Clarke turns back around to look at her. “Might take in a couple of Yankees’ games while I’m here, if you’re interested.” Lexa knows that Clarke can’t resist a good baseball game. Especially the Yankees.

Clarke hums again, and it draws Lexa eyes down to her full plump lips and over to the beauty mark that rests just above them. The blonde turns to walk down the hallway, and Lexa feels her heart sink again as Clarke walks off without her. When Clarke makes it about halfway down the hallway, she turns her head and looks at Lexa. The brunette thinks that she spots a hint of a smile tug at the corner of those lips she had been staring at just a second ago. “Are you going to walk me or not?”

Lexa thinks that she’s never moved that fast in her life to catch up with someone.

 

//

Clarke cannot believe that she let her wall that she had built up, already be knocked down a little bit by Lexa. She’s imagined what their first conversation would be for the past two weeks. She’s played so many different scenarios in her head, it’s ridiculous, but none of them were of Lexa walking her to a place to meet friends for dinner. (Clarke had most definitely lied about that one, but she didn’t know what else to do.) She couldn’t be left alone with Lexa at her apartment. Not yet. She needed more time to think… That or she’s just terrified about everything could pan out.

The sun is beginning to set as the pair of friends round the corner towards the restaurant that Clarke had told Lexa that she was meeting Wells. She still has no idea as to what she’s going to do when she gets there. She decides that she’ll just wing it.

“How’s the art business going?” Lexa asks awkwardly as the two of them continue to walk. The brunette has been fiddling with her hands behind her back for the past three blocks. She can think of nothing but reaching out to touch Clarke. Reaching out to hug her best friend and apologize for being such a fucking idiot.

Without looking, Clarke answers quietly. “Good. It’s going good.”  
Lexa hums not knowing, really, how to respond.

Silence washes over them again, and Lexa has never felt more uncomfortable in her life. This is Clarke. Her best friend for the past decade. Since when has she let a little awkwardness stop her from being honest with her best friend. (Since forever, Lexa thinks to herself.) She’s been lying to herself about her feelings for Clarke for ages. She thought that she had gotten over them, but clearly she was wrong.   
Lexa lets out a nervous chuckle and finally, finally Clarke’s gorgeous blue eyes look up to meet Lexa’s own. “What’s so funny?” The blonde asks with a quirk of her brow.

“This.” Lexa replies softly as she looks back down to her feet as they walk. “I think that we should talk, Clarke. I – I can’t handle this. You’re my best friend, and I can’t continue to not have a real conversation with you.” Lexa stops when she realizes that they are in front of the restaurant where Clarke said that she was meeting Wells. “It’s been killing me the past two weeks. This silence.”

“It has me too.” Clarke responds so softly that Lexa almost misses it. Almost.

Lexa looks to Clarke again, and she thinks that she spots a shimmer of a tear in the cerulean eyes that have haunted her dreams for the past few years, but especially in the past two weeks. Lexa chooses not to say anything about the tears, though. “I have to tell you something.” Clarke quirks an eyebrow again, insisting that Lexa continue with what she has to say. 

The brunette nervously fumbles around with her fingers and rocks back a couple of times on her heels, before inhaling deeply. “I didn’t get married.” She finally says, and she said it so quickly and quietly that   
Clarke obviously didn’t hear her.

“What?”

Lexa huffs and looks back up to Clarke, deciding to stand tall and be honest with Clarke for once. “I didn’t get married, Clarke. I couldn’t – I didn’t marry Costia.” It takes a couple of seconds, but Lexa notices the exact moment that the words work their way into Clarke’s brain. Her blue eyes widen and her lips part slightly, and then a look of confusion washes over her. Followed by one of anger.

“You what?” Clarke practically shouts, and Lexa looks around at the people walking around them, staring. Clarke grabs a hold of Lexa’s face and turns her to look at her again. “What do you mean that you didn’t get married, Lexa?” The shorter of the two women drops her hand when she realizes how tightly she was holding on to Lexa’s face, and how closely she had stepped in to her.

“I couldn’t go through with it.” Lexa answers and her eyes search frantically over Clarke’s face trying to find something, anything, that would tell her what Clarke was thinking. She found nothing. “I love Costia, but I – I wasn’t in love with her. I couldn’t do that to her. I couldn’t do that to myself or to y –“ She stops herself, and her heart starts to pound inside her chest.

“How am I – why has no one told me this?” Clarke asks, her anger and hurt evident in her voice. “Why am I just finding out about this, Lexa?” The way that Clarke practically spits her name causes Lexa to cringe. “What? I’m not important enough to know that my best friend didn’t get married two weeks ago when she was supposed to?”

“Clarke,” Lexa breathes out. “Please. You’re causing a scene.” Clarke’s voice had most definitely caught the attention of the few patrons that were gathered outside the eatery, but the blonde clearly didn’t care.  
Clarke lets out a loud, sarcastic laugh and then grabs a hold of Lexa’s wrist and pulls her around the corner to an alleyway beside the building. “Is this better? Is this what you want? Tell me!”

“Why are you being like this, Clarke? I needed time, okay?” Lexa throws her hands into her hair and then runs them across the front of her face. “Jesus Christ. That wasn’t an easy thing for me to do, especially on the day of our wedding. I – I never thought that I would be that person.”

“Well, you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Why are you so fucking mad, Clarke?” Lexa argues back. The loudness of her voice takes Clarke aback this time. “Yes, you’re my best friend. Yes, I probably should have told you before it even happened, but I didn’t and I can’t go back and change that. I’ve had a lot on my mind, and you’re the first person that I’ve wanted to talk to this entire time. You’re the only person I’ve wanted to talk to.”

“So, what? Now you’re ready to talk? Talk about what, Lexa? You want to talk about feelings?” The sarcasm and anger is a constant flowing force, and Lexa has never seen Clarke this frustrated. This agitated.   
Lexa lets out a sarcastic laugh of her own. “Oh. That’s rich coming from you, Clarke. Why don’t you talk about YOUR feelings for once?” Lexa knows that there is something going on between the two of them now, and it’s not just one-sided. It’s not just her. Clarke rolls her eyes and turns her back towards Lexa, leaning her hands against the side of the building and taking a deep breath. “No?” Lexa starts in again. “So, what should I do, Clarke? Should I just go back and beg Costia to take me back? Would that make you feel better, if I just go back and beg her to marry me?”

“No!” Clarke yells, turning around to face Lexa again, and she gasps when she realizes how close they are to each other. She takes a second to gather her emotions and wits. Standing this close to Lexa after so long should not be this big of a deal, but it is. Lexa always has this effect on Clarke, and Clarke has the same effect on Lexa. “No, Lexa.” Clarke says again. Her voice is so much calmer and smoother. It’s almost as if it’s a whole other person talking now. “I don’t want you to do that. You were clearly not happy with her. You deser – you deserve to be happy.” A pause. “You deserve the world.”

The two women watch each other closely, trying to find out where the other one stands, but it’s Clarke who breaks the silence again. “I should go.” She really has nowhere else to be, but Lexa doesn’t know that. She just needs a little more time. A little more time to think about everything, before she can have another conversation with the brunette. “I, um – I have to meet Wells. I’m late.” Lexa nods her head slowly and looks down at her shoes in defeat. “But - I do want to talk to you.” Clarke says, bringing her hand to rest on her best friend’s shoulder. Lexa looks defeated and that’s not something that Clarke is used to seeing.   
She feels terrible. Awful, really, for the way that she just treated the other woman. “We need to talk.”

Lexa nods and Clarke retracts her hand.

“I’ll call you, alright?” Clarke says softly.

“Yeah – yes.” Lexa replies nervously, the skin of her shoulder still burning from Clarke’s touch. “I’d like that.”

Clarke nods. “Okay. We’ll talk soon.” And with that, Lexa leaves Clarke’s side and the blonde makes her way into the restaurant, skipping the food altogether and heading straight to the bar.

 

//

 

It’s late. Too late. Clarke has been rolling around in her bed at the apartment for the past two hours, and she cannot seem to find sleep. It’s been two days since Lexa showed up at her door step and told her that she, in fact, did not marry Costia. Clarke’s mind is still blown. How could Lexa not have told her? How could Octavia or Raven not have told her? The emotions in her head keep interchanging between anger, sadness, and confusion. At this point, it’s mostly confusion. 

Why did Lexa call the wedding off last minute? It was obvious that Lexa wasn’t happy with Costia, but Clarke can’t wrap her mind around what finally made Lexa make that decision, and why it took her best friend two weeks to come clean to her.

Clarke flips around in her bed, once more, and reaches over to grab for her cell phone on the night stand. She knows what she wants to do. She knows who she wants to talk to, but she keeps putting it off. What will she say? How can they get passed all of the confusion between the two of them? And all of the mixed signals? 

She knows what she wants. Clarke knows. But what does Lexa want? If this would have happened ten years ago, it would have been quite obvious what Lexa would want. She was in love with Clarke. That was   
obvious. They brunette had even told her so, but at the time, Clarke couldn’t tie herself down.

Oh. How she wishes that she would have tied herself down to Lexa then. There has never been anyone else for her. Clarke was just too crazy to see that.

Before she knows it, Clarke is typing out a message and hitting send. She doesn’t even notice the time is one-thirty in the morning until after she sends it.

 

Clarke (1:32AM) – Are you up?

 

Clarke waits for what feels like an eternity, and she’s about to give up, thinking that Lexa was already asleep, before she sees the three small grey dots light up at the bottom of the screen.

 

Lexa (1:37AM) – I am. Is everything okay?

 

Clarke, unknowingly, grins to herself because of course Lexa would immediately check to make sure that she is okay.

 

Clarke (1:38AM) – Physically, I’m fine. It’s my head that’s fucked up.  
Clarke (1:39AM) – I’m sorry that it has taken me this long to contact you.

Lexa (1:40AM) – You have nothing to apologize for, Clarke.   
Lexa (1:40AM) - I feel like I should be apologizing to you for the rest of our lives.  
Lexa (1:41AM) – I should have told you about calling off the wedding before it even happened.

 

At Lexa’s words, Clarke’s heart begins to flutter. She’s knows that it’s ridiculous and childish, but when Lexa says ‘our lives’, she can’t help but imagine a long and happy life with her best friend. That’s what she wants, but why is she still so afraid to tell the brunette that?

 

Clarke (1:42AM) – You definitely should have told me.  
Clarke (1:42AM) – But, I can’t stay mad at you forever.  
Clarke (1:42AM) – You know that.

Lexa (1:44AM) – You very well could, but I’m glad that you’re not mad.

Clarke (1:45AM) - I didn’t say that I was no longer mad.  
Clarke (1:45AM) – There will have to be lots of spoiling going on.

 

Clarke smiles to herself, knowing that Lexa is already rolling her beautiful, green eyes at her, but smiling nonetheless.

 

Lexa (1:47AM) – Then spoiling there shall be.  
Lexa (1:49AM) – Let me start making it up to you tomorrow? I have tickets to the game.

Clarke (1:53AM) – Have I ever refused a Yankees’ game?

Lexa (1:53AM) – That’s my girl.

 

There it is again. That damn flutter. Damn Lexa Woods and this effect that she has on Clarke.

 

Clarke (1:57AM) – Goodnight, Lexa.

Lexa (1:59AM) – Night, Clarke. Sleep well.

 

//

 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Clarke is awoken from her sleep by the loud thumping on her apartment door. She closes her eyes only to open them once more when the thumping resumes. She groans as she rolls over to her side and reaches for her cell phone to check the time. It’s already nine in the morning. She never sleeps this late, but she is most definitely glad to have had the sleep. Sleep has not come easy to her over the past couple of weeks, and she’s happy to know that she makes her own work schedule or else she would be terribly late for another job.

The banging on the door starts again and she finds herself shouting into the empty space of her apartment. “I’m coming!” She lets out another groan and swings her legs off of the side of her bed. She wonders who the hell is banging on her door at nine in the morning. Octavia is out of town, along with Bellamy, and Wells is in London on a business trip for the firm.

The floor of Clarke’s apartment is concrete and cold beneath her warm feet, and she practically sprints through her apartment, completely forgetting that she is only wearing a pair of short shorts and a tank top with no bra. 

When she reaches the door, she sets to unlocking all of the latches and deadbolts that Lexa had installed for her a few years ago. The brunette had told her that she would feel a lot better knowing that Clarke was locked up tight in her apartment while living alone. Once the door was finally unlocked, Clarke cracked the door and looked outside.

“Lexa?” Her sleep-rasped voice says quietly into the hallway, and she opens the door a little further. The brunette grins at her softly and lifts up a bag of something that smells amazing. 

“Is it too early to start the spoiling?”

Clarke chuckles shyly, but then opens the door wider and steps aside to allow her best friend in. “It’s never too early to spoil me.” Lexa hands her the bag and they make their way into the dining area of Clarke’s place. “What is this?” The blonde asks as she starts rummaging through the take-out bag.

Lexa shrugs and sits down at the small table in the corner of the room. “I stopped by to grab you some breakfast on the way here.” Clarke eyes her best friend in suspicion. 

“Lexa.” The brunette hums when Clarke calls her, and she avoids eye contact because she knows that she’s been caught. Clarke pulls out a glorious looking croissant and a small plate of smoked salmon, followed by a bowl of fresh fruit. It’s her favorite breakfast. “This food is from ‘LaFayette’.”

“And?” Lexa questions, trying to play dumb. “I thought that that was your favorite breakfast place? Has it changed? I can go get you something –“

“’LaFayette’ is nowhere close to here.” Clarke interrupts with a smile. “Did you go all the way across town to get this for me?”

There’s a bit of silence and Clarke’s grin widens when she sees the blush start to make its way down Lexa’s long neck. “Maybe.” The brunette practically whispers.

Clarke takes a seat in front of her friend at the table and looks at her fondly. “You didn’t have to do this.” She says. “But thank you. I haven’t eaten there in ages.”  
Lexa nods and watches her best friend tear into her very expensive breakfast. Not that Lexa didn’t have the money to blow on stuff like that. She does, and she would gladly spend every time that she has to her name, in order to make Clarke happy. “This is just the beginning of the day.” Lexa says after a minute or so. “If you want, I have a whole day planned out.”

Clarke’s blue eyes look up to meet Lexa’s and the brunette tries to not watch the blonde’s lips as she chews. She thinks that she eventually sees a knowing smirk on Clarke’s face, but ignores it. “I think that I’d like that.”

 

//

 

It’s been two hours.

Two hours since Clarke and Lexa left Clarke’s apartment and made their way to Yankee Stadium for the game. Unlike most sporting events, Clarke could not keep her focus on the game. Her thoughts ran rampant through her mind. Her own thoughts and ideas polluting her brain and making her feel physically sick. 

Lexa had still not brought up the fact that she called of her wedding with Costia. Or why she had.

Clarke fidgeted in her stadium seat and crossed her ankles in front of her; her popcorn and soda long forgotten as it sat between she and her best friend. The brunette beside her must have noticed all of Clarke’s movement, because after a few more moments Lexa turned her head to her friend. “What’s on your mind?”

Clarke looked over to Lexa with widened eyes, wondering how the taller woman always seems to know when something’s bothering her. “Nothing.” Clarke answers too quickly and shrugs her shoulders as if she has no idea what Lexa is talking about. “Just watching the game.” She continues, turning her eyes forward once more to watch the game. 

Lexa huffs and sits up a little straighter, turning more in her chair to face Clarke. The baseball game has been long forgotten on Lexa’s part. If she’s honest, she hasn’t paid attention the entire time that they’ve been there. She can only think about Clarke. Telling Clarke how she feels about her. That’s all that she wants to do, but she can’t seem to make the words come out, and it never seems to be the right time. “I call ‘bullshit’ on that, Griffin.” Clarke turns back to her, whipping her hair around in the process. Her eyes are wide and then skeptical as blue searches over Lexa’s stoic face. “I call ‘bullshit’.” Lexa repeats herself.

“Excuse me?” Clarke responds, turning more towards her friend.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” Lexa answers and then her voice goes softer. “It’s me, Clarke.” She says. “I’m your best friend.” Clarke doesn’t mean to, she really doesn’t, but she scoffs and then chuckles sarcastically.

The brunette looks a little taken aback by the look on Clarke’s face. It’s anger. It’s… hurt.

“I need you to tell me what the hell is going on, Lexa.” Clarke finally says, her voice much stronger and angrier than she meant for it to be. “You show up after two weeks and tell me that you called off your wedding…” Clarke huffs again. “If I’m you’re ‘best friend’, then why am I just now finding out about it, huh? Why didn’t you call me when it happened? Why didn’t you tell me before I –“ She stops herself, and makes herself look away from the green eyes that are boring into her own. “Before I left?”

Lexa looks at her best friend long and hard. Clarke is angry with her. That much is very evident, but she sees the tears start to form in the blonde’s eyes. “Clarke – I didn’t – I –“ She stutters, but nothing comes out.   
She doesn’t know what to say, and in that moment, Lexa wants to crawl into a hole and die. Clarke looks at her once more, and when she sees that Lexa isn’t responding, she gets up and leaves.

Clarke leaves her there.

And before Lexa can even register what’s going on, Clarke is gone out of her sight. 

“Shit!” Lexa exclaims, startling the older couple that had been sitting beside them, clearly listening to their entire conversation. Lexa jumps from her seat and stumbles up every step of the stadium to chase after her friend. When Lexa reaches the corridor, she’s happy that she tries to stay in such great shape, otherwise she would be about to keel over by now. Her head is on a swivel as she looks around, but has no luck in finding Clarke. “Clarke!” She yells, causing everyone to turn around and stare at her. She couldn’t care less. All she can think about now is Clarke. “I’m such a fucking idiot.” She murmurs to herself as she runs to the right, looking for her nearest exit.

She finds one quickly and is stopped at the gate by a large man with quite possibly the longest beard she’s ever seen. He works at the stadium. She’s seen him there before, but she really doesn’t have time for him so she tries to step around him, only to be blocked once more. “You wouldn’t happen to be running after a pretty blonde, now, would you?” His voice is powerful and raspy and Lexa can feel herself gulp at just how big this man is.

“Actually –“ She doesn’t get to say anything else before the man speaks again.

“She looked very upset.” He says, and Lexa shakes her head and looks down at her feet. She’s ashamed. She never meant to hurt Clarke. Never meant to make Clarke feel as if she didn’t matter to her, because it was quite the opposite in fact. Clarke is everything to her. She’s her entire world, and that’s exactly what she should have told Clarke back in the stadium. Back in their hotel in Chicago two weeks ago. “She took a cab.” The man continues after a moment, but this time his voice is softer. He must have noticed the defeated look or maybe it was the small tears rolling down Lexa’s face. Lexa looks back up to him and starts to open her mouth, but once again he stops her. “Heard her tell him to take her to the nearest park.” He shrugs. “Must have wanted to walk it off.”

Lexa’s lips turn up a little at that, because that’s exactly what Clarke likes to do when she’s upset, but then her grin falls and she remembers why her best friend is upset in the first place.

“Nearest park is just a few blocks down that way.” He uses his thumb to point behind him. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, you just – you look trustworthy. So, you better fix whatever it is you did to that pretty woman.”

Nodding, Lexa steps past him and starts towards the way that the man had pointed before she turns back to him. “Thank you, um –“ She realizes that she doesn’t know his name, and he must notice because he gives her one in return. 

“Gustus.”

“Thank you, Gustus.” She says before offering him a sweet smile and running towards the park.

 

//

 

Clarke had gotten out of the cab and practically sprinted around the small track that this park had to offer. She has been to it a couple of times before, but just in passing. It’s beautiful, really. Trees and flowers everywhere, all encircling a large fountain in the middle of the park area. After a while though, she spots a gazebo on the opposite side of the way that she had entered and she makes her way there. Her heart and mind are going ninety-to-nothing, and she can feel a few more tears trickle down her pale face. 

Damn, Lexa.

Damn, Lexa and the feelings that she gives her.

Clarke wanted her best friend to answer her. She wanted Lexa to answer her and tell her how she feels for once in her life, but once Clarke starts to think… she’s done the same thing to Lexa for the past decade.   
She knew, in the beginning, that Lexa loved her… but time has passed and they’ve grown to be close friends. The best of friends, and she never even imagined that Lexa might love her again. Might still love her.

She reaches the gazebo and places her hands against the railing, leaning over and attempting to catch her breath. Moments pass and she looks back up to look over the lovely park that she’s found herself in. Lexa would love it. The brunette would love all of the gorgeously colored flowers and trees and the way that the entire area is shaded by how big they are. She smiles when she imagines Lexa’s smile. She can’t be mad at Lexa. Not really. Not when she’s been lying to the other woman and herself for so long. Clarke has no right, but she still deserved to know that Lexa didn’t marry Costia.

Her eyes continue to skim across the park, when they land on something moving chaotically through the park. Down the pathway. Disturbing all of the people on their leisurely strolls. 

Lexa.

She would be able to notice that hair flopping around anywhere. The brunette doesn’t see her. Not yet. Clarke sees how upset that Lexa clearly is, and she also sees how badly that she’s panting. She must have run from the stadium, but how did she know that she was here?

Clarke’s thoughts are interrupted by the sound of Lexa’s voice. “Clarke?” Their eyes lock and Clarke feels her heart stop.

Damn Lexa Woods.

“Clarke.” Lexa says again, but this time it’s much softer because she’s closer. She’s now standing beside her best friend. The woman that she loves. “I’m so –“ Lexa tries to catch her breath and Clarke really wants to laugh because it’s quite comical watching Lexa struggle like this, but she refrains. “I’m so, so sorry.” She finally manages to get out. “I didn’t – I should have told you. I should have told you about all of the doubts that I was having about the wedding. About – about my feelings.”

“Yeah.” Clarke says softly, nodding her head and look Lexa directly in the eye. “You should have told me.”

“Can we – can we talk now?” She feels stupid asking. Obviously, Clarke wants to talk or she wouldn’t have gotten so upset at Lexa for not responding earlier at the ballpark. “I mean – have you – do you have a minute?” Really, Lexa? Really? Have you got a minute? Nice one, asshole. She mentally slaps herself.

“Yeah.” Clarke says, and Lexa can tell that her friend really wants to laugh at their awkward ness. The brunette feels sick. Physically sick. Like, she thinks that she might possibly die. This is it. This is when she finally tells Clarke about her real feelings. About how they never really went away. The two of them lean over the railing in the gazebo.

“Okay.” Lexa breathes out and leans back up, because she can’t stand still. She’s walking around in circles and practically panting like she is still worn out from her run. She’s not. She’s just nervous. And possibly dying of a heart attack. “I, uh – I have to say this quick or I’m going to have a massive coronary and you’ll never hear it, and – you – you just have to hear this.” She really didn’t mean to speak that out loud, but she did. Nothing that she can do about it now. She wriggles her hands together and feels the sweat forming there before looking at Clarke once more. 

Clarke walks closer to her friend, a small smile forming on her lips at how hysterical Lexa looks right now. The brunette is never like this. She is always the epitome of calm and collected. Not now, though. Now she looks completely wrecked. “Calm down.” Clarke says softly, but Lexa shakes her head and moves her hands up to her own neck and into her hair. She looks crazy. She knows. She actually might think that she’ll hyperventilate. “This is, by far, the dumbest thing that I’ve ever done in my entire life.” She says, and then decided to correct herself. “These past two weeks have been the dumbest time of my entire life.” She swallows and looks to her feet. “I can’t do th –“ She starts, but immediately looks back up into blue eyes and she knows that she has to. She wants to. “Oh, but I’m gonna…” 

Clarke is looking at Lexa with a look of pure confusion written in her features. “Lex?” She says quietly, as if they were in a crowded room of people. “What’s wrong?”

It’s weird, scary even, how calming Clarke’s voice is to Lexa. She takes a deep breath in and then exhales after a few seconds. “Clarke – I “ Another deep breath in and then out. Don’t be sick, Lexa. Don’t be sick.   
Clarke is looking at her with all of the care in the world and she’s never felt so sure of anything then what she feels in this moment. Other than sickness. “I love you.” A small sob leaves Lexa’s throat and she scolds herself internally.

Clarke’s smile immediately drops. Not in disappointment, but in disbelief. What? Did she hear that right? That was a different ‘I love you’ than she and Lexa were akin to saying to each other. That was something different entirely.

“I’ve loved you for nine damn years and I – “ Lexa steps a little closer and luckily Clarke doesn’t step back, although Lexa still cannot tell what Clarke is thinking. “I’ve just been too arrogant and – and scared to realize it, and well…” Something close to a nervous chuckle mixed with another sob escaped Lexa’s throat this time and she feels her whole body shaking. “Well, now I’m just scared, so… I realize that this comes at a very inopportune time.” She lets out another nervous chuckle and she feels a tear fall down her cheek. Clarke is still standing there with her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide. Her breath is coming to her quickly now as well. Lexa can see her chest rising and falling frantically. “I know that we’ve been in a weird place lately, and I just called off a wedding, but – this” She uses a finger to point in between she and Clarke. “This is why. I thought that I had gotten over my feelings for you, Clarke. I really thought that I had, but I was wrong.” She says and steps forward again. Clarke closes her mouth and looks directly into Lexa’s green eyes. “I was so fucking wrong, Clarke, and I just – I have this really huge favor to ask of you.” 

She takes one of Clarke’s hands in her own and is so happy that the blonde doesn’t pull away. It could be because she is stunned into silence and in some sort of shock, but Lexa will take it. “I choose you, Clarke.”   
Lexa says softly, and she realizes that it’s not really a favor that she’s asking her friend… until it is. She rewords herself. “Let me love you, Clarke. Let me make you happy, because – God, Clarke – I swear, you make me happier than anyone else in this life ever could.” She realizes she’s crying now, but she doesn’t care. This is Clarke, and she deserves the whole truth. “And I realize that I have been such a damn fool and you can –“

Lexa is interrupted by Clarke’s lips on her own and she is completely taken off guard by it. Lexa wraps her arms around Clarke and pulls her in tightly when the blonde’s arms do the same to her. Lexa thinks that she could die happy now, because this kiss…. This has to go be a good thing, right?

Clarke’s hand cradles Lexa’s lower back and Lexa’s move up to blonde tresses. They both swear that they hear a whole damn orchestra playing in the background, because this… this is how it’s meant to be. They are meant for each other. They are meant to be together.

Lexa pulls back, finally, because she realizes that they both need air and the two of them just stare at each other in disbelief. “I love you, too, you idiot.” Clarke grins and brings her back into another kiss. “I love you so much, Lexa, and I – I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you before.”

“I can’t believe you were going to let me get married.” Lexa tries to joke and Clarke slaps at her arm. 

“I can’t believe that you were actually going to marry someone other than me!” Clarke jokes back, not realizing what she’s said.

Lexa looks at her with all of the love in the world and smiles. “Are you saying that you would marry me, Clarke Griffin?”

Clarke’s face turns red and she grins before slapping Lexa’s arm again. “I would say that that is not completely out of the question, Miss Woods.” She leans in to peck Lexa on the lips who gladly accepts it. “But, what do you think this is?” Clarke grins. “Some nineties’ rom-com?”

The pair of friends pull each other into another tight embrace and kiss each other until the sun goes down. Best friend. In love. 

Now, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Let me know in the comments below. Kudos are much appreciated. Please go read my other fics, including my ongoing one "This Love is Criminal". After that one, there will be one of literally what's been happening in my life. Like... I can't make this shit up. It screams fanfic. So keep an eye out. I love you guys!!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @asuzh90 and on Instagram @asuzh90


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